Ben Rector – Page 2 – tinamats.com

First off: no, this is not a review or something of James Morrison’s album (even if I loved that album). I am borrowing that title, though, because it seems like the best one to use for this post. (So thanks, Papa James, hihi â™¥)

Remember that 2012 mix tape post I wrote last year? I realized that I enjoyed writing that post so much that I should have another one. Of course, this is more appropriate at the end of the year 2013, but then it’s too far away and there are too many songs that I’d want to include in that list based on how 2013 has been so far. This is a little cheat, so I can list more songs. ;)

A little fact: My current mood is almost always connected to the music I listen to (or in the lyrics I tweet). I’m a lyrics person so I relate quick to them, and you can almost always tell the state of my heart based on the song I have on repeat for several days/weeks. I’m sort of transparent that way.

So do expect that this half-year playlist has a lot of #feels, because that’s really just how I roll. :)

1. Winter Snow by Chris Tomlin feat. Audrey Assad

[youtube v7PQhGTCRuU]

Your voice wasn’t in a bush burning
No, Your voice wasn’t in a rushing wind
It was still, it was small, it was hidden

This is actually a leftover from Christmas, and this turned out to be one of my favorites until the year ended. It’s a Christmas song, but it doesn’t sound like a Christmas song, which is great because I still listen to it even now. This song can still calm my heart. :)

July. Why does this month make me feel a little panicky? Is it because we’re at the second half of the year? Is it because I am caught between the scared thoughts like Do I still have time to do the things I said I’d do this year and Where is my life heading and is it even going somewhere, with hundreds of tiny thoughts in between? Is it because I’m expecting something this month, something big to happen?

Maybe. But frankly, I just don’t know.

Deep breaths. Calm down. Relax.

Last weekend, I was with some friends and during a discussion in the car on the way home, my friend told me, “Calm down.” I wasn’t exactly un-calm then, but I guess I was talking a little too excitedly, and when I am excited, I talk even more so than usual. Louder than usual. Faster than usual.

Then I remembered this line I read from a blog post written by a favorite blogger describing another one of my favorite bloggers: She takes my breath away, and when she speaks my heart slows down. It’s true, because I look forward to reading her posts, and her words slow me down, too. I can almost imagine what her voice must sound like in person: a soft, gentle voice, much like the older sisters in my church community whose wisdom and patience and words also slow me down.

I wonder if something similar to this will be ever used to describe…well, me.

I’m not exactly demure (believe me, I tried). I am pretty loud when I’m with people, sometimes I feel like I can never be that calming voice, the one that slows people down, because I feel like I’m too loud. Too talkative. Too fast.

Then I wonder if this entire thing reflects how I treat things. Does this mean that in the other aspects in my life, I’m also too loud and I go too fast, too?

If I am to be more specific (and honest): will I ever be that person to someone, the one who takes his breath away, and the one who slows his heart down, too?

That would be nice.

Tag: Ben Rector

Songs for you, truths for me

There’s so much I don’t know