I wonder how she does it.

My mom left to visit our dad in Saipan more than a month ago, which left me in charge of the household stuff at home. I wasn’t really that stressed over it because I know I can handle it, and she’d be back before we know it. That, and my mom was in Saipan for almost three months last time, and we managed just fine. No biggie, right?

Well, it’s been almost five weeks, and honestly? I’m tired. I’m not really sure why, especially since we have household help now, and having her around solved the problem of what to eat, especially early in the morning when I have to prepare to work, or when it’s late and I’m tired and I wanted something home cooked. But still, I can’t help but think about the stuff at home — like do we have enough to eat? Did I pay everything I have to pay for? Add that with my work, my gym time, and everything else that I had to deliver…well, it’s kind of crazy. What exhausted me more, I think, is handling the budget.

I think I am pretty good at handling budget, but I totally forgot how many bills that my mom keeps track of. I only keep track of three credit cards, one phone bill and two insurances, and I feel that’s a lot already…but now that I handled the bills at home, all I can say is wow. So many things to pay for, so many things to consider in the budget! It’s a good thing I’m not studying anymore, because I honestly have no idea how my parents can fit in all those expenses! Sometimes I feel like I can’t even budget my own money — what more for them, when they’re still providing some stuff for us?

But I guess that’s what my parents, especially my mom, is gifted at. Managing the household. Making sure everything is running. Making sure we’re all full, safe, and provided for. Seeing how I prefer so many luxuries now, I don’t know if I’ll ever reach their level of unselfishness.

Ah well. I have one more week left of handling the household, and then my mom will be home, finally.No wonder I’m so stressed, and why my skin is breaking out (pretty soon I’ll have to look for best acne treatment to get rid of these). Tomorrow…or I mean later, I’m taking the time off to treat myself. There’s no stopping me.

And before I go: I miss you Ma! :)