Tag Archives: career

On Stepping Up

For the past few weeks since work started, I’ve been thinking. The difference between 2008 and 2009 (so far) is that when 2008 started, I was all excited, all ready to jump into whatever adventure there is that the year has in store for me. I was the “DO IT ALL” woman. I think my teammates nicknamed me “The World is Not Enough” at some time. :P

Anyway 2008 was certainly a year where I tried to do everything, work wise. Name an event, I know it and is probably a part of it. I was so active in everything and was trying to do them all that a lot of things got pushed to the back. Well, not exactly “back”, but I know that my performance wasn’t as stellar as it used to be. Plus I know I put myself on second place.

So when this year started, I told myself I’d go back to basics. I’d put myself first, I’d focus on the things that matter. What are those things, I’m not yet so sure, but I know my weekends are more or less sacred, and I want to focus on my writing too. Eventually, I arrived at some kind of extreme where I’d rather do stuff for myself and put other things in the backburner again. I always seem to have that kind of problem.

Anyway, so this week, I learned of my rating for my 2008 performance. I gave myself a rating before 2008 ended and I really thought that was the one I deserved, but what I got was…surprisingly good (and by good it means I can probably afford to buy tv lifts if I want to — which I don’t). Of course, I was thrilled, but the rating came with a postscript: “This is the time that you have to prove you deserve that rating.”

Okay, so maybe it’s not exactly said in those words, but that has the gist. I’m happy and humbled to be able to get that rating, but yes, it’s challenging me too. I’m at this point where I know I should step up and I’m trying, really, but at the back of my mind, I don’t know if I can do this while still giving time for myself. I know it’s possible, I just don’t know how I’m going to do it.

My team lead is currently focusing on me and giving me tasks and situations where I can develop my leadership skills to train me so I can be ready for a leadership position sometime soon. I’m grateful for it, but in a way, I am also scared. I was a leader back in YFC, but leadership in the corporate world is different. My company is generally nice, but it’s still the corporate world, and I have been told that I need to be thick-faced and immovable. Something like that, at least. I tell myself I can do it, but honestly, I’m not really sure if I can, you know?

There’s this certain resistance I feel when I am asked to do things like reports, or talk to someone or do something or attend late night meetings. Maybe it’s because I’m not yet used to it, or maybe because I don’t know if I will be able to handle it. Maybe I’m just looking for an easier way out, a way that is not stressful. But what is life without stress, yes?

I need to step up. For how long, I don’t know. But I know I must.

Last night I was talking to Ramie and I was telling him about this entire thing. One thing that I’m kind of grateful for this is there’s this certain feeling of cluelessness, the kind where you really have no idea where you’ll be going and what you’ll be doing, except maybe for a few steps ahead. And with this cluelessness is some kind of comfort, the one where I know that no matter what happens, I know there’s Someone who is with me every step of the way.

I like that this is making me pray more, that having to step up is making me realize that I am totally dependent on God, and without Him there’s really nothing I can do.

Let me quote my favorite verse once again:

Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. (Philippians 4:13, The Message)

By God’s grace, I can do this. :) We can do this. :)

Here’s to stepping up. *cheers*

P.S. Prayers will be appreciated. :)

Refresher: It's Not About Me

So my past week has been…crazy. I had at least one meeting every single night. I’m the head of a project team for our account for this quarter (which feels really heavy even if it’s really not since it’s mostly checking and whatnot…but I feel like I should be the one setting the standard for the entire year because I’m the first leader on rotation), became an officer for IBS Club for the entire year…and both of that is on top of my work. Then there’s actual work, which is not that demanding but obviously eats a lot of time and is my number one priority when it comes to the office.

No, I’m not complaining. I actually like this, the feeling of being busy and all. It can get me a bit bewildered at times because I feel like I’m so inept, and that I couldn’t possibly talk to the people who I will be involved with because I lack authority and I hardly know them. But overall…I think I can do it. I know I can. And besides, I did say I’d do something new this year, and this is definitely something.

Then I learned last Friday what my performance rating is for 2007, and I’m not really allowed to say what it is…but it’s definitely good. :) The results of that would definitely help me in whatever I want to accomplish later this year. I’m pretty sure I still can’t afford to have happy hours in San Diego, but it will definitely help me with my Aslan bills and probably Mission: Sydney. And I’m really, really grateful about it. As much as I don’t really like being on spotlight, it sure feels nice to be recognized.


Continue reading Refresher: It's Not About Me

Identical Blue Men

Hello. I’ve been meaning to blog for the past couple of days but everytime I get home from work I had to fix other things (like rip Season 2 of CSI:NY and put it in Triskal, or fix dinner, or fix the clothes that were just ironed, or just plain sleep because I seem to be lacking). My new work has caused me to be a bit more tired than the usual, hence my missing attendance in the Taste Asia Bloggers event, which I really wanted to go to but my meeting at work finished late and I had to bring home this really thick handout which I have to read for the weekend.

But don’t get me wrong. I am enjoying my work, even if I am not really doing anything just yet. The past three days has been orientation time, and I think I can say that I am going to love it here. From everything I’ve heard from my friends who already work there and the orientation, I know that I am in good hands, and I will be able to start building my career here. I love how one of the company’s values is trust and personal responsibility, which means the company pretty much trusts us to conduct our businesses honestly and that we’d be responsible for ourselves. I love the fact that we’re all required to call everyone in first name basis, even if its our bosses. I love that everyone is treated as equals, as even the bosses have the same seats and tables that we have. I love that our offices are colorful, and that there are a lot of other places and venues for us to relax in the midst of work. And finally, I love how my new company is active in Gawad Kalinga and that we can wear jeans during Fridays and still be able to contribute to GK. :)

All of those are a plus, because the main thing here is that I will be able to do something that I finally like: webdesign. Although I wouldn’t be designing pages as much as Liz or Rick do for their work, I’ll be doing something kind of similar. :) Something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time. Plus my teammates seem like cool people. :D Wanted job + awesome company + great teammates = what more can I ask for?

Work for Google? Haha. Maybe someday. ;) But for now, I’m happy to be one of the Identical Blue Men. Figure it out.

But what am I doing home today? Thankfully, my new boss let us take the next two days off at work to fix our pre-employment requirements. But since I’m basically done (all I’m waiting for is my clearance from my last work, which won’t be in for a month), I will be heading off to my alma mater in a while to finally get my college yearbook and meet with some people I haven’t seen for so long. And if the yearbook is not that heavy (asa pa), I’ll squeeze in some “required” clothes shopping for work. Yes, I consider that part of the requirements. :)

I’ve got more training next week but I will try to blog a bit more since I’ll be having a PC by then. :D But if I don’t, that means I’m seriously listening. Speaking of, I feel like I’m in school again. Ah yes!

And again, speaking of school, I better get ready so I can be there by lunchtime. :) Toodles!