Keep the Faith – Page 6

Faith

January 4, 2015January 3, 2015 Tina 1 Comment

On November 23, I wrote this post that started with this:

Sometime around last week, I started to feel this tiny little worry because my word for 2015 hasnâ€™t found me yet.

What I didn’t write after that blog entry was that my 2015 word found me soon after posting that.

I can’t remember how I found it, or how it found me. The thing is, the word has been with me ever since I started writing my second book, but I didn’t really notice it because I was too worried with too many things, and I was struggling too much with Delight. I was torn between wanting to find my next word and thinking that maybe I should focus on the word that I have now before moving onto the next. I figured that my word will find me, or I will find it; I just needed to give it time.

But like I said, soon after I wrote that post, before December rolled around, I found my word for 2015.

Faith.

By “finding it,” the word has been sort-of literally staring me in the face all this time, in the form of my next book‘s title, Keep the Faith. I just had that moment: why can’t FAITH be my word for 2015?

And then all the struggles I was having at the end of the 2014 started to make sense. With how I was being asked to wait, and how there were some things that were totally out of control that was driving me nuts…all through that, God was asking me not just to choose His joy, but also, to have faith.

I haven’t completely figured it out yet, but soon as 2014 ended and 2015 came in, I kept on holding onto that: to have faith. In the midst of the struggles, the confusion, the chaos. In the midst of the feeling that I am disappointing people, or in the midst of all the little inconveniences. In the midst of happiness, and the fatalistic feeling that comes after that asks, What if this doesn’t last? In the midst of the anxiety of the new year, and the things I will say goodbye to and the things that will start, and the moments in between that I am desperately wishing wouldn’t be so hard. In the midst of good people and difficult people. In the midst of these thoughts of what people will think, or what they will say or do about certain decisions I will make. In the midst of uncertainties and certainties, I always come back to these words:

Have faith.

I knew from the moment I found this word that this isn’t about me finding out what I believe in, or looking for faith that I have lost. This faith is about realizing and recognizing God’s faithfulness in my life – every second, every minute, every hour, every day.

Faith is about trusting this faithfulness that I have known and experienced, knowing that He has got this covered, and He will not let me fall.

Faith is also me being faithful to Him just as He is faithful to me. It is about me being faithful not just in the big things, but also (and especially) in the small things, because these are all gifts from Him, and I should be a good steward of them.

Faith is about bringing my current faith into a new level, because He wants to take me deeper, and He wants to make it richer. There is so much more I don’t know about my faith, and this is the year to learn about it, and experience it.

If I could be totally honest, I’m a little bit scared of this word. Somehow, Faith reminds me of Courage, and I am feeling the things that I felt when I declared the Year of the Brave.

But we know how all that turned out, right? So there’s no need to be scared.

Perhaps this scared, apprehensive feeling is already a lesson on trusting God’s faithfulness. Because when was He ever not faithful to me?

So 2015 is my year of Faith. I don’t have quotes from blogs or authors about this word, which is just as well, because I think the best thing to go about this is to go to His Word, which has more than enough stories of faith than I could ask for. :)

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” – Hebrews 11:1 (NASB)

I like that word, conviction.

Have a great 2015, everyone! May we all see, recognize, and experience more of God’s faithfulness in our lives this year. :)

14 (Joyful) Things About 2014

December 31, 2014December 31, 2014 Tina Leave a comment

Sometime around end of November, I tried to recall what had happened to my 2014 when I was hit with a realization:Â whoa, a lot of things happened this year.Â No kidding.

I think the thing about 2014 for me, is how a huge chunk of the year seemed to go by in a blur. The obvious culprit for this feeling this is work, as it really ate a lot of my time, but I think other than that, there were really so many things that happened this year that it was almost overwhelming.

When 2014 started, I tried to make it a habit of tweeting at least three joyful things that happened to me in that day, using my 2014 hashtag, #takedelight. I think I lasted doing that daily up until April, where I stopped, and then started somewhere else again, and then stopped again. It was an attempt to remember and be grateful everyday, which was a fun and hard exercise. I wished I had kept at it, but even if I didn’t get to do it everyday for the year, thinking about it reminds me of what my 2014 was supposed to be: a year of delight.

And this is why I like year-end recaps, because it gives me a chance to go through the year one more time. I suppose writing this would have been easier if I had managed to keep at the daily #takedelight things, but even if things weren’t documented, it didn’t mean it didn’t happen. To me, anyway.

This 2014 recap is a lot less…I don’t know, emotional (or heartbroken, really), than 2013, but like I said, there’s a lot in 2014 that happened that I didn’t really expect. And in the spirit of that daily project I never got to finish, I’m calling this 2014 recap 14 Joyful Things About 2014. :)

I think the biggest and most important joyful thing that happened to me this year is doing the 33-Day Consecration to Jesus through Mary retreat.
I heard about this through a friend last year, but because I wasn’t really a Marian devotee back then, I didn’t think about it much. Then came January and my friend encouraged us all to do it. I ordered the book, thinking it would take a month to arrive, but it arrived in 2 weeks, just in time to start the retreat on the next suggested date. This led to my first consecration date on March 25, which was a pretty significant date before but because of this consecration, is now significant in a different way. Then I did it again with our community, and I finished on December 8, which, again was another significant date for me in 2013. I don’t think these are coincidences, really, but a way of Mama Mary telling me that she’s got me, and she has me under her care, so I need not be afraid. My friend said that to prepare for miracles when we do this consecration, and you know what? She’s right. :) Ave Maria.
Travel, as always. I think there was one time early this year when I realized that I seemed to be going places almost every month. That kind of stopped around May, but there were still a lot of places I went to, near and far, this year. There’s Cagayan de Oro in February (that I never got to blog about!), then Calaguas in March for my birthday, a part of Quezon that I haven’t been to in April, and then Pangasinan in September. On the international front, I went to Japan in May, and Thailand and Cambodia (will blog about Siem Reap soon!) in October. I almost went to Sagada this December but we scrapped it because of some changes that was happening in our lives, but that just meant I’ll probably go there next year. Here’s to more places in 2015!
I released my first book. Wohoo. As my thesismate told me last night: you are now an AUTHOR. Sometimes, it still feels a bit surreal. :) I’ve always been so scared to send the things I write for editing, and releasing them out into the wild because they’re my babies, you know? But I realized that there’s really nothing to be afraid of, and it’s actually fun. And this is a fulfillment of all those dreams since I was a kid. :) I realized that this thing is something that I wouldn’t mind doing for my entire life, on top of speaking about books, and just doing wordy stuff.Â Because man, I really love words. Read More

Things I Forget

November 23, 2014November 23, 2014 Tina 2 Comments

Sometime around last week, I started to feel this tiny little worry because my word for 2015 hasn’t found me yet.

Delight, my 2014 word found me perhaps a little around this time last year, but it felt a little obvious given everything that happened in 2013. Courage, my 2013 word found me sometime in December, I think, but I think I knew it before I finally acknowledged that word (because I was scared of it). And now, we’re about 5 weeks away from 2015, and I was coming up with nothing and I was worried.

But then there was no room for worry because the last few weeks at work were very tough ones – as in really tough – and a part of me wonders why these things had to happen on the year when I said I’d be joyful, and not on the year when I said I’d be courageous. I am supposed to be done with having to live courage all over again — it’s the year of joy, joy, joy. Why am I wrestling with fear again?

I know, I know – joy is a kind of courage, it’s not just happiness, and courage is a choice, blah, blah, blah. I know that. Except knowing and living it out are two different things and there was a huge part of me in the past few weeks that keep on resisting to what I was doing, and what I should do, and there’s this loud part of me that just wants to quit. Because it’s hard. Because it’s not fun. Because I don’t think I can do this. Because I don’t want this. Because I didn’t ask for this.

I’m trying to recall where all the guts I had from last year went. I called myself brave last year because I did things I never thought I could do. Did they disappear when I decided to take delight this year? I hope not. Or maybe I wasn’t really brave then, but you know, faking it the entire time? I hope not, too.

I remember something I learned when I started working for my current company, about how we get called to certain levels of faith. When we reach a certain point, we get to start from zero again not because we’re back to square one, but because we’re at a new level, and we need to level up with the faith points. Or joy points. Or courage points. Those kinds of things. While I was reflecting and listening to the community events I attended this weekend, I realized that maybe I am at a new level of courage, and that is why I am scared out of my wits.

Over the weekend, though, I learned that courage isn’t really what drives away fear. Which makes sense, because I always thought brave people are people full of fear who still decide to go for it, anyway. What I completely forgot – because I let my fears ruled me in the last two, three weeks – is this: love drives away fear.

How could I forget that? Perfect love. Okay, sure, my love isn’t perfect, but I am loved by a perfect God…so why am I so afraid? I know I am capable of love…so again, why am I so afraid?

It’s so simple, but I know it’s going to be hard, too, especially since I tend to fall away and worry and lately I seem to be so overwhelmed with so many things. I forget so easily, and I get distracted by so many things, and before we know it, I am back to the worrying and wanting to get out…and then today I was reminded of two things (among others):

Surrender control. Seek His will.

You see, it’s really not about what I want. It has never been that. It’s always been what God wants, what His will is. I know that I will find His will in my deepest desires, but I will only know what those deep desires if I seek His will. And part of seeking His will is surrendering all of my control. The more I try to control, the more frustrated I will get, and the more fearful I will become.

I forget so easily.

I’ve been restless in the past days because everything felt hard, so hard, and all I wanted to do was quit. But earlier today, as the people in the Catchfire 2014 conference sang Refiner’s Fire, and I leaned onto my dad, I started to cry because I realized what I forgot: my heart’s one desire is to be holy, set apart for you my Master, ready to do Your will.

I forget so easily.

It’s Monday again tomorrow, and I am already bracing myself for another tough week. God never promised that it will be easy, but He promised that He will never ever leave us. He will never ever leave me. Hasn’t He been faithful all my life – why would He be less faithful now?

Here’s to a victorious week ahead. :) Pray with me?

Oh my strength, I will sing Thy praises!
Thou o Lord are a shield to me!
Oh my King, though the battle rages,
I look with victory on my enemies.
Praise you Lord, mighty King of Zion! â™¥