You know how some people have annoying and extreme mood swings? You know, happy one time, sad the next? Not quite manic-depressive, but you know, just extreme mood swings?
I think I have something like it. Only in things I do, not work.
See, some time ago, I was all out in all the things I do — be it work, extra-curriculars or even non-work. I believe that I should throw myself fully in everything I committed myself to. If I said yes, I must follow my word and see it all through. 100% commitment, as I say. Plus there’s me not complaining if things get difficult. Heck, I said yes, who gave me the right to complain?
I think one of the things that I really suck at though, is saying no. I mean, I can say no to some things, but you know how some people always has to offer help, even if their plates are so full? I’m that kind of person. I feel like I should always help someone, even in the smallest way possible, as long as I try to.
And…I know it’s not bad. And I’m not saying this to say that I’m a good person, but it’s just something I feel like I should do.
Lately though, I just feel tired of everything. Like I want to take a break. It’s like I’ve gone all out on other things for the past few months, and now I felt…burned out. No more energy, no more fuel.
Which is annoying, really, especially seeing that there’s so many things I need to do for the next few weeks or so.
Only, I don’t feel like doing it. It’s like…I want a break. It’s like I wish I didn’t take so many responsibilities before that people expect me to continue stepping up, even if I don’t feel like it. It’s like I’m resisting. You know when you’ve been stressed so much over something, that when you finally get to rest from them, you don’t want to go back to them ever again? It’s that feeling.
Is this burn out? Bah. I don’t believe in burn out.
Or maybe I’m just stressed.
Anyway. This too shall pass. I just need to take it easy, really. Or at least, do some major de-stressing. :P I can’t wait for November — time to lose myself in the novels for NaNoWriMo. That shouldn’t be stressful. I hope. ^^;
I have an annoying stomach ache from skipping lunch then eating a big dinner. I brought lunch from home today so I didn’t eat it…I want to at least eat it since I don’t want it to go to waste…but I can’t eat anything anymore, even if it’s French toast casserole (whatever that is). I think I’ll just read The Thirteenth Tale and go to bed in a while.