From the monthly archives: January 2008
Last night, while I was busy waiting for HoMM5 to finish downloading, I decided to drop by this old LiveJournal community I used to be a part of last 2006 just for kicks, since I did not join it on purpose this year because I know I would forget about it and I wouldn’t be able to do it. What is it, exactly?
The LJ community is named Embodiment, a year-long project to write one journal entry a day for the entire year. It’s a really cool project which I totally failed when I first joined. Heh. People post ideas for posts, and these lovely photos of their journals, where I suddenly feel insecure of because I couldn’t be as artistic as they are. I loved seeing the photos, reading some of their entries and seeing how they decorate it all, using all kinds of things from receipts to rub ons to stickers to newspapers, drawing with various mediums such as pencils, bic pens, colored pencils, crayons, watercolor…basically anything that writes. There was one journal entry there that spoke of heartache, and it was just a green page with a heart in the middle, which looked like it was bleeding and the words, “It still hurts.” Ah, so painful, yet so beautiful. They made artsy pages about finding themselves, their family, letting go, dating a guy named Neil, school, new beginnings, and…so many things.
It’s too late to join the project (sadly), but I just checked my offline journal and I realized I’ve managed to write one entry per day for the past twenty-eight days. Interesting. Most of them are prayers/quotes, while some are actual entries which talk about…well, personal stuff.
As I read the entries on the Embodiment LJ community, it strikes me again how…bright and sunshiney I can be. I swear. I can’t remember ever writing any angsty entries in my journal (lovesick ones, yes, but not that angsty or emo…I cringe whenever I write anything emo –;)…most are positive stuff. Like there’s a better day tomorrow and things will be okay and all that. Not that that isn’t okay…it’s just…I don’t know, nice, I guess. Nice how I can still write in my journal even if I’m reallY okay — more okay than the other journals I read online, at least.
I used to ask myself before, when the main reason of my journaling was because of some heartache, if I would still journal if life is all okay. If I don’t have some boy I’m pining for, if my heart doesn’t feel like it’s about to be crushed anytime by my own expectations. What if I actually had a love life…would I even write at all?
I stopped writing regularly in my journal for about half a year, especially when I started my new job. I was more concentrated into blogging, and it was only lately I started writing again. It made me realize that it’s not always about love lives. I admit that I end up writing a bit more in my journal when there’s someone tugging at my heartstrings, but I have a feeling that even if that specific part of my life is okay, something else will come up. And it will be worth writing about…especially when I need to unload. Because everyone needs something to vent out on, and this is one of the best ways, yes?
So I guess we could call this journal (and the next few blanks I have in my drawer waiting to be filled) a mini Embodiment-like project for myself. I’ve always loved reading through old journals (even if it makes me cringe so much!), and it would be really cool to have journals to chronicle the entire year, right? Especially this Big, Fun and Scary Year, right? :D It may not be as artsy…but still, it’s my journal, and that should count for something. :)
I just realized that I have so much music in Triskal that I barely listen to, which is why I spend half the time pressing the next button when I’m listening to all songs. This is bad, right? I should get rid of the other songs already, even if I don’t need to clear any space.
Anyway, one of the songs I have been listening to a lot lately is a song from one kind of obscure Christian bands around, Exit East. I got to listen to them through Yahoo’s LaunchCast, I think. I’ve had this song for the longest time but it took me a while to really appreciate this, much like how Las Vegas invisalign dentists give you “invisible braces” to fix your teeth. In the same way, this song crept up to me until I gave it a listen, and now it’s on repeat. This is a really nice and relaxing song, and the message is quite beautiful too. :) Enjoy.
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ME FROM HERE
Exit EastI thought, I caught,
A glimpse of You in the field,
In the, smiles of,
My two boys,
Mercy makes me feel likeRunning on the water, reachin out much farther,
Than where I’ve been,
Growing in Your grace,
Looking for Your face,
In everything I am,And I, I want to know, I need to know Your
Love, I want to know, I need to know Your
Love, I want to know , I need to know Your
Love, Take me from here.I’m still, learning,
The things I ought to know,
Somehow, reach out,
To the ones,
That You’ve brought me to, (It’s like)Running on the water, reachin out much farther,
Than where I’ve been,
Growing in Your grace,
Looking for Your face,
In everything I am.Underneath the phrases,
Far from all the places,
Of where I’ve been,
I want to be where I see,
Nothing but Your glory,
In all I am…
I’m stalling. Fine, fine, I’m procrastinating. I have one more thing to finish today (well two things actually, but one can wait until tomorrow), but I haven’t done a thing. Argh. It’s 9pm, I should get moving…but after this post. :D
This meme has been done a couple of times over at LJ, but since I update this more than I do my LiveJournal, I’ll post it here. Rules are simple:
On a piece of paper, write and answer the following and then take a picture/scan it:
Name:
Age:
Location:
Current music:
Favorite movie:
Favorite book:
Describe yourself in 5 words:
Something weird about yourself:
So…here we go:
I was too lazy to scan it, so I just took a picture using Aslan’s iSight through PhotoBooth and edited it via Photoshop.
I remember taking a picture of my own handwriting a couple of years ago, when I still participated in message boards. :D My teammate told me last Friday my handwriting looked like it was computerized…but I really don’t think so. I personally think it’s still messy, with the non-uniformed size letters and whatnot. Or maybe I’m just being OC. Heh. I’m glad it’s not too chicken-scratch handwriting, though, or doctor-style penmanship, like the ones who do plastic surgery in Baltimore have. My cursive is okay, reminds me of a teacher’s handwriting. :D Oh, and I can write straight in unlined paper, so yay, because I like unlined paper for my journals.
I’m always curious about other people’s handwriting. So come on, do this! If you have did this, or have done this before I posted, do post your entry so I can check them out. :)
But first…I will work. NOW. Must finish this before 10pm. I’ve got 40 minutes.
So my past week has been…crazy. I had at least one meeting every single night. I’m the head of a project team for our account for this quarter (which feels really heavy even if it’s really not since it’s mostly checking and whatnot…but I feel like I should be the one setting the standard for the entire year because I’m the first leader on rotation), became an officer for IBS Club for the entire year…and both of that is on top of my work. Then there’s actual work, which is not that demanding but obviously eats a lot of time and is my number one priority when it comes to the office.
No, I’m not complaining. I actually like this, the feeling of being busy and all. It can get me a bit bewildered at times because I feel like I’m so inept, and that I couldn’t possibly talk to the people who I will be involved with because I lack authority and I hardly know them. But overall…I think I can do it. I know I can. And besides, I did say I’d do something new this year, and this is definitely something.
Then I learned last Friday what my performance rating is for 2007, and I’m not really allowed to say what it is…but it’s definitely good. :) The results of that would definitely help me in whatever I want to accomplish later this year. I’m pretty sure I still can’t afford to have happy hours in San Diego, but it will definitely help me with my Aslan bills and probably Mission: Sydney. And I’m really, really grateful about it. As much as I don’t really like being on spotlight, it sure feels nice to be recognized.
BUT.
Early during my high school years, when having a computer is still a big thing and the Internet is not as popular, one of the things that we all love exchanging with each other besides letters and stationeries are calling cards. Weirdly shaped, differently designed calling cards that only contain our names, addresses and landline numbers. No cellphone numbers or email addresses yet because they’re not yet in; the most you can have in your calling card is a pager number, which only a few people did not have.
Of course I used to have one, and it was made in good old Microsoft Word…or was it Excel? Haha, anyway, I lost all of them, and I never got to make anything else because I never saw the need for it when I stepped into college. Oh, and I never got my own calling cards back in my first job because I resigned before I could have one made, and the only time I have my own calling card now at work, which I rarely use and has the wrong landline number. -_-;;
I meant to make blog calling cards for the next blogger event so people could remember my URL, which I never made because I got too busy with work and I totally lacked the design skills to make a kick-ass logo design. ^^; I could make a totally plain one with just my name and my URL but that’s just…a waste of paper. There are professional people and places to get nice business cards done, like LogoYes. LogoYes specializes in logo design, which can be used in your business cards to give them a professional feel. LogoYes provides a quick and easy to use step-by-step program tha helps you create your own logo AND business card. There’s a wide variety of logos for you to choose from with different themes to fit your business need. Also, there’s different layouts of calling cards to help you pick how you want your card to look like. There’s not too much fancy stuff, but the quality of design is pretty good. Look at this design I made for Godchicks:
Looks nice, doesn’t it? Not to flashy, but good enough. These card designs aren’t free though (Logo designs for $69 while Logo and Cards for $99), and it’s not that cheap for simple blog cards like that but I think, from the ease and flexibility for how things are done, it’s worth the bucks. :)
I was planning to write this update at the end of the month but I realized that I may not be able to write one at that time because of my suddenly too busy schedule. Eep. So after 25 days of 2008, here’s the mandatory Big, Fun and Scary Year update for January.
For reference, here’s the Goals for 2008 list. :)
- Mission: Sydney. Well, for starters, I should write something on the blog. :P But anyway, I’ve saved up some more cash for the Sydney fund, and I’ve got another source of income to add some more. I’m due for some research for my friends who want to go with me. Oh, and I found some other people who are planning to go, and I’ve coordinated with them, so I’m just waiting for news. Ticket prices are outrageous, but my parents told me to check with travel agencies and as I’ve heard, ticket prices for July will be out by March…so we have time to save up. I still don’t know if this would really push through, but I’m still hoping it would. Next month, I promise to compile all information I can get to be ready.
- Drive on my own. Not much driving done, but I did drive when we were at Tagaytay. I managed to drive and manuever the (automatic) car successfully. Of course, there were no other cars in the road, so that made everything easier. But I think I can do this, and I’m hoping for another practice session on a Sunday. :)
- Lose weight. I had a hip-hop abs session once, and I’m hoping to get to do this more often. I have yet to visit the boxing gym. On the up side, I’m walking around a lot (especially since we always get up late so I end up commuting to work instead of being dropped off), so that makes up for the non-exercise times. I’m drinking lots of water and eating healthier now, though. I can now resist the call of chocolates. Hee. I remember having a discussion about liposuction back at work, and there really is NO way I will be doing that in my lifetime. Exercise times again!
- Book reading and reviewing challenge. I finished reading my first book in 2008, and currently reading two more books which I am almost done with. My first book review is also up. :D I should spend more time reading during my free time if I want to read this all. :) I’ve installed the Now Reading plugin to keep track of these books, and they’re in the Library.
- Shopping. I think I kind of spent a bit more than I wanted to this month, but then I realized: one can never have too many tops. Or…something like that. Heh. For this month, I got 4 tops, 2 pairs of shoes and my hair done. :) Yay. Next month I’m planning to get some pants…and probably some more accessories (like medical id tags? Nah).
- Hosting business. Much thanks to Happy and their web class, I just sold some of my space to her friends. This is where the additional Sydney funds are coming from. :D
- Prayer Time. I can say I’m starting to have a more or less constant prayer time this year (right when I get to work). I’m looking for new devotionals to read, though, and I think it’s really about time to read not only the readings for the day, but other Bible readings for study. I missed my first Wednesday mass for January, but I made it up for first Friday. :) Oh, and I just realized, Holy Monday falls on my birthday — that’s something new. :)
- Try something new. I’ve saved this one for last because there seems to be too many new things in my life right now that it’s got me overwhelmed…in a good way, of course. I got this leadership position for a project team in our account (where I would have to give a short presentation for later during our team’s GA), and as for our meeting tonight there’s a lot of things I have to do. Plus seeing I’m the first leader to go through the rotation, I have this feeling I have to set a standard for the other leaders to follow in the next quarter. Pressure much? And, I just became an elected officer for IBS Club. Good luck. This should be a pretty interesting year, yes?
Whew. I haven’t started on any of the other goals, but I think this is pretty good progress for January. :) All these things remind me of one song I used to listen to before I started a new job, Exciting Times by Across the Sky:
Things can happen so rapidly
Then again, they can take a lot of time
But I know these things are not up to me
But I’ll be ready in the mean time
Opportunity is calling out to me
I lay it all on the line…
This thing is bigger than me
And I’m just wanting to be a part of
Anything and everything You ask of me.
Listen to the song here:
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Truly, these are exciting times. And I know I’m up for a lot of challenges ahead, which I don’t really mind though I can’t help but be nervous about it. Sometimes it feels easier to just go back and be a part of the crowd, and not do anything out of what I ordinarily do. But that’s hardly living…at least to me. So, as I always say, bring it on! God is faithful, and I know He won’t leave my side as I face all these challenges and try to reach for my goals. :)
How about you? How are you doing on your 2008 goals so far?
Tuesday shared this video to me before and I watched it, but I only got to watch it again now because a friend gave me the link. It’s made me pretty speechless and it definitely brought tears to my eyes. Enjoy. :)
Despite the Alvin and the Chipmunks movie thing with Grace and Jeb, I’m feeling quite down today. I blame it all on the introspection I did on the dorky email invite I sent last night, to what kind of leadership style I have to me not having someone to vent this all out on. Not that I mind being able to write in my journal; it’s just that I miss having someone to vent all the things out on. Not only any person, but a specific person.
So now I ask the question: Is a friend still a friend even if you hardly talk to each other? Let’s say you had a pretty good friendship, but then a lot of things happened to your individual lives — one of you got a relationship, both of you started working, or someone in the family goes away, or something like that — and because of all of this, you slowly lose contact. You still consider the other person as a friend, but you hardly see each other, let alone talk. You can’t wait to tell the other person about everything, but when you do, you get nothing back. You text, but you don’t get a reply because you’re from a different network. You plan something so you would see each other, but then the other person doesn’t show up. Or the other person shows up, but terribly late and everything’s over. You continue talking about time together, but nothing ever happens. You find out major things about the other person from someone else, and when you ask that person, that’s when you get to know what really happened. You feel like you’re giving everything to preserve the friendship you have and there’s nothing from the other end.
Who feels like that sometimes? How about right now? *raises hand*
I was tagged by Kuya Kevin to do this, so to wake me up from my sleepy after-chocolate eating feeling, let’s do this. :) I’ve posted something similar to this before, so now I will try to post new ones, because really, one cannot contain weirdness in 6 things, right? :P
- I remember song lyrics better than the melody/music/whatever. I used to write music reviews for FiSH, but I always end up focusing on the lyrics rather than the music, which Jomar always has to write for me. I realized why this is so, based on this multiple intelligence test we took at work. I’m more of a linguistic person than a musical person. Therefore, I remember and take note of lyrics of songs more than remember their music. I can’t, for the life of me, say which songs sounds like another song because I can’t hear the similarity until someone points it out to me. :P
- I absorb everything first, then digest them all later. Now that made me sound like a sponge. I have this thing where I “absorb” everything first before I try to “feel” it after some time. Call it a defense mechanism of some sort. It’s like when I receive some bad news, I immediately build a barrier around me, and I store the information somewhere and then allow myself to “feel” the necessary emotions after I deemed it safe. It works both ways, actually, for good and bad news. I’m supposed to try to move on from this kind of thing, but I don’t know if I have. ^^;
- I like multitasking. Yes I do! Haha, maybe my way of multitasking is not like others…mine’s more of the “while the channel I’m watching is playing commercials, I’ll surf around for a while” type of multitasking. If say, I’m surfing around the Internet, while this page loads, I look at another site first. That kind of thing. It’s not that I don’t like waiting; I just don’t like being idle while I wait. This also comes in with my habit of listening to music while reading a book…it’s so when I get tired of reading I have music to fall back on. :P
- I will never get tired of Nickelodeon and Disney Channel. I may start liking other shows or channels, but Nick and Disney definitely have a place in my heart. :P
- After doing some major spending, I make quick mental calculations in my head about the remaining money I have. Chris caught me doing this on my first Doulos trip, where I was silently computing how much money I have left before the next payday. Ever since I started earning, I’ve formed a habit of having a personal minimum threshold in my bank account which I consider safe. If my cash goes lower than that, it’s immediately back to thrift mode. This is for me to avoid being bankrupt before the next payday, and really, I’d rather not get a payday loan because it just adds to my “to pay” list. It wasn’t until I moved into a new job where I started having balance sheets every month to compute my finances. It works. :D
- All my characters in the things I write are always based on real people. With the exception of the last NaNoWriMo novel, which I think made it harder to write. But if I know you in real life, don’t bother asking who you are in those characters, I won’t tell. :P I only spill them voluntarily, never with someone asking. :P
- I find singing boyband songs by myself or in videoke strangely calming. Ah yes. If I want to relax, let me listen to Backstreet Boys and N Sync. If I really need to destress, let me sing them in videoke, complete with dance steps. :P
Ah, mehn, that was actually quite hard to write. Heh. Anyway, I’m tagging three people at work because I know they read this: Grace, Mike and Roy. Come on now, share your weirdness. :P
On another note. It feels weird sending a meeting invite to people I don’t really know. What’s even weirder is that I used to do that all the time at my old job and I was used to it…after being so shy for the first few times that is. Now I’m fumbling again, and I feel really weird in sending a meeting invite. I should be used to this!
Okay, I shall click on Send and then leave my table just so I don’t feel iffy about it. I’ll get used to this. :D
