I’ve been so post happy last week, with PayPerPost and BlogToProfit demanding me to blog (okay, PPP didn’t demand me to blog, but I chose to blog because I wanted to get the big paying ones) more than one entry everyday. To be honest, I feel quite guilty filling this blog with ad posts; it’s like I’m violating some code that I don’t know. Even if I do choose which ads to blog about, sometimes I decide to take up something that I don’t really know (like hair replacement, for example) just because of their price. Then again, at least I get some writing exercise — the more ads I post, the more creative I try to be. No wonder I feel kind of drained from blogging.
But I’m still blogging. Obviously the drained part doesn’t faze me.
To be completely honest, the reason I’m blogging right now is because I feel unsettled. I just received some news through email (on an autoreply email, of all things) that got me feeling kind of worried and wondering if I did the right thing at the right time. I seemed like the right thing yesterday, but after reading that email, I was like, should I have waited? However, if I waited, then the opportunity willt pass me up, and I might forever regret that I didn’t take it. ((This is supposed to be for another entry)) But from the email, the technicalities seem to be against me. I find myself saying, “Well, that’s less than ideal.” Ala HRG/Noah Bennett on Heroes.
Less than ideal for me, that is.
So what do I do now?
I honestly have no idea.
Don’t you hate it when that happens?
Just a little while ago, I sent a text message to my friend Redg who knows what I am talking about right now, and his reply was: Yep. Nothing’s impossible. It really amazes me how God works in your life. Sometimes, it’s really hard to understand but I feel certain that you are secure in His care. Well, it amazes me how other people can have so much faith in me, in God’s plans for me and in my situations when I obviously lack. I’m thankful for that, really.
I need a spiritual booster. I want a faith like that. Or at least, the same kind of faith I have when I was praying for our thesis during my last term in college. The same kind of faith that helped me to believe that God will get me through. The same kind of faith that believed and knew that God will take care of me and everyone I care for and love. I want that kind of faith, the one that let everything go and believed.
A favorite singer once sang, Am I too wise to recognize that everything uncertain is certainly a possiblity? Simply put: Nothing is impossible with God. I know that, but I need to re-learn that again. Right now, nothing is absolutely certain, but everything’s possible. Should I allow myself to give up because of one technicality or just believe that if it’s in God’s will, it will happen, no matter what?
DUH. Do I even have to ask?
All that I can do is hold on to You, and follow where You lead, where You’re leading me. All that I can do is hold on to You, and let You lead me through is all that I can do. ((Thanks, Bethany.))
Help me believe, ’cause I don’t want to miss any miracle. ((Thanks, Nichole.))
“Because you’re not yet taking God seriously,” said Jesus. “The simple truth is that if you had a mere kernel of faith, a poppy seed, say, you would tell this mountain, ‘Move!’ and it would move. There is nothing you wouldn’t be able to tackle.” – Matthew 17:20 (The Message)