Shades of Gray

Also known as: On gray areas

“I have a question.” I said to my best friend one day some time after my brother’s wedding. We were walking down Maginhawa Street in UP Diliman in search for a restaurant aptly named Gayuma ni Maria. I say “apt” because of the nature of my question then.


I told him the story of a friend who got back with an ex who broke up with her because he wasn’t ready for a commitment yet. However, the guy seemed to change his mind and decided to pursue her again but not in the same pursuit fashion that I qualify as a real pursuit. Anyway, she said yes and they’re back together and it had me a bit baffled, so I knew I had to discuss that in length with someone who knows better. “I can’t really understand why she’d get back with him after he told her that,” I remember saying. “I mean…why did he even pursue her if he wasn’t ready for a commitment? And why did he even try again so soon — how sure was she that he’s ready now?”

“Uh-huh.” It was all my best friend could say because he knew I still had stuff to say. And he was right.

“But she’s happy,” I said with a small sigh. “And I know that’s important. More important. I just don’t get it. Is this something I don’t understand because I haven’t been there yet?”

My best friend nodded thoughtfully. “Well, probably. It is very different when you’re in the relationship. And…well, relationships are messy. It’s never black and white.”

“Mostly gray, right?” I said, then laughed. “Strike one for the single since birth, I guess.”