Tag Archives: God

A Friendly Reminder

Here’s a little bit of comfort from my morning prayer time (I finally got to do it again before I got to work — Yay!), which hit me hard, after all the er, complaining I did for the past two days.

The clinging of the women is symbolic of the way in which we can cling to comforting things in an unhealthy way such that they stunt our growth as Christians. The nature of Christian life is that God wants us to be always moving forward. He is not interested in us becoming comfortable in one way or another with our present faith experiences as He knows there is always so much more for us to receive from Him…clinging is usually symptomatic of the desire to remain static and not to accept the challenge of letting go in faith and trusting that we will be able to make the next few steps of the adventure of lifeI will have to get better that letting go of controls in my life and trusting that God will lead me to the right and best place for me.
– Fr. Steve T.

I know this already, but as usual, little old weak me needs reminding from Someone who definitely knows better. Thank You.

By God’s grace, I will live through this. I will cling to nothing else but Him. This is my Great Adventure.

Happy Tuesday everyone. :)

Skimming the Surface

Observation is a more powerful force than you could possibly reckon: the invisible, the overlooked, and the unobserved are those that are most in danger of reaching the end of the spectrum. They lose the last of their light. From there, anything can happen…Lives altered forever by you, by the simple effect of being present…by entering the light, by joining the dance.
– Mrs. Landing God, Joan of Arcadia (source: Television without Pity)

Can I just say that I’m sick of this layout already? I look forward to the upcoming Holy Week break to get working on a newer (and less pink) layout. Something that will last longer, yes?

The quote up there is from one of my favorite Joan of Arcadia episodes, the one where God told Joan to ask Ramsay the bully to the dance which put her life in danger but saved a lot more people even if it meant Ramsay had to go to jail. Joan thought she failed, but God told her otherwise, saying that she did exactly what He wanted her to do: to be present. To observe. To see things and notice the unnoticed. In this episode, viewers are taught how valuable our presence is.

Something hit me last Friday, hence the semi-emotional cryptic entry. ((Which wasn’t so cryptic according to some of my friends)) Yes, it’s about work and it basically made me want to get out of here — and I mean ASAP. What I mean with “here,” well, it’s for me to know and for you to find out. Ask me, I might just tell. Might. :p

Continue reading Skimming the Surface

What Happened When I Was Fifteen?

Again, thanks to Rico for the idea. :)

Fifteen years into this Earth caught me in my last year of high school. Junior year ended okay, but I was ready to leave school for a summer filled with lots of YFC activities. Unlike my other friends who went for summer review classes for college entrance exams at AHEAD, I went off to different YFC activities all summer. I went to Cebu for the 8th YFC International Leader’s Conference, to Bataan for the KFC International Kids Village, led different youth camps, and had everyday bonding sessions with my YFC friends at this house. This was undoubtedly the busiest summer I’ve ever had, and most summer days weren’t spent at home. I would wake up at 10, go out at 2 and go back at around 10 to 11 at home. I did this every single day until the summer ended.

Then came senior year in high school, which is the best year I’ve ever had in high school. I was all set to make the most out of it since it’s my last year in high school. I could say that my section, St. Paul, is the best section among all, but of course that’s subjective. :p Our senior class was bonded mostly because we lost two of our classmates early in the year. They were caught with liquor during our field trip, and they were expelled. :( We promised our adviser that the remaining 33 in our class would all graduate together, and after that we were all doing our best to help each other up. :) And come graduation day, all 33 of us marched onstage proudly, remembering two of our classmates who didn’t make it with us.

Continue reading What Happened When I Was Fifteen?

Woven Together

Every tear you cried dried in the palm of My hand.
Every lonely hour was by my side.
And every loved one lost, every river crossed—
Every moment, every hour was pointing to This Day…
I’ve been longing for This day!
The Martyr’s Song, Todd Agnew

Do you believe that everything that happens in your life happens for a purpose? Not only the big things, but also the little things. As in why you picked the clothes you wore, why you ate that lunch, why you woke up at this specific time and had to be in this specific place at this time? I’m not saying that everything is predestined and that we being controlled, but simply, God is in control. And no, predestination and God being in control is different.

How do I explain this? When we say predestination, whatever we do, whatever choice we make, we will end up this way. It’s like you’re driving in a straight road and no matter how much you turn your steering wheel, you’re still on the road. That’s predestination. God being in control, however, is like you driving, and there are different roads you can turn to. You may choose whatever direction you want, and on the way, there are different road signs posted for you. They may be good signs, warning signs or even full stop signs, but in the end, you still have the choice if you would continue to drive through or not. All roads in this part lead to one end, which is God’s will for us — if you stay on the road that is. But the last part is for another post, so I won’t elaborate.

Oookay, I think I kind of got lost with the entire predestination thing, but digressing now. There is a purpose for everything. There’s a reason why you’re your parent’s kid, why you study in your school, why you’re working in your job, why you’re friends with your friends and all that. Even the smallest, seemingly insignificant things (why you ate what you ate for breakfast) has a reason. Interesting, eh?

Okay, make it more like amazing. I still find it hard to believe that God actually took the time to put everything in place in my life. It may seem messy to me at times, but the way we think isn’t always is never the same way God thinks. It’s just really amazingly wonderful how someone as great as He is would take the time to notice someone as insignificant as I am.

Why the sudden thought? I realized how much He has ordered the things around me to be like this lately and I’m in awe. Like how Shifting Sands by Caedmon’s Call played in my iPod in shuffle mode during the time I was feeling so down and confused and guilty for displeasing God. Or when I feel down and hopeless about this certain state of my life and then I see something that reminds me of His promise. Or when I feel so unappreciated, and then someone gives me a compliment. Or how He urged me to take the leap, and then help me see my situation differently that I learn to like it. Or how everything fell into place at one project at work. Or when I was feeling annoyed yesterday and a friend posted a comment about how anger affects our faith. Or how the homily for today’s first Friday mass spoke directly to me, about how I must only concentrate on pleasing God. Or how I was made to stay late in the office but in turn, brought home a big Toblerone bar from our boss.

Or like earlier today, on my way home, I was squeezing in the jeep beside this guy when another woman squeezes in between us, stepping on my toe in the process. I was kind of annoyed (again, oops!) at her because I wanted to be nearer the door but I let it go. As we were nearing our village’s gate, the guy beside the lady who squeezed between us stopped the jeep and got down, but his other seatmate grabbed his arm and asked him to return whatever it was he took. Turns out her bag now has a hole, whereas it didn’t have a hole earlier. The man, annoyed, looked at her and said he didn’t do it and then went down the jeep in a huff. Thankfully, nothing was taken from the girl. I got off at our village and when I was about to ride the tricycle, I realized: it could have been me. If the lady hadn’t squeezed between us and stepped on my foot, I would be beside the guy and he could have taken my phones (I had three extra handsets in my bag for a weekend testing) or my iPod. I could’ve gone home with a slashed bag, if that lady hadn’t stepped on my foot.

Wow. I was hit by how God fixed everything. You may say it’s all just a coincidence, but I believe that coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous. God winks, as we like to call them.

Amazingly wonderful awesome God. Even in the smallest and seemingly insignificant things, He is there. He’s woven all of these together to bring about a colorful thing we call life. :)

Before I go to bed, here’s a poem I got from this website, for all of us to think about:

My life is but a weaving, between my God and me.
I do not choose the colours, He worketh steadily.
Offtimes he weaves sorrow, and I in foolish pride,
Forget He sees the upper, and I the underside.
Not till the loom is silent and shuttles cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvas and explain the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful in the skilful weaver’s hand
As the threads of gold and silver in the pattern He has planned.

Happy weekend, everyone. :)

MUfHH: Are You Ready to Be Offered?

My Utmost for His Highest (abbreviated to MUfHH by yours truly) by Oswald Chambers is one of the devotionals I read every morning during my prayer time. I love it how Mr. Chambers (or as I like to call him, Pareng Oswald ;p) can be so profound and direct at the same time. Sometimes his reflections can be a bit deep and most of the times they pierce straight into the heart and soul, but they are great insights nonetheless.

Anyway, from time to time, I’d be sharing some of the reflections that can be found in this book in this blog because the messages I got there are just too valuable not to share. :) They’re the kind of things you read that you want to highlight all over because hit you straight on. In common language, swak na swak. :P And here’s today’s reflection, which definitely hits the spot.

ARE YOU READY TO BE OFFERED?

“I am already being poured out as a drink offering.” 2 Timothy 4:6 (R. V. Marg.)

“I am ready to be offered.” It is a transaction of will, not of sentiment. Tell God you are ready to be offered; then let the consequences be what they may, there is no strand of complaint now, no matter what God chooses. God puts you through the crisis in private, no one person can help an other. Externally the life may be the same; the difference is in will. Go through the crisis in will, then when it comes externally there will be no thought of the cost. If you do not transact in will with God along this line, you will end in awakening sympathy for yourself.

“Bind the sacrifice with cords, even unto the horns of the altar.” The altar means fire – burning and purification and insulation for one purpose only, the destruction of every affinity that God has not started and of every attachment that is not an attachment in God. You do not destroy it, God does; you bind the sacrifice to the horns of the altar; and see that you do not give way to self-pity when the fire begins. After this way of fire, there is nothing that oppresses or depresses. When the crisis arises, you realize that things cannot touch you as they used to do. What is your way of fire?

Tell God you are ready to be offered, and God will prove Himself to be all you ever dreamed He would be.

* February 6, 2007 reflection from My Utmost for His Highest, emphasis mine.

This particular reflection reminds me of God.com by Alexander Langteoux, and Elijah’s sacrifice on Mt. Carmel (more to this on another post). This reflection obviously does not give a picture of a happy kind of faith, where one gets what he/she asks for in prayer. At first, our spiritual life would start like that, until God tells you it’s time to mature. And that’s where the struggle, the confusion and the sacrifices come in.

I think this is what most people avoid in their spiritual life, the one that comes after the initial wonder of discovering who God is. After a period of “bliss”, God brings our faith into a deeper level. This is the time when God asks one to do two things that I think are the hardest things to do: to let go and to trust. You may say that it’s easy to do that, like the way you let go of a top that doesn’t fit you anymore or the way you trust a friend by telling him a secret. But what if you have to let go of someone you loved for a long time because the relationship isn’t working out? Would you be able to let go? Or what if you had to tell your friend something about your past that you are so ashamed of, one that could potentially destroy your friendship? Would you be able to trust your friend even if he urges you to do so?

For the past few weeks, I’ve been learning that faith is hardly comfortable at all. It’s easy to tell God that you have faith in Him but to really put it into action is hard. To let go of yourself and to trust in Him fully is never comfortable. We tend to think that when we put our lives in God’s hands, our lives would become easier and it would be smooth sailing all the way. But it’s not. One of the major things we have to learn about believing in God is that it requires sacrifices. Although God loves just just the way we are, if we really want to follow Him, it would require sacrifice on our part. We cannot follow Him and our selfish desires at the same time. As we grow in our faith, we have to let go of our other baggages and learn to trust in Him. We have to let go of our former selves and trust that God is in control, that He won’t let anything harm us.

It may sound easy as I write it and you read it, but actually trying to live that out is, well, hard. I’m still struggling with this, and just as when I thought all my selfish parts have been “burned”, as Oswald Chambers said, I find out there’s more. The more you truly believe in Him, the more you — the selfish, conceited and nasty you — are destroyed to make room for the new person He is making you to be. This is the fire that comes to our lives once we decide to truly follow Him, the fire that burns not us, but the selfishness that lives within us.

I know this sounds all negative and all, but look at the last line of the reflection: Tell God you are ready to be offered, and God will prove Himself to be all you ever dreamed He would be. Think of your deepest, greatest and most wished-for dream, the one that makes you sigh and say, “Someday.” Think of your sincerest hopes, the ones where you say, “I promise to be good if only this would happen to me/if only I could get this.” Now think of that, and think of what you will do when you fulfill those dreams, those hopes. Think of the joy you felt on Christmas morning as a kid, and multiply that a thousand fold. That is just a taste of what God has in store for you, for me, for us. The pain that you and I experienced, am experiencing and will experience as the fire refines us is nothing compared to what He has in store for us after.

Letting go. Trust. Sacrifice. JOY. Are you ready to be offered?

Have a nice day, everyone. :)

Hello, 2007

Where was I for the past first five days of 2007? Let me list them down:

  • January 1: I spent the first two hours in prayer. *blissful smile* I was hit by a big realization the day before while having my hair cut, and that was then I decided that I will spend the first hour of 2007 in prayer. I ended up spending two because the first one was with my family while the second was for my own prayer time. I figured out that I concentrate better in my prayer when I write while I pray so now I write it down. :) I slept, then we went to Tagaytay after lunch for kicks. We visited the lot we have there, then ate at Josephine and went home. My brother and I were supposed to go to the gym but it was traffic so off home we go!
  • January 2: Back to work. It was still kinda relaxed since most people are still on leave. Oh yeah, this was also my first day of gym! Cardio workout for 30 minutes since we got there kind of late. :D
  • January 3: Workout again in the morning, and then work!
  • January 4: Workout again, lots of work and then dinner with the parents at Wendy’s. ♥
  • January 5 (Today): Workout again, then work and now home. HELLO WEEKEND!

Kinda boring if you list it like that. :P The only interesting day I had was New Year’s. Interesting in a way that it didn’t involve work. Although work can be a bit interesting; I’m just not allowed to talk about what exactly I am doing at work here. So there.

Although, I can definitely say that 2007 has been proving to be quite a challenging year so far. And yes, it’s mostly because of work. But let’s not talk about that. ;) It’s times like these that I wonder if I might really have the gift of prophecy (as in the gifts of the Holy Spirit). It’s not that I predict things that will happen (although sometimes, the things I say actually happen, but that’s for another post). Anyway, let’s see…2004 was a year where a lot of things happened, 2005 was the quiet year and 2006 was the year where I learned of God’s faithfulness. Before 2007 started, I was quite apprehensive because I can feel like this year is going to be a year of challenges. I feel like God is going to send me challenges here and there — things that will challenge my beliefs, my faith, my relationship with Him. I don’t know what these challenges are (except work? Haha okay I shall shut up now), but it’s enough for me to balk.

New Year’s Eve, I was praying for God to still my heart, that I may be ready for the coming year. I didn’t pray for it to pass, because I know I’d have to go through something like this sometime, and what better time than now?

Scary? You bet.

But then again, maybe that’s just me. You know, being negative for a change. Who knows? Only God knows.

Though…you know what? Last year is the year where I discovered God’s faithfulness which was deeper than I ever imagined…and this year is also an extension of that. Although maybe this year, God will bring me to another level, to have a real kind of faith, not the one that relies on feelings and experiences alone, but is solidly rooted in His saving love.

As I got out of the office earlier, I was thinking of a lot of things that involved our discussion in the office, as well as battling with this feeling of wanting to quit. But thing is, I’m not a quitter. Although sometimes it feels like I’m wasting my time, and I’ve been hearing so many stories that’s enough to scare me and make me want to retreat.

But then I don’t want to do anything that isn’t in God’s will. As I was walking towards the EDSA Shrine, I got thinking…about work, and the load that’s coming in the next few weeks, the challenges that I will have to face there…and I got scared. But then a word got to me: endurance.

I read it somewhere that we are put in places that isn’t necessarily what we want, and at times we kind of want to leave it because it’s not what we want, and it doesn’t make us happy. I know we should follow our hearts, whatever makes us happy…but do we even know what it is immediately? Yes, God’s will is our deepest desire, and God wouldn’t put us wherever we are miserable…but do we really know what our heart’s desire, just like that?

I’m not saying that God would make us do things we don’t like. God cares more about the journey rather than the destination. We may see that Thing A is good for us, but God sees that Thing B is the best, which is what He wants for us. And the journey to Thing B, is not always easy, but in the long run, it’s worth it because not only did we get the best, but we also became a different person through the journey. Only God knows what our Thing B is, which makes the adventure all the more interesting, albeit terrifying at times.
And through the journey? We endure. I looked up endurance in the Bible and I got this, which spoke to me immediately:

Be assured that from the first day we heard of you, we haven’t stopped praying for you, asking God to give you wise minds and spirits attuned to his will, and so acquire a thorough understanding of the ways in which God works. We pray that you’ll live well for the Master, making him proud of you as you work hard in his orchard. As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work. We pray that you’ll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us.
– Colossians 1:10-12, The Message, emphasis mine

So this 2007, it may be a year full of challenges, but I know God is faithful. And God is definitely bigger than any of the challenges that will come. :)

Here’s to 2007. *cheers*

It's coming around again

Hello, it’s the last year of 2006 and I still can’t connect through FTP so the layout will really just have to wait. Perhaps there’s other things God wants me to put in the layout so it’s waiting. Just be surprised when I have it up. :P

Anyway, I’ll be out later to go to my aunts’ house in QC for a pre-New Year visit, so I’ll be doing this 2006 look back now. I’d upload pictures, but it seems like I won’t be able to…so I’ll just link lots of stuff and re-post pictures I have lying around the site.

So…2006 was a year of fulfilled (and still being fulfilled) promises. 2004 eventful, 2005 was quiet, and 2006 was a year where I believed in God’s promises for me and the people I love; and also a year where I learned to branch out a little bit. Without further a do…here’s the monthly look-back I love doing. :P

Oh, and before you click that, I warn you this is going to be a long entry. :P

Continue reading It's coming around again

How many times…

…can God say “Go and sin no more”? Just a thought.

It’s true that the moment we let our guard down, the devil pounces on us. He tempts us at the moment we feel satisfied at how good and at right we are with God. At one moment we are walking all proud and upright, then all of a sudden, we trip and fall face first in the mud otherwise known as “sin”. And because we are embarrassed of our fall, we stay in that mud instead of trying to get out of it. When we do try to rise, we realize that we don’t have anything to clean ourselves with. But it is also true that the moment we fall, the moment we see and realize and admit how filthy we are and cry out to God in sincerity, He immediately runs to us and wipes away the dirt from our faces with His own pure white robes. He doesn’t mind the stain; all He cares about is to get us clean.

Anything that makes me feel comfort with God’s moral standard, anything that makes me feel, “At last I have arrived,” is a cruel deception…anything that makes me feel discomfort with God’s forgiving love is also a cruel deception.
The Jesus I Never Knew, Philip Yancey

Overflow

Today has certainly been one of my favorite days since I started working. :) I think it’s because of the entire “dress down” atmosphere today at the office; everyone just feels so “loose” and young and so college-like. :)

Today was also chicken day. Reg, Anne, Jane and I ate one whole chicken from the grocery. After waiting for thirty minutes, we ate and then talked about dogs and Philippine showbiz. :P Then we went back upstairs to resume work and around 2:00pm, the electricity went out, so we spent some time talking and waiting for the computers to go back on. The generators went back on, so we resumed work and then it went off again when electricity went on. I got trapped in the CR again (ProxCard, when will I get youuuuu?), and on the way up from the 28th floor, Sir Armand was there from a yosi break and then it was time to tag along for another meeting. The meeting had me laughing because of all the side comments and then I got to be formally introduced to Ms. Rox and Ms. Aileen, and now I’m formally known as the “colleague”. :p

Then it was time to go meet my parents for my brother’s birthday celebration so I said goodbye to everyone who are all heading to the opening of the Sportsfest for the company. I met my parents and on the way to SM Megamall, my boss sent me a message: By the way, good job on the competitor reports. We were commended by Ling.Ãœ Talk about happiness.

Then it’s eat-all-you-can-buffet at Saisaki for my brother’s birthday. He got to read the birthday greeting thanks to my dad’s WiFi laptop. We spent half the time laughing at each other and how embarrassed he is when some people sang songs to him as a greeting. :P

All in all…today is a good day. :) Plus it’s FRIDAY so that makes everything even better. :) Yeahbah.

So before I go to bed and go to dreamland, here’s a quote I got from one of the blogs I visited today. Perfect for today. :)

Stop for a second, breathe a quick prayer, and ask God to interrupt your plans, agendas, schedules, and to-do lists sometime this month to simply thrill you. As audacious as that sounds, it is not a daring request. You don’t really think that if you asked your Father in heaven to throw you a surprise party that He would give you a “White Elephant” exchange instead, do you? Can you dare to believe that God will get an even bigger kick out of delighting you than you will by being the recipient of His lavish love? God is bigger and sweeter and funner and wealthier and huge-r than you could ever imagine. But try anyway. Then ask boldly with expectation of His extravagant grace. (Lisa Whelchel)

Good night world! Have a great weekend! :)

Steady now, we're in this together

My dad arrived today. :) Yay. After fetching him at the airport, we headed to Duty Free and got lots of chocolates again (goodbye diet! Hahaha). I almost broke a bottle of Vodka for my brother’s birthday which goes to show how much of a klutz I am. I spent the rest of the afternoon reading The Curious Incident of a Dog in the Night Time by Mark Haddon (very unique novel…at some point I dreamt I was also autistic), and sleeping. I ate some Holy Kettle Corn (and felt really fat afterwards) and then prepared for the CLP.

Tonight’s talk was an old talk I’ve heard so many times already: Who is Jesus Christ? Being a part of the community for seven years, I’ve heard many versions of this talk many times. I’ve shared for this talk once, and to be honest, I don’t think it was a good sharing. :P I can’t remember what exactly I said then, but I don’t think I answered the question of who Jesus Christ is to me clearly.

Anyway, so tonight they needed a sharer and Kuya Gary got me, joking that I’m always mission ready. Right. I took the opportunity and the speaker, Ate Bev, told me to just share about who Jesus is for me. Then I was faced with the same question that I didn’t get to answer before: who is Jesus Christ to me?

Continue reading Steady now, we're in this together