I know I haven’t been updating as much, and I’m sorry. I’ve been busy with job related stuff that I keep on forgetting that I owe this blog A LOT of updates.

So my last post, almost a month ago, was about me registering as a pilgrim for WYD 2008 — FINALLY. After long long wait and doubts, I finally got off my lazy bum and registered. :) It felt exciting and all, but after a few days, the excitement wore off and I suddenly wondered if I should still push through. I suddenly realized I had so much stuff to do — fix my visa, fix my airfare, buy winter clothes and save, save, save! I suddenly had doubts if I could pull it off financially. Do I have enough money? Can I pay for everything? I know my parents are there and all, and I could ask them for some help, but I’m already working; I want to finance this on my own, as much as possible.

And if I do manage to get enough finances…how about when I return? I’d be losing almost a year of my savings…can’t I just continue saving and go to Australia (or other places) another time?

But…this is World Youth Day. This is a chance of a lifetime. The next WYD might be too far and even more expensive for me to go.

See, I’m talking to myself.

But anyway, I know my savings might be gone after this trip, and it’s only for a week. And when I get back, salary’s like three weeks to go. How the heck will I survive, especially with my bills? :| Going to Australia isn’t as cheap as horse supplements, you know.

That’s worse case scenario of course. I know I won’t blow off all my money, and probably for airfare I can use my trusty Lizzie or Sylvia the credit card to save me some of the immediate cash out when I buy the ticket. Plus I’ll be saving more because I know my accommodation and food are paid for with my registration. But I still can’t help but think if I want to postpone this for another time.

BUT THEN…what I’m talking about is just money. I know it’s important, but I know I can never replace the experience I’ll be getting from this entire thing. Cliche as it may sound, this is a once in a lifetime experience. I’ve been praying to go to Australia for two years now; why stop now when it’s practically within reach? Right? And this is like, the biggest Catholic youth event ever, and other people are dying to go. The experience is definitely going to make a HUGE dent on my finances…but I’m pretty sure the ENTIRE experience is worth it. Right? I can earn the money back after, but I can never replace all the learnings that I will be getting from this entire…adventure. Yes, this is an adventure. :)

Soooo…go lang! :) Let’s see where this brings me. :) I pray that God provide me the grace (and finances :D) to go through with this trip. Please pray with me? :)

But I shall only write about one of the OMG things yesterday as it’s the most relevant.

As the month of July draws near, I keep on wondering if I should push through with my WYD 2008 dream. Just last Saturday I was thinking that I might not be able to go there anymore because of financial reasons, and I’ve almost accepted it. There’s this “what if” whispering at the back of my mind, and some strands of regret that tells me, I should have tried harder.

And the latter thought sucks, by the way. I hate regretting things. And I feel like if I didn’t even try for this one, I would forever regret it. Or at least, regret it for the rest of the year.

I can’t remember how I got to checking airfares in the Philippine Airlines website yesterday, but I was doing that in the afternoon. I saw all airfares in their website is still out of my budget. Until my friend Marvs told me to check Ultimate Fares. I was ready to accept that the fare would still be expensive, and then Marvs told me of this one straight trip to Sydney via PAL that is around USD 760.

That’s like…PHP 10,000 less than all the fares I saw in the PAL website.

WHOA. OMG OMG OMG!

All of a sudden, the fire of the dream glowed brighter. Nabuhayan ako ng loob! I realized, with quick computation, that I could probably afford it. Most probably, leaning into the more positive side. I found a group of people to go with (yay YFC!). I found a reasonable fare (even if I’m still worried if that disappears). I talked to a friend who works with a travel agency and can give us packages for Sydney.

And suddenly, Sydney seems to be easier to reach!

So today, I finally did what I said I would do way back in February:

I registered as a Pilgrim in the WYD 2008 website.

Aaaahhhh!!! This is it! As what I called it before, this is my DIVE! This is when things start rolling, and I have to roll with it or else I’ll be left behind! I’m excited and scared and worried all at the same time, and this still doesn’t guarantee that I’ll be able to go, but I’m getting there. I still don’t know where to pull all my finances before I get there, but I’m praying things will all fall into place. Of course, I have to do my part as well — like work on my Australian Visa requirements and find more ways to save cash for the trip (donations are welcome, seriously).

I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of Your heart.

I think I shall call this day The Day of Action. Today and the next few days, that is.

And yes, this means I’ll be updating Mission: Sydney again. :)

No, I’m not planning to migrate there or anything. But it’s no secret that I’ve been planning to go to the World Youth Day 2008 since last year. And I’ve been planning to go to Sydney since November of 2006. It’s a tall dream, which I think (like…50/50) I can afford on my own and something I’ve been wanting to do for the longest time but is only having the courage to do so now. At least, start something.

But the thing is…I don’t know who I’ll be going with. See, I heard last month that the screening for Philippine delegates was finished last November. There were no announcements, no nothing. I have no idea if anyone is planning to go from SFC, I have no idea if there are any other groups planning to go. My friend from Singapore offered me a spot at their group, which means I’d be going to Singapore first, but then I think it fell through since it would be easier if I come from here since I’ll be getting my visa here too.

So here’s the question: should I go through with it?

It’s weird that I’m suddenly having doubts like this all of a sudden. It just feels like such a big thing that I have to tackle on my own. I mean, my parents are not going with me (although my dad did say he might be able to go to Sydney at the same time so we could see each other), and yes, some people expressed their interest. I think I can afford it…I’ve got enough money saved for registration, which means I only have to save money for airfare (which, when I checked, could go as high as Php80,000!!!) and pocket money. I have no problem with taking a leave too. But that’s just…me. How about the people I’m planning to go with? I know I shouldn’t worry too much about it, but I can’t help it. Going to Australia is expensive. It’s not as cheap as buying a pair of cufflinks, you know? What if they back out all of a sudden? I’ve contemplated on doing this thing alone…which is scary, of course, but it is an adventure. Kind of like, backpacking in another country…which is really extreme for someone like me.

Plus, I feel like it’s such a huge burden to think of and save for for the next six months, and the people who expressed their interest are relying on me to get the ball rolling…and it’s such a huge responsibility, you know?

This is a small thing (hence the small text), but also, all the people who expressed their interest are mostly guy friends…not that I mind, but can I have some female company, please? Anyone?

So should I go through? I told myself I’d register as a pilgrim before this month ends, so I can at least start fixing my papers for my visa before my birthday. I’m just afraid that I might do all these planning but end up not going and be disappointed and all. That, and I’m afraid I might end up being in debt after all the travel costs if I do get to go.

Hay. But I want to. Sydney will always be there, I know, but it’s not every year that the World Youth Day will be celebrated there. Although there would be other World Youth Day celebrations which I can still go to, but this is…my dream.

I’d be happy even if I could just get to hear Pope Benedict XVI’s mass on the last day.

Hay. I’ve got to take Erwin Raphael McManus’ advice and take initiative instead of waiting for something to happen. Nothing’s gonna happen if I don’t start doing something, right? So first thing to do when I get free time tomorrow is to compile all information I can get (events at WYD 2008, papers for Visa and financial stuff) and send it to friends who are interested.

Pray for me, please? :) Thank you. :)