Tag Archives: tough love

Tough Love

Life’s interesting. And hard all at the same time.

After posting my blog entry last night and while getting ready for bed, my mom and I got to talk about some family issues that she has heard recently, which, when I heard, kind of frustrated me too since the situation is just so wrong. Well, okay, not that wrong, but you know, things could be better. My mom and I agreed with what should be the right thing to do, but at the same time it made me think — is it really the right thing to do?

One of the things I’ve learned to understand as I am growing up is that I must always face the consequences of my actions. It’s quite harsh at times and painful, but I realized that this is the only way to grow. Well, okay, maybe not the only way, but one of the best ways. I’ve learned (and still learning) that one way of maturing is to face whatever is the outcome of what will happen.

For example. A guy gets a girl pregnant and they haven’t finished school yet. They decide to have a baby and the parents agreed for them to live together, under the assumption that they’d be taking care of the kid and take more responsibility, such as getting a job and paying for their share so that their family would survive. Ideally, that’s what should happen, but what if the new parents do not do this and instead, continue to be what they were before they had the kid? Like, instead of helping out in the house, they just sit around and do nothing? What if instead of saving up for the kid, they keep on spending instead on other things that would not help but instead will just satisfy their personal needs (like Las Vegas travel, but that’s a bit expensive)? What if they don’t understand the gravity of what they are, especially with the kid in their midst?

I don’t know, but I find it very frustrating to see people like that, who fall into holes that they have dug for themselves and do nothing to get out of it. Especially when you try to help them but they don’t help themselves.

But then again…who am I to judge? I’m sure I’ve done that myself more than once (not that I’ve ever had a kid, but you know, digging my own hole and falling into it). And not only that — with all my sins and darkness in me, God could’ve just chosen to turn away, leave me where I am. But He didn’t.

That’s grace, I know. And I’m more than undeserving. But God didn’t exactly give me everything I wanted after that; He changed my way of thinking which in turn helped me get out of the hole.

But what if the person’s not willing to do that? What will you do? What will I do?

Ah such heavy thoughts on a Wednesday morning, and I’m not even sure I got them all out right. I just found myself thinking of what I will do in that situation, if I were to be asked for help. Should I help? Or should I exercise “tough love” and let them learn the lesson on their own?

What is tough love anyway?