I’ve been meaning to read Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis for the longest time now but I’ve just read the first two chapters and stopped. I was feeling kind of low for the past days and I decided to pick this up and read a random chapter. Here’s what I read:
We may, indeed, be sure that perfect chastity — like perfect charity — will not be attained by any merely human efforts. You can ask for God’s help. Even when you have done so, it may seem to you for a long time that no help, or less help than you need is being given. Never mind. After each failure, ask forgiveness, pick yourself up, and try again. Very often what God first helps us towards is not the virtue itself but just this power of always trying again. For however important chastity (or courage, or truthfulness, or any other virtue) may be, this process trains us in habits of the soul which are more important still. It cures our illusions about ourselves and teaches us to depend on God. We learn, on one hand, that we cannot trust ourselves even in our best moments, and, on the other, we need not despair even in our worst for our failures are forgiven. The only fatal thing is to sit down content with anything less than perfection.
– Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis, p. 101-102 (emphasis mine)
Forgive me, Father, for relying too much on myself. I’m sorry for breaking your heart too many times. I’ve said this so many times but I still go back to where I started. I’m sorry dear Lord for taking back so many junk in my life. Please forgive me, and help me believe that You have made me clean. I ask for the strength to run away from temptation and not leave a forwarding address, and for the strength to stand up again when I have fallen. Help me to depend on nothing but You, not on my own strength but only in You. I want to love You better than this, Lord.