Honey Let Me Sing You a Song

Well, would you look at that. It’s the second half of 2014. Wasn’t it just yesterday that I was in Cagayan de Oro for SFC’s International Conference? ((I realized that I never had a recap post for this — must write this!))

I feel a little overwhelmed knowing that it’s the second half of 2014 already. May and June went by like that, mostly because my new role at work is keeping me busy every single day. To recuperate from all the stress, I do my best to start doing the things I like doing, otherwise known as the things I have time to do while I was still a semi-slacker. :P Of course, now that I don’t have all the time in the world to do all of that,  I have to choose and use my time wisely. Let me tell you: the temptation to do nothing right after a long day’s work is so strong, but now I try to battle that to do other things that I like. Like reading, or chatting with friends, or writing blog posts like this.

Of course, sometimes, the need to sleep and lie down and do nothing wins over, and well, that’s not so bad, either. Just not all the time.

I digress. This post is about songs, the songs that had somehow accompanied the first half of my 2014. I started doing this last year, and I thought it was fun, so now I am going to do it again. :D Because what is life without music, yes?

Seven songs, because 1/2 of 14 is 7. :)

(Post title is from Matt Hires’ Honey Let Me Sing You a Song. ♥)

1. I Will Be by Natalie Grant

[youtube MpkBCE57hyc]

Gracious, Gentle and Kind
Knowing that your love will shine
Through mine

I’ve had this song for so long, but I think I only really started appreciating this late last year to early this year. This song had so much positivity, and it gives me the fuel to try to be what the song says: I will be a candle in the darkness, I will be a hand from heaven above. :)

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Wanted

I got sick last week, and the funny thing about this particular sickness was I lost my voice along with all the other icky stuff I had to go through. This made me fall silent for almost five days, and that’s a feat, because if you know me in real life, I always talk. But there, I lost my voice, so I didn’t speak much last week. Thank goodness for social media, I guess, so I wasn’t completely quiet?

Anyway, the one thing I really don’t like when I’m sick is how it can get pretty lonely. Which is silly, because I was surrounded by people at home, and at work when I got to work. I was never really alone, but I still craved a specific kind of company. Not exactly a specific person — not now, not anymore, anyway — but you know, just someone. Outside of my family and friends who would ask how I was, and would take care of me, too.

I remember one time when I had the flu, and I was feeling terribly sad and lonely at home. And then I had the craziest craving for McDonald’s Twister Fries, and I wished like crazy that someone would bring me some. You know, bring me some at home. Again, I wasn’t really looking for a specific person to do it, but I knew then that I wished I had someone who would do that for me, even without my asking. Or you know, someone who saw what I posted online and would be nice enough to bring me some.

I wished there was a guy (there, I said it) who would be concerned about my health, too, and would take care of me when I get sick.

I wished that there was someone who’d bring me sick day food when I get hit by the flu, or asthma, or allergies. Someone who’d go out of his way and visit me home.

My brother brought home some fries later that day, and I was happy. But I still couldn’t shake off that feeling of loneliness that had long settled in while I was being all whiny. It sucks to be sick and to feel alone all at the same time. Even if I wasn’t really, completely alone.

Being sick can make someone feel the craziest kind of longing.

It’s silly, you know, how these lonely spells can feel like it’s the truth. How easily we get convinced that we need a specific person to make us feel less lonely. How we tend to disregard the presence of other people in our life because we want just one person. We put so much expectation on that person, whether we know him or not, and we end up being disappointed when that person cannot fulfill the need we thought they would feel. And then we get lonely all over again.

There was a time I went out with some girl friends, and after I had cried a little, one of them said, “Don’t forget you are loved. We all love you. God loves you. Don’t let this experience make you think you are less loved, because you are not.”

It wasn’t anything new, really — I knew all of that. But somehow, it’s so easy to forget. When my ego gets bruised, when my heart gets broken, the first thing I always seem to forget is how much I am loved. Instead, I focus on that one love I wanted, the I won’t really get anymore. I know it’s normal (and healthy, even) to feel bad and to cry over things such as heart break, but I think it’s also as important to remember that even if that one person doesn’t love me the way I wished he would, there are still people who love me. Who still love me. Who never stopped loving me, even if I was a complete mess.

You see, even in our loneliest moments, we were never unloved. We have always been loved.

It’s so easy to forget. But it’s the truth. And you have to fight everyday to remember it.

The good thing is, you aren’t alone in fighting to remember it, either. The people who love you? They will fight along with you to make sure you know they love you, too.

* * *

I was on a Hunter Hayes kick last week. While listening to his album, I realized that his song Wanted would be perfect for this next writing project I had already outlined. I listened to it several more times for more feels, of course, and somehow, the song started to become more about me instead of just my next project. As I was humming the song one day, I started to feel a little melancholic.

[youtube ruyaKdPfTN4]

On the umpteenth listen, ((Oh, I’ve stopped playing the song on repeat as of this week. Sort of.)) I sighed and prayed softly, Lord, I wish someone would want me.”

Then in the silence (because I still had no voice then), I heard the most gentle whisper in my heart, in the place where The One who made me always speaks: “I want you. I have always wanted you. I will always want you.

Image from we heart it
Image from we heart it

 

2013 Mixtape

You know that I don’t actually really make mix tapes, or recorded one in my life, ever? I mean the actual cassette tapes, because I made mix CDs as gifts to friends (and crushes), because it was fun and I was one of the first few who had CD burner before every household that had a computer had it. I remember making this a Valentine’s Day playlist in college (ooh, idea for next year) and gave it to several friends because why can’t I give a gift to my friends on Valentine’s Day?

While I haven’t made mix CDs / tapes for other people, I still make playlists for myself. Like I mentioned in previous related posts, you can tell my mood mostly from the music I listen to (or the lyrics I tweet).

So for my first 2013 recap, I present you my soundtrack for 2013. 13 songs for 2013, songs that aren’t included in the “EP” I listed earlier this year. :D

Warning: #feels all over.

(But perhaps not the kind of feels you are expecting.)

Image source
Image source

1. Start With Meby Meredith Andrews (Worth It All)

[youtube b4izl8DjGHQ]

My life is an empty cup
Fill it up, fill it up!
I wanna hear every rescued heart cry
You’re enough, You’re enough!
Break what needs breaking
‘Til You’re all we see
And start with me, start with me, yeah

I heard this song in one Boundless podcast and immediately bought it. I think it was one of those nights at work when I had a hard time sitting still, and this song helped me be still in so many ways. This also became my Lent song.

2. Not With Hasteby Mumford & Sons (Babel)

[youtube jIKE2_ZoUFE]

And I will love with urgency but not with haste

Funny thing: when I first tried to listen to a Mumford & Sons song during one road trip, I didn’t like them that much because I didn’t really like their sounds. And then, my favorite adopted brother gave me this song for my 27th birthday, and I learned to listen to their lyrics…and well, wow. That’s all I can say: wow.

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