Back when LIVEtheLIFE magazine was still alive, Ganns told me that one of the things he liked about my blog was it’s honesty. He called my blog brutally honest, if I remember correctly.Â Apparently, I write things as I see they are. Okay, maybe not always, as I was never the one to give an opinion on current events and politics (unless they’re really striking or if I really and actually care — more to that on another post), but if I am pissed, or stressed or sad or broken-hearted even, I’m sure to post it in my blog.
I did a rehaul of my blog back in June 2006, so all those entries are removed online. Plus, I lost the archives of my 2003-2006 entries duringÂ The Great Ginger Crash of 2007, so I can’t give you specific examples. Ever since I did the rehaul, I tried to stop posting really short one-liner entries because I feel like it’s a waste of blog space and I felt like I should be posting something meaningful. You know?
Somewhere along the way, I lost it. I don’t know what I lost, exactly, but I know I stopped posting as much as I did. I remember being able to find something to post about at least once or twice a week, even when I have to do some sponsored posts. Then, I started posting only book reviews, which was okay, but then some people told me I post too many book reviews and not enough about me. After all, this is a personal blog, right?
I don’t know why I stopped. I mean, I liked writing about my day. I liked writing about life, faith and everything else in between, but somewhere along the way, I lost it. I don’t know how I lost the creative juices to write here. Sometimes writing an entry here feels forced, and absolutely boring that I just stop writing. Sometimes I feel like I don’t make any sense, and that I’m writing this out to an empty audience because who wants to read someone who rambles on and on and on, you know?
So what happened? Maybe it’s because of all the problogging hoopla that I tried to get into a couple of years back? Maybe it’s because I know a lot of people in real life reading my blog? (Then again, what should I expect? It’s on the Internet, duh.) Maybe it’s because I feel like people don’t care about what happens to my day (and yes, I know people still don’t), but it’s not like I make this an actual diary, and write about every.single.detail. of my day. What happened to posts about God, my prayer time, my job and even my love life (or lack there of)?
Somehow this reminds me of how I still struggle with my prayer time ever since I got a new job two years ago (!), how having somewhat of a good life makes you stop doing the things that helped you through the hard times even if you need to do it. Okay, I don’t really need to blog as much as I need to pray, but you get hte point.
I miss being brutally honest. I miss being able to make this blog some kind of sounding board. I miss being able to write stuff that hopefully makes other people think, or inspires them in some way, or makes them laugh.
It’s not that I would bare my soul to the world all over again — oh yeah, I’ve learned not to do that the hard way — but there’s got to be something I can write. I do consider myself a writer, right?
Who said personal blogging is easy?
This is one of the reasons why I’m all for trying out the 30-day blog challenge, because, as Riz said, it’s going to force me to write something, anything. And I know it’s not always fun, and most of the time it’s going to be like pulling teeth…but if there’s one thing I learned from the past five years I’ve been participating in NaNoWriMo, sometimes a little challenge is all you need to get those words out.
I don’t know if I can be as brutally honest as I was before, but here’s to trying. :)