All posts by Tina

Just the way you are

Jana told me about this song a few weeks ago, but I didn’t really pay attention to it, up until last Friday when my brother was dropping me off to the airport for my Cebu vacation. Jana liked the video first, but since I’m a lyrics person, I focused on the lyrics first. :) From that weekend until now, I couldn’t stop listening to the song.

Just look at the lyrics:

Just The Way You Are
Bruno Mars

Her eyes, her eyes
make the stars look like they’re not shining
Her hair, her hair
falls perfectly without her trying
She’s so beautiful
And I tell her everyday (yeahh)

I know, I know
When I compliment her she won’t believe me
And it’s so, it’s so
Sad to think that she don’t see what I see
But everytime she asks me “Do I look okay?”
I say

When I see your face
There’s not a thing that I would change
‘Cause you’re amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile
The whole world stops and stares for a while
‘Cause girl you’re amazing
Just the way you are

Her lips, her lips
I could kiss them all day if she let me
Her laugh, her laugh
she hates but I think it’s so sexy
She’s so beautiful
And I tell her everyday

Oh you know, you know, you know
I’d never ask you to change
If perfects what you’re searching for
Then just stay the same
So don’t even bother asking if you look okay
‘Cause you know I’ll say

When I see your face
There’s not a thing that I would change
‘Cause you’re amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile
The whole world stops and stares for a while
‘Cause girl you’re amazing
Just the way you are

The way you are
The way you are

So, so, sweet. And yes, the video is very cute, too, especially the girl (love her hair, her cheekbones, her smile, her top…can you say pretty?):

[youtube]LjhCEhWiKXk[/youtube]

I swear, this song brings on such a good vibe that I’ve made it my alarm in the morning, and I keep on listening to it every now and then all day — at home, while preparing for work, breakfast, drinking vitamins for women, while working, walking, and even later at the gym. :) My favorite line from the song would have to be this: Oh you know, you know, you know I’d never ask you to change /If perfects what you’re searching for / then just stay the same. Ah, talk about a self-esteem boost. :)

You know what would make this more awesome? If the video for the song doesn’t just display one pretty girl, but all kinds of girls. You know, girls regardless of skin color, height, weight, race, fashion sense,  etc. I mean, the song is a love song, but I think it’s also a song about confidence, and loving yourself because you are beautiful just the way you are. :)

Don’t you think so?

Siblings and Birthdays

Last year, I remember that I was doing a 30-day blog challenge at this month, which I ultimately failed because of the flood. But as I was browsing through old entries, I saw my birthday greeting to my brother last year, and how I “complained” that we don’t have any decent pictures together.

Well, a year later, and I’m happy we have pictures together now! It’s not always decent, but hey, pictures are pictures!

So let me take a break from working (so much work left to do!) to take the time and greet my favorite and only brother. :)

Happy birthday!

It’s not my best picture (look at that oiliness!), but I thought it was a really nice picture of us. The jacket is my birthday gift to him (nay on the best weight loss supplements for him, haha), and it’s been a while since I last gave him something I knew he’d really like. :)

He’s getting married in less than a month, too! But that’s for another post, I think.

Happy birthday, Kuya! Alabyu! ♥

More long weekends, please?

I’ve had a lot of long weekends the past year, but I think this recent long weekend has been the most productive of all. Strange, because this long weekend isn’t really planned, but I’ve learned from experience that the unplanned stuff are always the best. Right? :)

Of course it’s not that I didn’t make plans. I did, but the fun thing is I didn’t stress (much) about any of them, and I actually followed through with most of them. Plus, I realized this weekend became a “me” weekend, and I think it has been ages since I last that.

So what exactly did I do?

FRIDAY

I blogged about this before, but I think it’s worth mentioning again that I used to clean my room three times a year when I was in college, once every term break. It’s amazing how much junk a room can accumulate in three to four months’ time, but it’s understandable then because I was a student and I had a lot of stuff in my room. When I started working, I only used my room as a sleeping place, so it got messy but there was no reason to clean it. I don’t have a “fresh start” for every term, anyway.

Anyway, ever since Ondoy, my room has been a royal mess because it acts sort of like my brother’s closet too since he lost all his room’s furniture in the flood. I had my own mess there of course, and my mom has been bugging me to clean it before she left for Saipan and now she’s back, it’s still messy. I’ve put this one off for the longest time but I knew I had to do it especially since the rains were coming, and I don’t want to lose any more books to a flood.

So I finally found the time last Friday — no more putting it off, mostly because I realized I can’t keep on buying books if I don’t have shelf space! So…I cleaned half of my room! :) Yay! I have a more detailed post (with pictures) on my book blog.

Oh, and I now have a count at the total number of books I have yet to read: 52. Heh.

SATURDAY

Saturday was another me day, with a twist. I wasn’t planning to head to my second home, Ortigas, but I received a box of pastel last week and half of it is for my friend, Cors. So I trekked over to Galleria to meet her and to set an appointment with the salon to get myself a well-deserved (and a bit expensive) hair cut. I wasn’t planning to try something new with my hair, but I’m easily convinced to do something lately, so I gave in. The end result? Shorter hair, and bangs. The last time I had bangs, I was what, seven? I can’t remember anymore.

You want a picture? Excuse the low quality here — I suck at self portraits. :P

I kind of wish I could have my hair professionally treated everyday. Hah. Let’s see tomorrow if my hair will continue to behave. :P

SUNDAY

Now, I really wasn’t planning to do anything today, except hear mass and do some writing in the evening. But of course, plans can change and I’m learning to be more spontaneous this time. My best friend, Toni, is finally back from his GX trip (more details at his blog, for sure), and we met up for a yummy (but surely fattening haha) dinner at Flaming Wings. He has pictures so I can’t share yet, but it was a definitely a great way to end the long weekend.

And tomorrow is Monday again. Sigh. Okay, I really don’t mind, although I’m kind of worried at how much work we’ll be facing tomorrow and the next week. But we shall endure. It will be okay. Plus, I have another trip to look forward to this weekend — Cebu trip with friends! :) Yay! I know I said I’d return the following year after I went there recently, but two years isn’t that bad, right? Remind me to write an itinerary — any suggestions? :)

Oh well. Back to our different offices and technology jobs tomorrow! Have a great week, everyone! :)

On which I welcome pain

I have  confession to make.

I haven’t been working out as much as I used to.

Eep!

I wished I looked as fit as this woman...but no.

I can’t remember when it started exactly, but I think it started after I got sick last July. I didn’t go to the gym much because I was battling with my lungs thanks to asthma. It was followed by a particularly good bout of fitness thanks to the Rexona Race, where my body fat % went down to 25%, the lowest it’s ever been in so far. Then I started feeling this weird pain on my ankle after I ran again on the treadmill after the race. So I took it easy for a while to make sure my ankle is okay (which reminds me, I still need to go and have them checked).

The problem with this is my schedule. I have no problems with my gym schedule for day shift because I take classes after work, and I get more work outs then. My newer mid shift schedule makes it a bit of a problem, because it’s late, and there are no classes past 1:00pm at the gym, so I end up running. And since I can’t really run because of my ankle pain…what else can I do?

I used to work out 4-5 times a week, but now I’m happy if I hit 3. Remember my laziness last Monday because it’s a holiday? Yeah, that kind of extended almost all week.

Ugh.

After binging on Ben and Jerry’s Peanut Butter Cup ice cream last Sunday (OH MY LORD THE ICE CREAM GOODNESS!), I gave in to my conscience and hit the gym hard yesterday. It’s a good thing it’s a holiday in the US yesterday so I had an excuse to go to work early, so I managed to get a run and attend Body Jam in the afternoon, followed by six sets of ab workouts (yes, I’m crazy).

When I woke up this morning, I felt something I haven’t felt in the longest time: post-exercise pain.

Let me just say: oh how I missed thee!

It sounds crazy, I know, but it’s been a long while since I felt that. You the muscle pains you get after you work out, especially if you haven’t been doing so for a while? That kind of pain. That means my muscles are getting stronger, and after regularly exercising for the past few months, I rarely feel that now. Feeling that in my abs is a welcome thing, because I missed it, even if I can’t laugh so much because of it.

Earlier today, I was working out again and my abs screamed in agony as I was doing planks. Masochistic, I know, but after all the eating I’ve been doing for the past few weeks? Well, someone’s got to pay. I haven’t even done my whole program yet and everything is painful — what more if I did? Eep. Honestly, I would’ve done more if I had time today — if there were pull up bars there, I would’ve even attempted that. Or…okay fine, maybe not. :P Ah pain. You’re welcome, even if I complain about you.

I weighed myself earlier after two weeks or so of hiding from the scale. I’m glad to say that even if I did gain weight, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was. I can still do this. A good 10k race should do the trick, and proper diet, of course.

But first, get my ankle checked.

Fitness isn’t an easy road, and frankly, I’m getting tired of being a gym rat, but I can’t back down now after all that I’ve lost. There is no way I am going back there. Nope, no way.

Of course, the presence of this isn’t helping:

Omnomnomnom Pastel! ♥ Thanks Anj! :)

Ah well. :)

It's a Holiday and I'll do what I want

In a day, it’s September. Cliche, yes, but I need to say it for the nth time in this blog: where did time go?

It’s a holiday and I’m at home, enjoying the fact that I don’t have much to do. I think I may need to work later, but no pressure for myself, because it’s a holiday and I can do anything I want to. I am supposed to fix my books and clean my room (sort of)…but guess who isn’t moving right now.

But anyway, like I said, it’s a holiday and I can do anything. Or not do anything. At least, until later.

So I’m trying to remember how I was a year before, and what I was doing at this day. I have a blog entry last year about friends ditching each other, and wow, that’s a sad entry. I guess I was really sad then. And this is like, 27 days before the flood hit, and I was still clueless then. Not that I have a clue now, but I’d like to believe I know better now. Of course I know I’ll say that next year, too (I hope!), so this small realization just tells me that I still hope to get better every year.

I was thinking of hitting the gym today, but I am feeling lazy. Who knew I would say something like that now, when I used to be at the gym all the time last year? Maybe it’s because I know I’ve lost weight, and I know that I don’t need to burn everything in the gym and I can take it easy. Right now, I’d really rather read books so I can make a dent in my reading list, but I also still like to dance, and run. (So maybe I will dance later.) I still like to sweat, because if I don’t, I won’t be able to enjoy stuff like these:

And speaking of reading books, it’s just more awesome to read books when you have friends you can discuss them in detail with. I’ve written about meeting them here, and I’ve been seeing some of them randomly for the past few weeks, and it’s fun meeting them and talking about books, what we like, what to read and everything book-related all day long. Heaven, mehn, heaven. :) Awesome, awesome.

Which reminds me, I owe a few posts about our bookish adventures. We’ve watched a movie, went to a Comicon and a book launch and hung out for so long that my vocal chords are often so tired when I get home that I don’t want to speak (big surprise). It’s a wonder no one has attempted to sell books books to us. Heh.

Ah well. Changes are good. I am honestly afraid of looking at my goal lists for this year because I know I haven’t fulfilled much of them (driving and baking to name a few), but I think…I won’t pressure myself about that too much either. I mean, yeah, important, but it doesn’t mean my life would be ruined if I don’t get them this year, right? Might be inconvenienced…but not ruined.

I may be just sugarcoating things so excuse me. Or maybe I’m just hungry. So excuse me again. It’s a holiday and I’ll write what I want. :P

I think I’ll read, then if I feel like it, I’ll go dance later. If not, I can always dance tomorrow. Everyone have a great (and sunny!) Monday holiday. :)

Life Plans

Before anything else: I think I have a new food addiction.

Starbucks Coffee Jelly

Awesomely yummy coffee that perks me up. My diet is going to suffer/is suffering, but gosh this coffee is good. And after my realization about caffeine and me, I am consuming more. I don’t know if it’s just me PMS-ing, but coffee really perks me up, so I need one. In a day.

Oh dear.

Did I tell you how much I love the Dark Roast Coffee Jelly Frapp? Ahhh.

* * *

On another note. Today I went to work early to attend to a meeting with one of the big bosses at work. I’ve been blessed enough to be a part of a selected group of employees who get this privilege to meet the leaders of our company, so I’ve “met” a few. And you know what really and truly mystifies me about them right now? Their general disposition. Well, I can’t blame them for being so happy to travel and so seemingly relaxed because I know Filipinos take care of visitors very well. But it seems like their happiness is deeper. I’m not sure if they’re absolutely content with what they have or what they’re doing, but they look so relaxed, so clear-headed and so…cheerful. Whereas I need coffee to be cheerful. I’d imagine people on higher positions would be more stressed than I am, but they’re not. So. Mystifying.

Then again I don’t think you’d reach that position without being stressed at some point. And I don’t think it would be good if they’re still stressing over the little stuff when they’re in that position, right?

So anyway, one of the important things I learned today is this: have a career plan. But more importantly, I should have a life plan. Because a career plan is just for your career and a life plan is for your, well, life. That is your driving force, why you’re doing what you’re doing. And work is just a means to an end.

Which brings me to a deep question that I don’t have an answer just yet (and I have been trying to answer for the longest time!): what is my life plan?

Nope, no concrete answer to that, yet.

Which is probably why I’m in some sort of career crisis right now. Nothing serious, but lately I’ve been asking a question: Where am I heading? What am I doing? Is this still what I want? I love my company, I like my job, but I don’t know if I should still be doing this or if I should be doing something else. Frankly, sometimes I get bored already. And even if there are coming changes in the team, I still wasn’t excited about it. I’m more overwhelmed, actually, and I’m not sure if I even like it.

Which brings me to another thing I learned today: every risk should have enough push and pull before you take it. If there’s too much push and not enough pull, it means I’m running away. If there’s too much pull but not enough push, then maybe I’m being forced to move. It makes sense, right?

Maybe the reason why I am having a career crisis is because I haven’t figured out two important things, which were also brought up earlier: find out what you’re good at that you’ll be known for, and find your successor. If you ask me now, I do know what I’m good at, but I don’t know if it’s something I can use at work, or in my career, you know. I’d like to believe that my skills, or at least the things I know I am good at right now (writing, sort of managing, debugging, sort of project management) are somewhat valuable to my work. I’m just not sure if I could be known for them, if I’m good enough to be known for them.

And the successor thing. That I haven’t done. Am I worthy to have a successor? Perhaps.

I suddenly had this some sort of panic attack earlier this morning, when a scenario flashed in my mind. I can’t really blog about it, but it is related to work, and even if I know I’m heading to that, I’m not sure if I want that now. I don’t know if I’m ready for it, even if I know it’s going to give some excitement to my career. You know those things? Talk about panic, as in I could hardly breathe (it wasn’t the type where I’d need portable oxygen concentrator, but it was kind of scary) and I almost wanted to bury myself somewhere at home and not go anywhere.

Crazy.

I prayed after that panic attack of course (I love it that today’s reflection in My Utmost for His Highest was trusting in Him), and later on at the meeting, I was affirmed again when the boss said: If you worry about something too much, it won’t happen.

Makes sense, right?

It’s kind of a lot of think about now, but I’m really glad I attended that. It was almost like a breath of fresh air, you know?

So at the end of the day, I still don’t know what my life plan is. But I know that I’m not alone. And I am wiser right now than I was this morning. Which is a good thing, right?

I’d write more but I have a storyboard due tomorrow. So I leave you with this. For the first time this week, I am actually cheerful (but that may be just because of the coffee ^^ ).

3047886 Hahahaha, Hey Tina wag mo na lang pansinin yang mga yan, bangag pa yan kagabi. Flying cackroach, hhhhmmmnnn. Don’t worry I’ll always bring a baygon for you. hahahahaha. Ako ata ang bangag. ^_^

08.09.10

I can’t let this day pass without blogging on this particular date, of course.

So hello, 08.09.10!

I’m typing this while I eat my late, late dinner. This particular Monday is crazy because there just seemed to be so many things to do. Most of which are leftover from last week, which was also a busy week, and still, things come in and I go crazy trying to keep up. I haven’t been in sync for the past two weeks, really, and it’s frustrating because I keep on trying to catch up but I feel like I’m failing. It’s like trying to tear down a metal building with my bare hands. Okay, that’s an exaggeration, but it’s that frustrating.

Ah, stress. I don’t want to complain about you, but I really wish I can catch up. Please don’t make this Monday be like the rest of the week.

On another, more positive note…wait. Okay, there are positive points to this day despite the stress…but unfortunately, they’re kind of unbloggable. ^^; Sorry friends, those are things I’d really rather keep to myself. If you want to know, you know how to reach me. It doesn’t mean I’ll tell you, but you can try. :)

Ah well. I should get back to eating so I can finish whatever I can finish today. By God’s grace, I will conquer this. Amen.

One more thing.

Happy birthday, Marvs!

Happy birthday Marvs! :)

I will run this race

So. The Rexona Run was my secnd 10k run, and I wanted to be ready. My brother, his girlfriend and I registered early and I have been training for it for it ever since we registered. I know I can run 10k, but I wanted to at least try beat my personal record of 1:17:16.

Thing is, about two weeks before the run, I had a bout of asthma. Wait, change that — not a simple bout, but an almost week-long asthma that I wasn’t sure if I would be able to run properly. I couldn’t even try to run on the treadmill without running after my breath. Ahh it was so frustrating.

But still. The run was actually…good.

So! In bullets!

  • For the first time, we were actually early for the race. We arrived at the MOA grounds just before the 21k runners left, so there was plenty of time to warm up and prepare for our gun start.
  • I noticed that there were more 10k runners this time. I figure those who started out with 5k are now running 10k now, like me.
  • My Nike+ didn’t start properly as the race started, so there the data is kind of inaccurate. I think I need to calibrate it once again. The time is 2 minutes off, but I ran farther? Unless it’s really not 10k? Or something. I like how my graph looked, though:
  • If you’re wondering why that’s so squiggly, I decided to follow my brother’s strategy: to just run at a certain pace and slow down every now and then, but not really slow down. I have a feeling that every time the graph dips it’s a water station. I slow down there because (1) I don’t want to slip and (2) I had to get a drink. By the fourth water station though, I had to skip it because I felt that I needed to pee. And we know what happens when I run and I need to pee. :o It’s a good thing I skipped because the only portalets were at the end of the race.
  • Longest last stretch ever. When I saw the last 1km mark, I was excited and I thought I could run the entire kilometer already. But when I turned to the street, I realized that the finish line was so far away! :( I only ran again after there was about 200 meters left, after a college friend called out my name.
  • I love the quotes at each marker — funny and inspiring at the same time. I think this post summarizes that well.
  • But I have the most unglamorous running shots. I should learn how to project when it comes to running photos. This may be the best shot I have among the photos:

    Well look who loves running.
  • Official time: 1:15:12. That’s two minutes off my first 10k, friend. I just broke my personal record (and raised my muscle mass without noxycut — I haven’t been lifting weights, but my muscles went up after the run).

One last, but I won’t put it in bullets: I just found the best running play list ever, at least for me. I discovered it one time while I was running on the treadmill. Break Free by Hillsong United played, I suddenly felt energized. It’s been a while since I last listened to them, and I realized that if there was any song that I needed to listen to when I run, it’s got to be about the One who’s made me run. The One who made this body to run. Who am I running for, anyway?

I think that was what made this race better than the previous one: I spent almost the entire run in prayer. The songs helped, and I even broke into song every now and then while I was running. There was this lightness in my heart, a voice inside me that tells me I can do it, and tells me that He is pleased with me. It was almost like a mountain-top experience, and I loved that I got to talk to God for almost a whole hour. Running can be a spiritual experience, and I proved that during the last run.

So will I run again? Of course. I’m planning to just keep doing 10k (and maybe 15k once) for the rest of the year and then maybe, maybe break into 21k by next year. I just need to make sure I’m conditioned for that length.

Yeah, I will keep running this race, these races. Thank You Lord for giving me running so I can see Your glory. :)

Household Management

I wonder how she does it.

My mom left to visit our dad in Saipan more than a month ago, which left me in charge of the household stuff at home. I wasn’t really that stressed over it because I know I can handle it, and she’d be back before we know it. That, and my mom was in Saipan for almost three months last time, and we managed just fine. No biggie, right?

Well, it’s been almost five weeks, and honestly? I’m tired. I’m not really sure why, especially since we have household help now, and having her around solved the problem of what to eat, especially early in the morning when I have to prepare to work, or when it’s late and I’m tired and I wanted something home cooked. But still, I can’t help but think about the stuff at home — like do we have enough to eat? Did I pay everything I have to pay for? Add that with my work, my gym time, and everything else that I had to deliver…well, it’s kind of crazy. What exhausted me more, I think, is handling the budget.

I think I am pretty good at handling budget, but I totally forgot how many bills that my mom keeps track of. I only keep track of three credit cards, one phone bill and two insurances, and I feel that’s a lot already…but now that I handled the bills at home, all I can say is wow. So many things to pay for, so many things to consider in the budget! It’s a good thing I’m not studying anymore, because I honestly have no idea how my parents can fit in all those expenses! Sometimes I feel like I can’t even budget my own money — what more for them, when they’re still providing some stuff for us?

But I guess that’s what my parents, especially my mom, is gifted at. Managing the household. Making sure everything is running. Making sure we’re all full, safe, and provided for. Seeing how I prefer so many luxuries now, I don’t know if I’ll ever reach their level of unselfishness.

Ah well. I have one more week left of handling the household, and then my mom will be home, finally.No wonder I’m so stressed, and why my skin is breaking out (pretty soon I’ll have to look for best acne treatment to get rid of these). Tomorrow…or I mean later, I’m taking the time off to treat myself. There’s no stopping me.

And before I go: I miss you Ma! :)

Antagonism

My friend Gel and I were talking yesterday after she said something about Facebook delivering bad news to her about some friends. After learning the news, I felt sad too because they were also my friends. :( Then we got to discussing other situations, which ended up with us talking about how we are as friends and how we were as Christians.

Sometimes I can’t help but feel like I’m an antagonist, especially when it comes to other people’s relationships. Like, say, if a friend got into a relationship too hastily. Or if a friend is leaving other people for a guy or a girl. Or if a friend is too focused on something that he/she is missing other things in the process. I hope I’m not being selfish, but sometimes I just get this gut feel that something isn’t right, or something will not turn out right. Ever had that feeling? Sometimes I’d like to think I’m prophetic. It’s not exact science like Phentermine 37.5; sometimes I think I just happen to have good instincts.

Anyway, I can’t help but feel bad about feeling those things though. I feel those things because I am concerned, but I never had the guts to say them out loud, in fear of being labeled as jealous, or again, an antagonist. Kontra bida. Sometimes I wonder if I feel those things because I am just envious of their situation (especially when it comes to love related matters), or if there is really sound reason to why I am feeling that way. Still, I never had the guts to voice those concerns out loud. More often than not, I end up hiding, because I don’t know if I can talk to the person without saying anything wrong. When things fall apart, I am always there to help my friend…but sometimes I wonder if that is too late. If I had said something before, would it have lessened the blow to my friend?

I don’t think I’ll ever know the answer. But the thing I always, always have to remember is it’s better to be loving than to be right. I think I just have to remember and discern which is the more loving thing to do than what is right. If there’s anything that I should do first, it’s to love. Doesn’t matter if I’m wrong or the other person is wrong, or whatever. I must always, always choose to love.

Because in the long run, whatever they are going through, whatever junk they have stored, I know I have something in me, too, that is junk. Maybe even bigger than theirs. So I really have no right whatsoever to say what is right; I can only just love.

Reposting a quote from an old post, because it fits:

“And remember this…the junk in your life and the junk in [his] life aren’t really all that different when you compare them to the holiness of the One who forgives them both. They’re both just pretty much junk.”
– Jake Phillips to his daughter Savannah, Savannah by the Sea, p. 256

Have a blessed Wednesday, everyone.