Category Archives: In His Steps

In His Steps

Ask

prayerThis week, I’ve been trying my best to be consistent in my prayer time. It’s a struggle, especially since I was on day shift last week, and it’s kind of tempting to skip praying when I wake up a bit late, or to read tweets and Facebook updates instead of opening my Bible. I know, right? Life is so simple before all these social networking stuff.

But anyway, I tried harder this week, and it’s funny how much I heard from God this week — it’s like He’s so eager to talk to me.

And you know what, maybe He is. :)

So today’s Gospel was all about asking.

Until now you have not asked anything in my name; ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be complete. (John 16:24)

Asking. It seems so easy, but I realize that more often than not, I never asked for specifics from God. I always asked for His will, I always asked for something general. Maybe I’m too lazy to think about it, maybe it’s because I don’t know what to ask for. I’m not really sure, but yes, more often than not, I fail to ask. Sure, it’s always good to ask for God’s will, but I have to remember that my God delights in my asking. Of course, He may not give everything I ask for (I doubt He’d give me bpi training, but who knows), but He’s working on me as He says no (or more often than not, wait).

So, I asked. I wrote them all down this morning, and while nothing earth-shattering happened today (save for my shopping trip), asking gave me hope, and asking gave me assurance that God heard me, and He is working on me, and He will give me what I ask for, that my joy will be complete. In His perfect time, of course.

What about you? What would you ask for?

Dear Diary, In His Steps

Bear Much Fruit

waitingSo just the other day, a couple of girl friends and I were having another sentimental moment and the focus? Our lack of romance in our lives, of course.

Yeah, it’s always that.

Sometimes it’s just frustrating, you know. There are a lot of times when being single is fun — spending money on ourselves and family, going on trips, and other single people stuff. You have more time, and you can do things without having to ask permission from someone, yadda, yadda, yadda. The usual stuff, you know.

But sometimes, it’s just hard to keep on waiting, you know. Like I said so many times, especially when there’s no one on the horizon. And there’s no one who seems to be making an effort, or when there’s no one to like. Or when whoever you like doesn’t like you back. And it’s especially hard when everyone around you seems to be in a relationship, and your friends are starting to have their own love lives…and it feels like no matter how much you make an effort — like dress better, lose weight through natural weight loss products, be available and all that — it seems like nothing is paying off. I can list more reasons why it’s hard, but if you’re single and have been single for the longest time, you know what I mean. How long must I wait, Lord?

And so the emo moments continued. I’m better now, because I’m not yet PMS-ing (watch out when I do, haha), and I did have some good talks with a lot of friends about this yet again. I have another post sometime about some other things like envy, but I thought I’d share how God affirmed me of my current position in life.

In today’s Gospel, Jesus said this to his disciples:

You did not choose me. I chose you and sent you out to produce fruit, the kind of fruit that will last. Then my Father will give you whatever you ask for in my name. (John 15:16)

I’ve memorized this verse way back in college, but it didn’t make sense to me until now. When I think about it, it’s true: I didn’t choose to be in this situation, God chose for me to be here. He led me here, not to be a cruel God, or to hold something out for me, but because He wants me to produce fruit that will last. I could try to go another way just so I can get what I want, but it’s not going to last because it’s not from God. It makes sense!

Okay for a more concrete answer. I get sad, I get lonely a lot of times because I have no boyfriend. Yes, I’m saying this out: I want to fall in love and be in a relationship. Maybe there’s something I can do just so I can have one now, I can have one soon, but would it last? Is it forever? Would the fruit of what I would do on my own last?

My friend Jana asked me this yesterday: what would you rather be: someone who’s had a number of boyfriends but didn’t last, or single since birth? I realized that my answer is still the latter, because as much as there’s so many experiences in having a lot of exes, I can’t imagine having to go through the hurt of breaking up and ending relationships over and over again. Maybe I’m being idealistic, but I’d really rather settle down when it’s with the right person than go through trial and error with wrong people, right?

So fruit that doesn’t last, or the one that lasts?

Besides, this sadness isn’t forever, ergo, the waiting shouldn’t be forever, too, right? I mean, Jesus did promise that our mourning will turn into joy:

I tell you for certain that you will cry and be sad, but the world will be happy. You will be sad, but later you will be happy. (John 16:20)

Happy thoughts for the weekend. :)

Dear Diary, In His Steps

On Judgments and TV Personalities

I’m on day shift again this week, so my gym schedule is back to after work. I don’t mind, except that it’s kind of a hassle to go to work in proper work clothes and end up sweating because of the heat. But oh well, I’m used to it, I think. Better the heat than the floods, right?

So last night, I got home a few minutes before ten, and I managed to catch a few minutes of TV before getting a late dinner. My mom arrived, then, and it was just in time for Pinoy Big Brother Teen Clash of 2010. Last night’s episode was about Shey’s eviction, and Tricia’s reaction to what she found out about nomination conspiracy against her. I didn’t really have much information on what happened in the past three weeks because I barely had the time to watch, but I do know that most people don’t like Tricia, and they really want her out (but of course, she still gets the most votes every week since she’s been nominated — familiar much? Hello, Wendy?).

I was fixing dinner when my mom said, “Kawawa naman si Tricia.” (Poor Tricia.)

All I said in reply was, “Eh masama naman daw talaga ugali ni Tricia eh.” (Tricia really has a bad attitude)

To which my mom replied, “Eh pwede naman nila sabihin sa kanya yun.” (They could have told her about it)

I didn’t have a snarky reply to it after, because truth be told, it made me think. I always prayed about being loving, about holding my tongue and stopping myself from being judgmental or saying things about people because I’m just as dirty and sinful as the next person. I’m not saying I don’t say anything bad about another person because it’s a lie; I’m saying I try. I try to be more loving even if I don’t feel like it, I try to hold my tongue, I try to do what Jesus would do.

Last night’s conversation about someone on TV made me think: how far should this effort to be loving extend to? I remember back in college, Tuesday shared in a household that she prayed to be more loving to everyone she meets — from the person in the library that she barely knows to her closest friends. I understand that…but what about TV personalities? Actors? Actresses? People in reality TV shows? I mean, yes, they’re put in a controlled environment, and we are only shown what the producers/directors want to show to make the ratings go higher (so they can get better life insurance online quote? Just kidding :) ), but they are still people too. People who need love, even if it’s from a complete stranger like me.

I’ve been mulling over this early this morning as I commuted to work, and honestly, I still don’t have an actual, concrete answer. Except that I know that if I were in their place, I wouldn’t want people to judge me for whatever they are only seeing on screen. I couldn’t even take it when people stick to their first impressions and have no room to change their minds, what more if we never really had a chance to talk?

I guess…the pursuit of being loving, of being a true follower of Christ is really not just limited to the people near me, but really to everyone. It’s not a new thing, come to think of it. Last night’s short conversation with my mom reminded me that…and told me to be more careful with my judgments and my words. Yes, even with TV personalities.

After all, actors and actresses (and reality TV contestants) are people, too.

Dear Diary, In His Steps

Be Strong and Take Heart

The worst time to feel lonely and unwanted and left behind is when a girl has her period. Agree?

I do. Because I’m feeling that right now. :(

I’d rather not divulge any specific details because it’s too personal, but yes, I’m lonely right now. My heart is not still, I’m afraid, and I’m angry at myself for being selfish and discontented and wanting what others have (or are about to have) when I don’t. I want to be a brat and hide in my shell until all these emotions are gone and I’m over it, and I can go back to my normal, smiling self again.

Bah, hormones! I wish chocolates can easily help me with this but it doesn’t anymore. I wish I could just go for a run but it’s too late already. And no, I’m not interested in medicines, not even something like irvingia gabonensis. I’m sorry, I’m just sad.

Sigh.

So in an effort to pick myself up…I listened to some songs. And I Will Lift My Eyes by Bebo Norman hits just the right spot. Lyrics below, emphasis mine:

I Will Lift My Eyes
Bebo Norman
Album: Between the Dreaming and The Coming True

God, my God, I cry out
Your beloved needs You now
God, be near calm my fear and take my doubt
Your kindness is what pulls me up
Your love is all that draws me in

I will lift my eyes to the Maker
of the mountains I can’t climb
I will lift my eyes to the Calmer
of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the Healer
of the hurt I hold inside
I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You

God, my God, let mercy sing
her melody over me
and God, right here all I bring
is all of me
Your kindness is what pulls me up
Your love is all that draws me in

‘Cause You are and You were and You will be forever
the Lover I need to save me
‘Cause You fashioned the earth and You hold it together, God
so hold me now

God, my God, I cry out
Your beloved needs You now

Lift your eyes, Tina.

I leave you with this image I got from Tumblr, and find comfort in the verse. Be strong and take heart. Your heart is stronger than mine, Lord.

Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.

I’ll be okay. :) But if you can spare a prayer, I’d really appreciate it. :)

In His Steps

"Let's Party!"

Yesterday at Easter Sunday mass, the priest said something very nice during the Homily:

Easter is God’s way to telling us with a smile, “Let’s party!”

I agree, don’t you think? :)

* * *

There’s something about this year’s Lent that is a bit different from last year. Okay, make it a lot different. Last year, I ended Lent and the Holy Week feeling a lot regretful, and even remorseful because of all the things that I did and didn’t do. Last year, I felt like a Peter. I was uncomfortable, but I didn’t accept it because I felt like all the things I worked for, all the things I planned didn’t happen and it annoyed me. I really did end the Holy Week more uncomfortable and humble, but I still had a hard time connecting with God because I was resisting. And I realized then that when I resist, boy I do resist.

So this year, I didn’t exactly promise to be better. I remember promising as Lent started that I will be more open this year. I will try, and I know I will fail, but I will keep on trying. It was the first time I fasted from something that I really love (which was really harder than it was!), and this was also the first time that I told myself to keep an open mind. I was a bit nervous for the Holy Week, because I wasn’t sure what was going to happen, and truth be told, I asked God to not make me cry. Hah, like that would happen.

Anyway. My Triduum was quiet. Wednesday night, my mom and brother and I watched The Book of Eli, then Thursday was the usual mass, followed by a night of silence because cable went out. Friday was spent in Bisita Iglesia, and followed by the Veneration of the Cross and Communion, which was the point of resistance for me last year. This year, I really prayed for an open heart, and found myself opening up to the experience. I realized that it may not be convenient, it may be hot inside the church…but as they say, the best time to be uncomfortable is during Holy Week. And it was definitely uncomfortable, but I was able to somehow relive Christ’s passion (less the gory images, of course) and realize yet again how much Jesus loved us, loved me.

Until now, my heart is having the difficulty trying to fathom all of this. How could one man save us from our sins? How could the death of one man do so much? But I guess that’s the mystery of it, that it’s really something that my puny heart and mind cannot and will not ever understand, at least until I get to His Kingdom. He’s not asking me to understand, anyway, He’s just asking me to believe. Sometimes I admit that it may be easy to just not believe because I honestly don’t think my mind can comprehend it fully…but going down the path of non-belief feels like a dark and dreary and lonely path that I would never ever go down that. I’d rather sell my timeshare and give up everything else than decide not to believe in God’s love and mercy.

One of the things I realized over the weekend one of the reasons (or effects?) on why I’m struggling so much right now. I wanted clarity. I feel so unsettled because although I know that God is always there, I had a hard time believing that He actually was. I have so many plans, so many dreams that I am always afraid of them not being fulfilled. I have so many questions that I don’t know how to answer or what the answer is, and in that fear, I just chose to stop asking. The reason why I wanted to keep on going back my college time is that it’s my mountain top. It’s the time when I knew I was so connected with God that never a day goes by without me knowing something about Him, without me hearing something from Him. Right now, all I can hear is static, and I know it’s not because He’s not speaking — it’s because I’m not listening.

I’m not sure if I’m explaining it correctly. What I learned in the past three days is that if I want to get some kind of clarity, I’ve got to connect. And for me to connect, well I’ve got to pray. I’ve complained and struggled about my prayer time, but I admit to never really doing anything about it…until now. I can’t remember if I blogged about fighting for my heart and all, but I’ve got to recognize that if I wanted to be connected to God, and to know His will and to hear His word…well, I’ve got to fight for it. I’ve got to assurance that it is a won battle, but it doesn’t mean I have to stop fighting. I need to fight for my relationship with God, I need to fight for my prayer time, because I’m pretty sure that He is fighting for it, too.

So by God’s grace, I’m trying again — this time, it’s for real. I will try, and I will fail, but I will keep on trying. I’ve missed Him for too long, and this Lent has reminded me that Jesus died because He couldn’t bear the thought of me not being with Him in Heaven…and I can’t let that go to waste. He loved me this much, and I can’t just ignore that. I can’t.

* * *

To celebrate Easter Sunday, my family and I headed to Bonifacio High Street at my request to check out Church Simplified‘s Walkway. Suffice to say that it was a great idea, and I’m glad we went through it even if it was really hot. I have a lot of pictures that I have to upload, and if you missed the Walkway, make sure you go there next year if they have it again because it’s definitely a new way to experience the Passion, Death and Resurrection of Jesus. :)

This part at the last station spoke to me a lot, and I hope I never forget this:

Never let familiarity breed contempt

* * *

One last before I head home! I rekindled my love for one of my favorite Holy Week songs over the weekend: I See Love by Third Day, Steven Curtis Chapman and Mercy Me.

Some see a prisoner, alone before his judge
With no one to defend him
Some see a victim, beaten and abused
With all the world against him
Some see a martyr, carrying his cross
For what he believes
Some see a hero who set his people free…

But I see love, I see love
Light of heaven breaking through
Well I see grace, I see God’s face
Shining pure and perfect love
When I see you

With your last breath, I see love
Through your death, I see love
I see peace in the eyes of the king
I see hope in your suffering (I see love)
I see a calm in the center of the storm
I see a Saviour…

Some see Him walking from an empty grave.

Happy Easter everyone. ♥

Dear Diary, In His Steps

The A-Word

ALLELUIA!

Okay, I’ve been silent for three days, and I never thought it would be this hard. I mean, lat year was definitely harder, but this year there were so many things that I wanted to write, so many things I wanted to say via Facebook and Twitter and Tumblr, but because of my fast from the Internet, I couldn’t.

But let me just say it again, because Easter is such a joyful occasion:

ALLELUIA!

I’ll post a longer post tomorrow because I should go to bed because I’m on day shift tomorrow. But let me just say: I think this has been one of the most meaningful Holy Weeks I’ve ever had. :) And I’m glad.

Thank You, Jesus. :)

Dear Diary, In His Steps

No More What-If's

day twenty-eight.

You know what’s one of the worst questions to ask right after you made a decision that you can’t back out of?

What if.

There is nothing more annoying/saddening than wondering what things could have been if you had chosen another path, or made another decision, or didn’t make a choice at all. What if I didn’t accept this job and look for another, would I be happier? What if I didn’t say this thing, would we have avoided the fight? What if I didn’t take this appetite suppressant, would I have been less sick now? What if there was really something that could have happened between us…maybe I shouldn’t let go?

Ah life, with all it’s uncertainties. It’s really enough to drive a person insane.

Why did I bring this up? Let’s just say…I have some questions. Or had them. They weren’t very big, those questions, but they’re enough to disrupt the peace that I long to keep in that particular aspect of my life. Sorry, I mean to elaborate, but I don’t want to divulge everything because it’s not really something to be blogged about for the entire world to read. Let’s just say they were questions that I didn’t mean to ask, but ended up asking because of what was happening, but now it feels like I’ll never find the answer. Or I won’t know the answer just yet, and I’m made to wait again.

It’s okay, really. I’m okay. Strangely, the same thing happened to me before and I was more devastated then. I wasn’t a wreck, but it definitely saddened me, and it took me a while before I could recover. This time…I guess being wary about things helped, and of course, I have a very great group of friends who listened to me…and now, I think I bounced back faster.

But you know something else?

I’d like to believe that God is bigger than any of my questions. There’s something humbling about choosing to stop asking “what if?” and just moving on. I’d like to believe that when I choose to stop questioning this step I took, it’s also a way for me to let go of the situation, hand it to God and let Him do the work instead of me. After all, He is infinitely wiser than I am. :)

So…yup, no more what’ ifs. :) Starting today, I’m going to stop asking. I’ll just trust that this is a part of His will. :)

In His Steps

Absolved

day twenty-six.

So here’s another attempt to blog using my iPod, because I don’t have any of my laptops with me. Right now I’m sitting at Starbucks in Robinson’s Galleria, eating dinner and waiting for my brother. My feet are aching from all the department store shopping I did. I’m happy about my purchases but my stingy side is angry at me for spending so much today (but at least it’s not as much as spending for Branson vacations) .

Just another day in the life of Tina.

Or wait. Not really.

I missed Earth Hour this year, because I was stuck in the mall. Some stores participated, but the rest of the mall didn’t. I guess it would be weird and chaotic if the entire mall turned off their lights? Then again I know SM Malls participated. Anyway, I didn’t feel Earth Hour, obviously, because I didn’t spend an hour in almost total darkness, like last year. Almost, because our TV was tuned in to NatGeo last year during Earth Hour. Next year I’m making sure I’m home then. Or at least, be in a place that participated so I can join in the unity and whatnot.

Today I also met up with my friend Cors at Greenbelt. We had lunch at Recipes, dessert at Gelatissimo (Hazelnut gelato! ♥), and shopped at Landmark — all with girl talk, of course! But those things were just side trips. The real highlight of our day is our confession at the Greenbelt chapel.

There was a time when I told myself I’d go to confession every month. Then it became every other month. However, I was only comfortable to go to confession at one place, at the Greenbelt chapel. I don’t know why – maybe it’s the peacefulness of the chapel even if it’s in the midst of a busy mall? Anyway, I’m ashamed to admit that I never got to do the confess every month thing, or every other month, because Greenbelt is too far. But I try as much as possible to go to confession before Holy Week comes around.

I won’t go discuss what happened inside anymore (of course), but let me just say this: a huge load was lifted off my shoulder when the priest said, “I absolve you in the Name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. You are forgiven, go in peace and sin no more.” Okay, those may not have been the exact words, but that’s the gist of it. I felt lighter, and refreshed, like everything is right with the world again.

And maybe it is, you know? After all, I have been forgiven. I know, we can all ask forgiveness from God directly, and there’s really no need to go to a priest to confess your sins…but doesn’t it feel so much better when someone tells you that you are forgiven? Someone who Jesus has appointed and has given authority to hear confession and absolve people who want to repent?

But I’m not here to talk about the theology of the Sacrament of Reconciliation. If you want to read about that, go to Lifeteen or BustedHalo – they have answers and explanations for you. What I want to talk about, really, is it feels good to be clean. To be new. It feels good to be forgiven. To know that God has poured His mercy on you and all your sins are washed away, forgotten because He has forgiven you. My puny heart and mind can’t understand how His grace and mercy works, but I won’t refuse it. Who am I to refuse that gift?

Tomorrow is the start of Holy Week. Last year, I had a very different Holy Week, and I posted about all my struggles then. This year…I’m going to try and be open. And I’m going to try to be still and listen. I will try and ask God for the grace to see Him and feel Him and hear Him this week, as I reflect on the greatest act of love ever. And I hope that this week, I find Him again.

Whoever you are who’s reading this post, I hope you find Him this coming week. I’m sure He can’t wait for you, too. :)

Dear Diary, In His Steps

Letting Go

day twenty-five.

Today, I was browsing through my Multiply and saw this poem that I posted, from my friend Sam’s LJ:

You Must Accept
by Kate Light

You must accept that’s who he really is.
You must accept that you cannot be his
unless he can be yours. No compromise.
He is a canvas on which paint never dries;
a clay that never sets; he’s steel that bends
in a breeze; he’s a melody that when it ends
no one can whistle; he is not who
you thought. He’s not. He is a shoe
that walks away: “I will not go where you
want to go.” “Why, then, are you a shoe?”
“I’m not. I have the sole of a lover
but don’t know what love is.” “Discover
it, then.” “Will I have to go where you go?”
“Sometimes.” “Be patient with you?” “Yes.” “Then, no.”
You have to hear what he is telling you
and see what he is; how it is killing you.

I remember the first time I read this, it struck me straight to the heart, like this was especially written for me. I’m exaggerating, maybe, a bit. But you know, when you’re at the height of an emotion, everything hits you, hard. Every song, every letter, every movie, every story, every poem. It just speaks to you.

That happened to me a year ago. Or something like that. But when I read this poem now, I still feel the sadness that it’s meant to convey…but it doesn’t hit me as hard anymore. It’s nice to know that you’ve moved on from something, that you’re okay, that you don’t dwell on whatever it is that happened anymore. It’s so liberating to finally let things go.

I remember a question I used to ask back in college: how do you really let go? Is there a process, like in making birth announcements? What steps do I take? What to do, who to talk to, can I cry? What if I don’t want to let it go? What if I can’t let it go? Is this God’s will? Why is God making me do this? Doesn’t He know this is hurting?

I once compared letting something go to a garden. There are flowers and there are weeds. God wants me to pull out the weeds, but I don’t because I think it’s already pretty enough. But God wants something better for me, so He urges me to pull out the weeds even if I don’t want to. If I don’t pull out the weeds, the real flowers choke, and die, and I’d be left with weeds. They may be pretty, but in the end, they really don’t do anything.

It’s never easy. Believe me, I know. It’s never easy when the thing you’re being asked to let go of is something (or someone) you really like (or love). It’s also silly to know that sometimes there are things that you find hard to let go of is something that you don’t really like or love as much as you thought — it’s just something or someone you’ve gotten used to. Or it’s something or someone that you think there might be something, but not sure just yet.

Did that make sense?

Letting go is hard. Don’t believe it when other people tell you it’s not. It requires an everyday effort. It doesn’t happen overnight.

But if it’s any comfort, God never asks us to let go of something if it wasn’t in our best interest. He never asks us to let go of something if He doesn’t have something better for us. He is a loving Father, and He wouldn’t ask us to say goodbye to something just out of spite. And if your heart breaks in the process…well, sometimes God has to break our hearts little by little so when He heals it, it’s big enough to handle what He wants to give us. :)

Have a great weekend, everyone. Holy Week is just around the corner — it’s time to reflect on His love once again. :)

Dear Diary, In His Steps

Aftershocks

day twenty-four.

Today was sort of kind of freaky in different levels, almost like 2012 movie like freaky. That, and bad memories of the flood — yeah, I’m pretty shaken right now.

I got to work this afternoon a bit earlier than the usual, because of the scheduled fire drill for today. I was glad to have arrived before the said time of the fire drill, and I was planning to buy food as soon as we go down for the drill, just so I won’t run into any hassles. Then, my teammate asks, “Nararamdaman niyo yun?” (Can you feel it?)

Apparently, there was an earthquake.

And the building was swaying. For a long time.

With all the earthquakes that happened in the past months (Haiti, Chile), it’s very scary to be suddenly feeling an actual earthquake. Honestly, it doesn’t faze me as much, even before, because I know that the buildings here are kind of safe. But that earthquake was long…and well, just plain scary.

A few hours later, I had to attend a meeting for my boss, and it was about our account’s business continuity planning. The fancy term just means the plan in case something big – ex. a calamity – happens that prevents us from going to work, or doing work. Anyway, there was a simulation in the meeting where we simulate an event where the plan was activated…and guess what the situation was? A typhoon, with a flood.

Hello, hurricane.

Needless to say, I was creeped out. Sometimes I think I’m already over the entire flooding event, but whenever I’m reminded that there is a big possibility that it could happen again…it just scares me. I know it’s selfish of me to not wish for rain…but I can’t help it. I’m scared of it, at least, any type of typhoon, now. I’m terrified of the thought that it may happen again, that we might see our house submerged in flood all over again. They say it’s a hundred-year flood, meaning it won’t happen in another hundred years…but how sure are they about that? What if another typhoon comes and drops huge amounts of rain on us…what if?

I don’t think I blogged about it, but a couple of weeks ago, we had a fire scare at home, so we had to turn off the electricity at home to have it checked. As I was going around the house in darkness with my iPod flashlight, packing my stuff, I was reminded of that day a few months ago, when I went around the house in darkness with my iPod flashlight, and rain was pouring outside, and my feet were underwater. It was scary.

I have to trust God that He would protect us again…but in a way, I can’t help but wish for something concrete, something that I can actually hold on to that would tell me that we wouldn’t have to go through what happened that September day.

I’m still shaken at the thought of experiencing the flood again and yes, even the earthquake…but worrying about things like this is a waste of time. I need to stop doing that, and I need to turn my eyes to the One who holds today and tomorrow and eternity. I need to turn my eyes to Him and give all my fears to Him and trust that He will take care of us. He will protect us. Trust and believe that He is bigger than anything in this world.

I guess that’s faith, you know. That’s what it is about having faith and trusting God and all that — trusting that He will protect you even in the midst of all uncertainties. In calamities like these, I can only do so much, and in the end God still has the final say (Come to think of it, He always has the final say). Having faith means believing that He will carry you through even if you don’t know what will happen. It means trusting Him in the darkness — figuratively and literally. It means believing that God will be enough, and He will enable me to make it through.

*breathes deeply*

It’s been a while since I last posted this on a blog entry, but if you can spare a prayer for me, please do. Help me pray for peace, because I think that’s one thing I really, really need right now.