So just the other day, a couple of girl friends and I were having another sentimental moment and the focus? Our lack of romance in our lives, of course.

Yeah, it’s always that.

Sometimes it’s just frustrating, you know. There are a lot of times when being single is fun — spending money on ourselves and family, going on trips, and other single people stuff. You have more time, and you can do things without having to ask permission from someone, yadda, yadda, yadda. The usual stuff, you know.

But sometimes, it’s just hard to keep on waiting, you know. Like I said so many times, especially when there’s no one on the horizon. And there’s no one who seems to be making an effort, or when there’s no one to like. Or when whoever you like doesn’t like you back. And it’s especially hard when everyone around you seems to be in a relationship, and your friends are starting to have their own love lives…and it feels like no matter how much you make an effort — like dress better, lose weight through natural weight loss products, be available and all that — it seems like nothing is paying off. I can list more reasons why it’s hard, but if you’re single and have been single for the longest time, you know what I mean. How long must I wait, Lord?

And so the emo moments continued. I’m better now, because I’m not yet PMS-ing (watch out when I do, haha), and I did have some good talks with a lot of friends about this yet again. I have another post sometime about some other things like envy, but I thought I’d share how God affirmed me of my current position in life.

In today’s Gospel, Jesus said this to his disciples:

You did not choose me. I chose you and sent you out to produce fruit, the kind of fruit that will last. Then my Father will give you whatever you ask for in my name. (John 15:16)

I’ve memorized this verse way back in college, but it didn’t make sense to me until now. When I think about it, it’s true: I didn’t choose to be in this situation, God chose for me to be here. He led me here, not to be a cruel God, or to hold something out for me, but because He wants me to produce fruit that will last. I could try to go another way just so I can get what I want, but it’s not going to last because it’s not from God. It makes sense!

Okay for a more concrete answer. I get sad, I get lonely a lot of times because I have no boyfriend. Yes, I’m saying this out: I want to fall in love and be in a relationship. Maybe there’s something I can do just so I can have one now, I can have one soon, but would it last? Is it forever? Would the fruit of what I would do on my own last?

My friend Jana asked me this yesterday: what would you rather be: someone who’s had a number of boyfriends but didn’t last, or single since birth? I realized that my answer is still the latter, because as much as there’s so many experiences in having a lot of exes, I can’t imagine having to go through the hurt of breaking up and ending relationships over and over again. Maybe I’m being idealistic, but I’d really rather settle down when it’s with the right person than go through trial and error with wrong people, right?

So fruit that doesn’t last, or the one that lasts?

Besides, this sadness isn’t forever, ergo, the waiting shouldn’t be forever, too, right? I mean, Jesus did promise that our mourning will turn into joy:

I tell you for certain that you will cry and be sad, but the world will be happy. You will be sad, but later you will be happy. (John 16:20)

Happy thoughts for the weekend. :)