Your goodness shall follow me

01.

I talk about being brave, but sometimes I think I really don’t know what it entails until it stares at me right in the face. I haven’t watched the movie We Bought a Zoo (although I probably should), but I remember this one quote from the movie that always comes up when I search for “bravery” and “courage” in Google: ((Sidenote (or, fine, footnote): I wish it was that easy, just enter the thing you want or need and Google and you get results. I wish it was that easy.))

You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.

Twenty seconds, huh?

How about five?

Image from we heart it
Image from we heart it

02.

There was that one mass, where I fell to my knees after receiving communion and started tearing up. Okay, that isn’t really new, because sometimes I find myself crying a lot while at church, which often feel like the safest place for my tears. I knelt down and prayed, and my heart cried out. I don’t know what to do, Lord. I don’t know if I should go forward or forget about it. I’m scared, I’m scared. I just don’t know. Please tell me what to do.

Those were my prayers, but I realize later that underneath all those prayers is this one more urgent, pressing prayer: Please tell me what’s going to happen if I do this. Please, please.

And then, the answer: I will not tell you what’s going to happen. Remember that even your mistakes are in My plan. Will you trust Me?

By the time I went out of the church, I know what I was going to do. Okay, I didn’t know how I will do it, but I know what I think I should do.

God, I’m scared.

03.

I came across this post as soon as she posted it, but I didn’t want to read it the moment I read the first few paragraphs. Not now, not yet.

Now I read it and read it and read it, not because it contains the answer I need but because it’s one of the few things that I can hold onto now, as I prepare:

You must look that answer in the eyes and listen to it, and let it ache, and let it roam around, and let it lead you. Because the truth will always lead you somewhere.

04.

“You know how when you eat a sundae and have tequila after, you expect LBM…but not too soon?” My friend made me laugh at that statement, but there is truth in what he said.

When you’ve come to the point of no return and then you are asked to wait again, it’s frustrating. Let me say that again: it’s frustrating. It’s even more frustrating when some things you sort of expected to happen later happen too soon, before you’re completely ready for it. What results is you, a complete mess, breaking down at random times in the day while you try to hold yourself together, try to not take offense, try to not over think things, try not to jump to conclusions.

It’s not like you can turn back, anyway. Or you’d want to turn back.

“The only thing you can do now is be strong, and wait.”

05.

This must be what free-falling feels like. How long till you get to the end?

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Songs for you, truths for me

First off: no, this is not a review or something of James Morrison’s album (even if I loved that album). I am borrowing that title, though, because it seems like the best one to use for this post. (So thanks, Papa James, hihi ♥)

Remember that 2012 mix tape post I wrote last year? I realized that I enjoyed writing that post so much that I should have another one. Of course, this is more appropriate at the end of the year 2013, but then it’s too far away and there are too many songs that I’d want to include in that list based on how 2013 has been so far. This is a little cheat, so I can list more songs. ;)

A little fact: My current mood is almost always connected to the music I listen to (or in the lyrics I tweet). I’m a lyrics person so I relate quick to them, and you can almost always tell the state of my heart based on the song I have on repeat for several days/weeks. I’m sort of transparent that way.

So do expect that this half-year playlist has a lot of #feels, because that’s really just how I roll. :)

Image from we heart it
Image from we heart it

1. Winter Snow by Chris Tomlin feat. Audrey Assad

[youtube v7PQhGTCRuU]

Your voice wasn’t in a bush burning
No, Your voice wasn’t in a rushing wind
It was still, it was small, it was hidden

This is actually a leftover from Christmas, and this turned out to be one of my favorites until the year ended. It’s a Christmas song, but it doesn’t sound like a Christmas song, which is great because I still listen to it even now. This song can still calm my heart. :)

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When you hear this chorus

Also known as: Mayday Parade in Manila…well, a bit of it, anyway

So, I meant to blog, but as always, I haven’t blogged much. That just never change lately. Oh well. But I see a blogging event coming soon, so…wait for it.

In the meantime, I will leave you with this. Last week, I went to my third concert for 2011. This is one of those concerts that I did not think I’d go to, if it weren’t for some people convincing me to go with them. Not that I mind, of course, since I ended up liking the band anyway. It’s kind of nice to do that, be a part of a screaming fan crowd and also kind of watch it too. I like the novelty. :)

But anyway. I can’t say much, because, well, I’m not really a fan (yet), but it was a great night. Meralco Theater had good acoustics, and the band was so hyper. The screaming fangirls were awfully loud, but I guess that’s what happens when you’re a fan. Oh, and I still can’t get over how thin the lead vocalist is.

So I apologize for the lack of pictures. Some people can recap the event better than I do, really. But here’s a video of one of their hit songs, Three Cheers for Five Years:

[youtube 5ybOVLkXois]

And another, my favorite, but it’s the song with an insanely long title that I have a hard time remembering the entire thing. Seriously.

[youtube ENohXVsGOmw]

Now if only they have happier songs…