I meant to blog more this week. There was this other thing I was supposed to blog about, but after some events that happened and things I did today…well, it didn’t seem appropriate. And I am just not worthy to write about that…not now, not yet. Maybe next time.

Like tomorrow.

But on another note. Today is the 112th year of the Philippines’ independence. People would say we were never really free, and other people wonder why our foreign captors left us when we could have been better with them ruling us. Me? I’m happy we’re free. We’re not free in a lot of ways, and there’s so much more our country needs to be free from — corruption, poverty, to name a few — but we’re still free people. I wouldn’t want to be in a country where we can’t learn our own language, we can’t read what we want to read, or believe what we want to believe because the government or other external powers say we can’t. It’s just how we will use this freedom to help our fellow Filipinos that would make help the country truly be free.

I’m not sure I made sense there. Did I?

As with this holiday, it’s another long weekend. My plans fell through because of people getting sick, and I was supposed to be out earlier but work called. I wasn’t supposed to, but because I wanted to be sure everything will be okay on Monday and to lessen the workload for myself on Tuesday, I logged in, did some work and ended up not finishing it because the software I was using went under maintenance. Oh well.

So there’s no more plans this weekend, except read and write and read and write. So many thngs to read and write. I’m not complaining. Sometimes I wish I could read and write for a living, but honestly I think I’m too chicken to do so. This is reason why I’ve never had the courage to go to writing school. I realized just lately how my ego takes it. Case in point: I’ve been writing for The POC for the past few weeks, and sometimes I feel like I’m pulling teeth with my writing. I feel insufficient, I always feel like I lack the words to convey what I want to say. And I call myself a writer? Ugh. My editor is always nice when he returns edits, but sometimes I feel like I’m such a lousy writer that my articles are a pain to edit.

Pressure much? What’s funny is I’m an editor for something at work, too, and I do a lot of revising for articles other people do. And…well, I guess this gives me a chance to feel how it is on both sides.

Or maybe I’m thinking too much about it.

Feedback is always good, I just have to remember that. Maybe one day I’ll have enough courage to go to writing school. Or find enough time to keep on writing. And writing. And writing.

On a more cheerful note. Wedding plans for my brother is going under way and I’m excited. :) They talked to the caterers last week and talked to me about the flowers (which I will be sponsoring). Next week it’s fitting time. I’m not a bridesmaid so I don’t need to bring bridesmaid gifts, but I am a part of the entourage (that is what they call it, right?). My future sister-in-law just gave me the perfect excuse to get myself red shoes. *rubs hands together* Awesomeness. I don’t know if I can carry stilettos though…but red shoes! Red shoes! I like. :)

But then…once my brother gets married, I would really need to get to be more independent. Sigh, more growing up. Like driving…which I still haven’t practiced. *headdesk* Sometimes I wonder if I should have tried to move out and live on my own just so I can see how I can handle being totally independent…but at the same time, I think I’ll be too homesick. And I don’t know if I will be able to afford my lifestyle if I do that. They say everything will be just enough, but I don’t really see a need to move out. Not yet, anyway.

Ah so many thoughts on Independence Day. Freedom. How I wonder.

I end this post with Google’s doodle for today. :) I like how they did the sun.

Happy Independence Day, Pilipinas. :) Here’s to hoping that I see you rise in my lifetime. :)