It’s true. November is the longest month of the year.
I apologize for the lack of posts here. With the book blog, NaNoWriMo and real life, my hands are full. Everyday is just me, reading, working and writing, even if I absolutely do not feel like writing. I labeled 2007 as the hardest year in my NaNoWriMo history, but I feel that this year is the worst so far.
Oh well. No pain, no gain, I guess?
I’m still fighting for this novel. So while I do, I thought I’d share this pep talk I sent last week — probably the most honest one I’ve ever sent.
My Novel Sucks – a pep talk from Tina (tinamats)
I knew as a kid that I wanted to be a writer, ever since I “met” Elizabeth Wakefield in Sweet Valley Kids. She was my first writing inspiration, and I am pretty sure she was the one that made me start writing stories even if I never read any of her stuff. I was all set to take up Journalism in college, but I got sidetracked when I was introduced to the wonderful world of HTML and web, so I took the geeky path and graduated college with a degree in Computer Science.
I did not abandon writing in college, though. I joined our school’s literary folio, but quit two terms later because I couldn’t do the residency and I always felt out of place among them. I wrote a few short stories, but I took my own sweet time writing them, except of course when they were semi-autobiographical — with that, it was almost like word vomit. For other attempts at literary work, I totally sucked.
Earlier today, I managed to reach 20k words in my novel. I forced myself to write, write, write and close other things that would make me slack off until I reach that magic land of 20,000 words before Monday came. Then I made a mistake at taking a break and reading some excerpts of the other Wrimos here posted on their profiles. Then I came to a sad realization.
My story sucks.
This entire attempt at writing a retelling of a fantasy story sucks. Really and truly sucks.
And because I chose to stick to the story, that I chose to stick to writing this, it just follows that I also suck.
Here’s a confession: all these years I have been a Municipal Liaison for the region, I have always felt that I was one of the worst writers in the region. No joke. I like writing, yes, but I feel that I lack the formal training, the vocabulary and sometimes even the imagination to be a real writer. Sometimes, during chats and write-ins, I feel lost about the things people talk about. I have to double check the dictionary to understand some words that I feel I should have known before given my reading habits but it never stuck. Sometimes I feel like my novels can never compare to what you guys write. I feel like I’m the most boring person in the world, using the same words over and over again with long sentences and sometimes a bad grasp at grammar. Sometimes, I feel like my words do not carry enough weight, that it’s not exciting and no one will ever look at whatever I wrote, except for friends who get bored and ask me for things to read that are my own.
Yeah, I suck. Continue reading Long November