Tag Archives: love

Two Years Later, How's that Heart?

It’s been exactly two years since I wrote this entry, which has been one of my most read/viewed posts to date. I’ve received lots of comments on that entry, all of which are inspiring and touched me at one point or another, from people I know to strangers who just found my entry online (which is on the third position when you search for singlehood in Google :P).

So now, two years later…how am I? More importantly, how’s my heart?

Yes, that’s everyone’s favorite question. :>

But seriously now. Here’s me, two years after the entry:

Continue reading Two Years Later, How's that Heart?

Eclipse (Stephenie Meyer)

Rating: [rate 4.5]

Eclipse (Stephenie Meyer)“BELLA?”

Edward’s soft voice came from behind me. I turned to see him spring lightly up the porch steps, his hair windblown from running. He pulled me into his arms at once, just like he had in the parking lot, and kissed me again.

This kiss frightened me. There was too much tension, too strong an edge to the way his lips crushed mine—like he was afraid we had only so much time left to us.

* * *

As Seattle is ravaged by a string of mysterious killings and a malicious vampire continues her quest for revenge, Bella once again finds herself surrounded by danger. In the midst of it all, she is forced to choose between her love for Edward and her friendship with Jacob—knowing that her decision has the potential to ignite the ageless struggle between vampire and werewolf. With her graduation quickly approaching, Bella has one more decision to make: life or death. But which is which?

NOTE: If you haven’t read New Moon yet, DON’T READ THIS REVIEW! You’ll be spoiled. ^^;

I really wasn’t planning to buy this one yet. I was planning to wait it out, wait for the paperback to come out, which I bet would come out a bit before Breaking Dawn does, which means I would only have a short time waiting until book four. Buut…I couldn’t wait. Plus I saw that the copies of Eclipse were running out in the bookstore nearest me…so I grabbed it and it was on sale, so yay. :) This book definitely helped me through my fasting this past weekend, and I can’t believe I read it this fast. It must be really captivating, eh?

I don’t know how I could review this novel without spoiling anyone who plans to read this book. I think this book saved New Moon. As I mentioned, New Moon was saved by Jacob Black, and I’m glad there’s more Jacob AND Edward here, which are both favorite characters. I like how there’s so many realizations happening in the story, how the characters interacted with each other, and how this story flowed more easily than New Moon did. I love how Bella finally started being nervous about her decision to be a vampire in the previous book, instead of her just wanting and not thinking of how this decision would affect other people in her life who were not immortal.

Okay, I’ll talk about three things here: Edward and Bella, Jacob and Bella and how Stephenie Meyer portrayed love in the story. There might be potential spoilers in this post (sorry, I just can’t avoid it :D), so proceed with caution. ;)

Continue reading Eclipse (Stephenie Meyer)

Love, Stargirl (Jerry Spinelli)

Rating: [rate 5]
Click here to buy Love, Stargirl from Amazon.com

Love, Stargirl (Jerry Spinelli)

Dear Leo,
I love beginnings. What better way to elaborate than to begin writing a letter to my once (and future?) boyfriend.

Stargirl has moved and left everything behind: Arizona, Mica High, enchanted desert places – and Leo.

He’s all she can think abbout, and her life begins to feel like a parade of unhappy anniversaries. Then Stargirl meets her wonderfully bizarre new neighbors: Dootsie, the curly-headed five-year-old “human bean”; Betty Lou, who hasn’t stepped outside her house for nine years; Charlie, who sits among the tombsones; hot-tempered Alvina with that one glittery nail; and Perry Dellophane, the blue-eyed thief who soon lays his own claim to Stargirl’s heart.

In letters to Leo in a course of a year, Stargirl comes to find hope in new places: mockingbirds, donut angels, moon flowers and the Winter Solstice — that turning-point day when dark tips to light. But what’s life without Leo? Will he — can he — answer that one crucial question she asks every morning to the rising sun? – Book blurb

It was around three years ago when I first bought Stargirl. I’ve been curious about the book ever since I saw it but I only got to buy it after a bad day at the photo lab at school. I loved the book — it was magical and bittersweet and reading it always left me a sad feeling over my heart, wondering if Leo and Stargirl will every meet again.

In this sequel, Mr. Spinelli brings us into Stargirl’s world, making us see through her eyes, and making us realize that amidst all the “magic” she held in the previous book, she is still a human being, and more importantly, a girl who fell in love, was “dumped” and is trying to move on with her life without her love.

This book kind of reminds me of The Perks of Being a Wallflower, written in the same way, only in a girl’s point of view and with less “serious” topics. Stargirl was introduced as a very unique individual in the first book, and Mr. Spinelli wrote it in a way that we can never know what makes her tick. We just know that she does what she does, and that’s it, like if she was explained, all magic would be lost. I admit that as I read the book, I also looked at Stargirl in wonder, also wondering how she could act that way in an environment that calls for conformity. The ending of the prequel left me wanting answers to who she really is.

Love, Stargirl doesn’t really answer this question, but it takes you into an adventure into Stargirl’s world without Leo. It’s interesting to see that even if she seemed “magical” at first, she is just very ordinary…just brought up very differently. It was interesting to read about her trying her best not to fall for Perry, or for launching into her different adventures with Dootsie or being a sister to Alvina…it’s amazing to see that even if she seemed so sure of herself in the prequel, she’s can be as awkward and unsure as the next person. She reminds me of Anne Shirley from Anne of Green Gables, only a bit less “head in the clouds”. :)

Stargirl is to someone to be loved. She’s a sweet person who “sheds light when she cries”. :) She’s one of the characters that will stay with you for a long time after reading the book.

I definitely recommend that one must read the prequel first before reading this one, just so you really get to feel and know Stargirl. :)

Blue Like Jazz (Donald Miller)

Rating: [rate 5]
Click here to buy Blue Like Jazz from Amazon.com

Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller

For anyone wondering if the Christian faith is still relevant in a post-modern culture,

For anyone thirsting for a genuine encounter with a God who is real,

For anyone yearning for a renewed sense of passion in life…

Blue Like Jazz is a fresh and original perspective on life, love and redemption.

“I never liked jazz music because jazz music doesn’t resolve. But sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself…I used to not like God because God didn’t resolve. But that was before any of this happened.

I’ve heard of Blue Like Jazz ever since Happy borrowed this book from her friend. I read some excerpts of it, but then what I really wanted was Searching for God Knows What by the same author because another friend recommended me that. I got that book, liked it, and planned to get this one as soon as I can…or ask for it as a birthday gift or something. But no one ever gave it to me, so I got it last Book Fair.

One of the things I really love about Donald Miller is how his books doesn’t feel like books; it feels like you’re listening to a story of a friend. Blue Like Jazz contains different stories on Miller’s life, about how his dad left them and how he sees God the Father, how he first sinned, his friends Penny and Laura and their conversions, studying in an “atheist” university in the US, being a recluse, church, tithing, love and of course, Jesus. How he tells it is very casual, never preachy. He makes things sound so simple, like when he says that what God really wants us to do is to love people, and let Him do the rest.

The book obviously makes one think, but not in a guilty way but in a way that he makes you realize that the things we think are so difficult to understand are actually quite easy. Did I make sense there? Ultimately, the book also made me feel like Jesus not only loved me, but He genuinely liked me too. :)

It’s a good book. It’s not too heavy, but not too light and fluffy to be dismissed. :) If you’re not much into church or Christianity but want to discover a bit more, then I’d recommend this book for you. :)

Some of my favorite lines in the book:

Continue reading Blue Like Jazz (Donald Miller)

And together, we will learn to love

One of the purchases I made in the Book Fair last month was the long overdue and should-have-been-bought-book-since-last-year Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. I have been planning to buy this since last year but I never got around to it, and it has been mentioned to me quite a few times by friends like Chris. Anyway, I finally got around to buying it, and I set aside some of the other books I was currently reading for this. I’ve read Donald Miller’s Searching for God Knows What and I loved it (though I might have to re-read it again :D).

I’m 3/4 through Blue Like Jazz and I’m loving every page. This particular chapter, Romance, is especially cool. I never thought I’d read something about romantic love in a book like this since it’s not really about it, but I like how Donald Miller explains how he learns about that kind of love. At the end of the chapter, he shared a part of this play Polaroids, which is about a man’s life from birth to death. This monologue is written after the man’s fight with his wife. He planned to have these characters divorce, but he changed his mind. Instead, his character kneels beside his sleeping wife’s figure and delivers the most beautiful monologue about love I have ever read. And here I will share my favorite part (emphasis mine):

I will give you this, my love, and I will not bargain or barter any longer. I will love you, as sure as He has loved me. I will discover what I can discover and though you remain a mystery, save God’s own knowledge, what I disclose of you I will keep in the warmest chamber of my heart, the very chamber where God has stowed Himself in me. And I will do this to my death and to death it may bring me.

I will love you like God, because of God, mighted by the power of God. I will stop expecting your love demanding your love, trading for your love, gaming for your love. I will simply love. I am giving myself to you, and tomorrow I will do it again. I suppose the clock itself will wear thin its time before I am ended at this altar of dying and dying again.

God risked Himself on me. I will risk myself on you. And together, we will learn to love, and perhaps then, and only then, understand this gravity that drew Him, unto us.

It’s such a beautiful expression of how a romantic relationship is made to glorify God even more. :) Hay. I shall print this and put this up in my journal for sure.

Book review will come when I finish it. This will definitely be in my favorites list. :) But for now I will continue reading and take a nap in my room (not in the living room sofa, for a change, woot! My bed may not be one of those modern platform beds, but it’s mighty comfortable :p) to recover from the little sleep I got last night. Have a nice rainy day y’all. :)

Taking Responsibility

“That’s what the right person does. But they don’t create it. Only the Creator can create…You’ve got to deal with your heart. Because until you can be trusted with your own heart, you can’t be trusted with someone else’s.”
– Savannah Philips, to her best friend Paige Long, Savannah by the Sea, p.300

The past couple of days, a friend and I have been talking about something we have stopped talking about for a while now: our love lives. Or lack thereof. :P Note that we stopped talking about it. Sure, we teased each other about it, but it has been a long time since we talked about it in a serious sense.

Let me give you a background of our little group. Out of the four of us, only one of us is currently in a relationship. One is still not allowed to have a relationship, while two of us are already “legal” but alas, we’re still NBSB (No Boyfriend Since Birth). And there’s still no one in sight who will take that status away.

I’m not complaining about that, really. Ever since I graduated, I more or less decided that I’m not ready for any relationship yet. I feel and know that I still have a lot of growing up to do before I can get into one. Of course, I want whoever that is to be the one I’m going to end up with forever, right? So I know I gotta be prepared for this, mehn. Like know how to cook a complete meal, clean the house from top to bottom, travel, travel, travel and all that.

Continue reading Taking Responsibility

Virginia Tech Massacre

Back when I was serving in YFC High School Based, our program head, Kuya Noli, told us the story of why YFC HS Based is very important. Kuya Noli often related to us the story of the Columbine High School Shooting, where after the event, a dad of one of the victims was present at some sort of conference about it discussing why it happened, and he spoke up: Because God has been taken out of the schools.

Hearing about the Virginia Tech Massacre reminded me of Columbine, and reading about what happened, seeing news about it brings tears to my eyes. There are many possible reasons why this happened; people could debate over the killer’s background, his attitudes and whatnot, but I think — and I know some of you might not agree with me — that the reason this happened is a God thing. Or lack of it. Not that God wasn’t there or He let this happen because He wasn’t looking or because He wants to punish people because no one is noticing Him, so He took the side of the killer in this event…rather, it was the lack of actually living out God’s love.

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MUfHH: Are You Ready to Be Offered?

My Utmost for His Highest (abbreviated to MUfHH by yours truly) by Oswald Chambers is one of the devotionals I read every morning during my prayer time. I love it how Mr. Chambers (or as I like to call him, Pareng Oswald ;p) can be so profound and direct at the same time. Sometimes his reflections can be a bit deep and most of the times they pierce straight into the heart and soul, but they are great insights nonetheless.

Anyway, from time to time, I’d be sharing some of the reflections that can be found in this book in this blog because the messages I got there are just too valuable not to share. :) They’re the kind of things you read that you want to highlight all over because hit you straight on. In common language, swak na swak. :P And here’s today’s reflection, which definitely hits the spot.

ARE YOU READY TO BE OFFERED?

“I am already being poured out as a drink offering.” 2 Timothy 4:6 (R. V. Marg.)

“I am ready to be offered.” It is a transaction of will, not of sentiment. Tell God you are ready to be offered; then let the consequences be what they may, there is no strand of complaint now, no matter what God chooses. God puts you through the crisis in private, no one person can help an other. Externally the life may be the same; the difference is in will. Go through the crisis in will, then when it comes externally there will be no thought of the cost. If you do not transact in will with God along this line, you will end in awakening sympathy for yourself.

“Bind the sacrifice with cords, even unto the horns of the altar.” The altar means fire – burning and purification and insulation for one purpose only, the destruction of every affinity that God has not started and of every attachment that is not an attachment in God. You do not destroy it, God does; you bind the sacrifice to the horns of the altar; and see that you do not give way to self-pity when the fire begins. After this way of fire, there is nothing that oppresses or depresses. When the crisis arises, you realize that things cannot touch you as they used to do. What is your way of fire?

Tell God you are ready to be offered, and God will prove Himself to be all you ever dreamed He would be.

* February 6, 2007 reflection from My Utmost for His Highest, emphasis mine.

This particular reflection reminds me of God.com by Alexander Langteoux, and Elijah’s sacrifice on Mt. Carmel (more to this on another post). This reflection obviously does not give a picture of a happy kind of faith, where one gets what he/she asks for in prayer. At first, our spiritual life would start like that, until God tells you it’s time to mature. And that’s where the struggle, the confusion and the sacrifices come in.

I think this is what most people avoid in their spiritual life, the one that comes after the initial wonder of discovering who God is. After a period of “bliss”, God brings our faith into a deeper level. This is the time when God asks one to do two things that I think are the hardest things to do: to let go and to trust. You may say that it’s easy to do that, like the way you let go of a top that doesn’t fit you anymore or the way you trust a friend by telling him a secret. But what if you have to let go of someone you loved for a long time because the relationship isn’t working out? Would you be able to let go? Or what if you had to tell your friend something about your past that you are so ashamed of, one that could potentially destroy your friendship? Would you be able to trust your friend even if he urges you to do so?

For the past few weeks, I’ve been learning that faith is hardly comfortable at all. It’s easy to tell God that you have faith in Him but to really put it into action is hard. To let go of yourself and to trust in Him fully is never comfortable. We tend to think that when we put our lives in God’s hands, our lives would become easier and it would be smooth sailing all the way. But it’s not. One of the major things we have to learn about believing in God is that it requires sacrifices. Although God loves just just the way we are, if we really want to follow Him, it would require sacrifice on our part. We cannot follow Him and our selfish desires at the same time. As we grow in our faith, we have to let go of our other baggages and learn to trust in Him. We have to let go of our former selves and trust that God is in control, that He won’t let anything harm us.

It may sound easy as I write it and you read it, but actually trying to live that out is, well, hard. I’m still struggling with this, and just as when I thought all my selfish parts have been “burned”, as Oswald Chambers said, I find out there’s more. The more you truly believe in Him, the more you — the selfish, conceited and nasty you — are destroyed to make room for the new person He is making you to be. This is the fire that comes to our lives once we decide to truly follow Him, the fire that burns not us, but the selfishness that lives within us.

I know this sounds all negative and all, but look at the last line of the reflection: Tell God you are ready to be offered, and God will prove Himself to be all you ever dreamed He would be. Think of your deepest, greatest and most wished-for dream, the one that makes you sigh and say, “Someday.” Think of your sincerest hopes, the ones where you say, “I promise to be good if only this would happen to me/if only I could get this.” Now think of that, and think of what you will do when you fulfill those dreams, those hopes. Think of the joy you felt on Christmas morning as a kid, and multiply that a thousand fold. That is just a taste of what God has in store for you, for me, for us. The pain that you and I experienced, am experiencing and will experience as the fire refines us is nothing compared to what He has in store for us after.

Letting go. Trust. Sacrifice. JOY. Are you ready to be offered?

Have a nice day, everyone. :)

Steady now, we're in this together

My dad arrived today. :) Yay. After fetching him at the airport, we headed to Duty Free and got lots of chocolates again (goodbye diet! Hahaha). I almost broke a bottle of Vodka for my brother’s birthday which goes to show how much of a klutz I am. I spent the rest of the afternoon reading The Curious Incident of a Dog in the Night Time by Mark Haddon (very unique novel…at some point I dreamt I was also autistic), and sleeping. I ate some Holy Kettle Corn (and felt really fat afterwards) and then prepared for the CLP.

Tonight’s talk was an old talk I’ve heard so many times already: Who is Jesus Christ? Being a part of the community for seven years, I’ve heard many versions of this talk many times. I’ve shared for this talk once, and to be honest, I don’t think it was a good sharing. :P I can’t remember what exactly I said then, but I don’t think I answered the question of who Jesus Christ is to me clearly.

Anyway, so tonight they needed a sharer and Kuya Gary got me, joking that I’m always mission ready. Right. I took the opportunity and the speaker, Ate Bev, told me to just share about who Jesus is for me. Then I was faced with the same question that I didn’t get to answer before: who is Jesus Christ to me?

Continue reading Steady now, we're in this together