Category Archives: Quotable Quote

On Broken Hearts and Soulmates

After the disappointing read that is also known as Breaking Dawn (sorry, I still can’t help but kind of mourn over that book, as what Toni also did), I’m back to reading Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, which is quickly becoming one of my favorite books. :) I can’t wait to read the rest of it but I’m taking it slow since it’s not for fast reading — this book is meant to be read slowly, page by page, just as how Elizabeth Gilbert enjoyed her food in Italy.

I posted this particular passage over at my other blogs and I thought I’d post it here too since it’s really, really insightful and interesting. This is also the passage I read from a friend’s Livejournal which made me want to buy the book. :D

“What’s got you all wadded up?” he drawls, toothpick in mouth, as usual.

“Don’t ask,” I say, but then I start talking and tell him every bit of it, concluding with, “And worst of all, I can’t stop obsessing over David. I thought I was over him, but it’s all coming up again.”

He says, “Give it another six months, you’ll feel better.”

“I’ve already given it twelve months, Richard.”

“Then give it six more. Just keep throwin’ six months at it till it goes away. Stuff like this takes time.”

I exhale hotly through my nose, bull-like.

“Groceries,” Richard says, “listen to me. Someday you’re gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You’ll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing and you were in the best possible place in the world for it — in a beautiful place of worship, surrounded by grace. Take this time, every minute of it. Let things work themselves out here in India.”

“But I really loved him.”

“Big deal. So you fell in love with someone. Don’t you see what happened? The guy touched a place in your heart deeper than you thought you were capable of reaching. I mean you got zapped, kiddo. But that love you felt, that’s just the beginning. You just got a taste of love. That’s just limited little rinky-dink mortal love. Wait till you see how much more deeply you can love than that. Heck, Groceries — you have the capacity to someday love the whole world. It’s your destiny. Don’t laugh.”

“I’m not laughing.” I was actually crying. “And please don’t laugh at me now, but I think the reason it’s so hard for me to get over this guy is because I seriously believed David was my soul mate.”

“He probably was. Your problem is you don’t understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Your problem is, you just can’t let this one go. It’s over, Groceries. David’s purpose was to shake you up, drive you out of that marriage that you needed to leave, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light could get in, make you desperate and out of control that you had to transform your life , then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it. That was his job, and he did great, but now it’s over. Problem is, you can’t accept that this relationship had a real short shelf life. You’re like a dog at the dump, baby — you’re just lickin’ at an empty tin can, trying to get more nutrition out of it. And if you’re not careful, that can’s gonna get stuck on your snout forever and make your life miserable. So drop it.”

“But I love him.”

“So love him.”

“But I miss him.”

“So miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him, and then drop it. You’re afraid to let go of the last bits of David because then you’ll really be alone, and Liz Gilbert is scared to eath of what will happen if she’s really alone. But here’s what you gotta understand, Groceries. If you clear out all that space in your mind that you’re using right now to obsess about this guy, you’ll have a vacuum there, an open spot — a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with that doorway? It will rush in — God will rush in — and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed. So stop using David to block that door. Let it go.

Eat, Pray, Love: A Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia by Elizabeth Gilbert, pp. 197-199

Beautiful, isn’t it? I’ve already dog-eared a lot of pages in this book because of all the quotable quotes I found, which I will copy in my journal for easier recall. :D Yeahba.

Anyway, it’s another Monday and I’ve already got two meetings lined up for today, a card design to finish and a cash advance that I really need to process. Busy, busy day, no time for any other things like reading or PS3. By God’s grace, I’ll go through this day with flying colors. :)

Happy Monday everyone!

And together, we will learn to love

One of the purchases I made in the Book Fair last month was the long overdue and should-have-been-bought-book-since-last-year Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. I have been planning to buy this since last year but I never got around to it, and it has been mentioned to me quite a few times by friends like Chris. Anyway, I finally got around to buying it, and I set aside some of the other books I was currently reading for this. I’ve read Donald Miller’s Searching for God Knows What and I loved it (though I might have to re-read it again :D).

I’m 3/4 through Blue Like Jazz and I’m loving every page. This particular chapter, Romance, is especially cool. I never thought I’d read something about romantic love in a book like this since it’s not really about it, but I like how Donald Miller explains how he learns about that kind of love. At the end of the chapter, he shared a part of this play Polaroids, which is about a man’s life from birth to death. This monologue is written after the man’s fight with his wife. He planned to have these characters divorce, but he changed his mind. Instead, his character kneels beside his sleeping wife’s figure and delivers the most beautiful monologue about love I have ever read. And here I will share my favorite part (emphasis mine):

I will give you this, my love, and I will not bargain or barter any longer. I will love you, as sure as He has loved me. I will discover what I can discover and though you remain a mystery, save God’s own knowledge, what I disclose of you I will keep in the warmest chamber of my heart, the very chamber where God has stowed Himself in me. And I will do this to my death and to death it may bring me.

I will love you like God, because of God, mighted by the power of God. I will stop expecting your love demanding your love, trading for your love, gaming for your love. I will simply love. I am giving myself to you, and tomorrow I will do it again. I suppose the clock itself will wear thin its time before I am ended at this altar of dying and dying again.

God risked Himself on me. I will risk myself on you. And together, we will learn to love, and perhaps then, and only then, understand this gravity that drew Him, unto us.

It’s such a beautiful expression of how a romantic relationship is made to glorify God even more. :) Hay. I shall print this and put this up in my journal for sure.

Book review will come when I finish it. This will definitely be in my favorites list. :) But for now I will continue reading and take a nap in my room (not in the living room sofa, for a change, woot! My bed may not be one of those modern platform beds, but it’s mighty comfortable :p) to recover from the little sleep I got last night. Have a nice rainy day y’all. :)

Things You Learn While Watching CSI #1

I’m still on my CSI watching mode, and I have recently concluded that you get to learn a lot of things ((Things other than crime pays or you should clean up well after committing one or simply just not committing one)) while watching this series.

I am now on Season 1 Episode 9 of the original CSI, and it’s this episode where they found a dead guy inside the first class coach of a plane. There are 9 witnesses, but each has a different story. In the end there were five culprits, but none of them were charged (see entire episode recap here) and our CSI team is discussing how they should be in jail vs. they did it because of human instinct. Gil Grissom silences them all with his own answer, which is something I have written about twice in this blog. And I quote:

You all have different opinions, but you’ve taken the same point of view. You’ve put yourselves in the shoes of the passengers, but nobody’s put themselves in the shoes of the victim. That’s the point. Nobody stopped to ask Candlewell if he was all right. They just assumed because he was kicking the back of Nate’s seat he was a jerk, because he was pushing his call button he was bothering the flight attendant, because he was trying to get into the lavatory he was making a scene, because he was going back up and down the aisles, he was posing a threat. He turned into a threat. It didn’t have to be that way. People make assumptions. That’s the problem. You just did. And I think those passengers made the wrong assumptions. And now this guy’s dead…If one person had taken the time to look at the guy, to listen to him, to figure out what was wrong with him, it might not have happened. It took five people to kill him. It would have taken only one person to save his life.

I knew from experience that assuming is bad, but in this particular episode, it shows that assuming can actually kill. Interesting (and also a bit morbid/terrifying) thought. Something to think about.

I still want a DVD of Season 1, by the way. I’ll take it season by season so as not to go overload. :P

A Friendly Reminder

Here’s a little bit of comfort from my morning prayer time (I finally got to do it again before I got to work — Yay!), which hit me hard, after all the er, complaining I did for the past two days.

The clinging of the women is symbolic of the way in which we can cling to comforting things in an unhealthy way such that they stunt our growth as Christians. The nature of Christian life is that God wants us to be always moving forward. He is not interested in us becoming comfortable in one way or another with our present faith experiences as He knows there is always so much more for us to receive from Him…clinging is usually symptomatic of the desire to remain static and not to accept the challenge of letting go in faith and trusting that we will be able to make the next few steps of the adventure of lifeI will have to get better that letting go of controls in my life and trusting that God will lead me to the right and best place for me.
– Fr. Steve T.

I know this already, but as usual, little old weak me needs reminding from Someone who definitely knows better. Thank You.

By God’s grace, I will live through this. I will cling to nothing else but Him. This is my Great Adventure.

Happy Tuesday everyone. :)

Cryptic Entry # 2: Why?

Hello, Lord. You seem so silent, yet You speak so much.

But what are You saying now?

My [daughter], when you come to serve the Lord, prepare yourself for trials. Be sincere of heart and steadfast, undisturbed in time of adversity. Cling to Him, forsake Him not; thus your future will be great. Accept whatever befalls you, in crushing misfortune be patient; for in fire gold is tested, and worthy men in crucible of humiliation. Trust God and He will help you; make straight your ways and hope in Him…study the generations long past and understand, has anyone hoped in the Lord and been disappointed?
– Sirach 2:1-11 (February 21, 2007)

I did the first thing You want me to do…and got a result that I didn’t really like. But I choose to trust You. Now what do You want?

If our hopes seem to be experiencing disappointment righht now, it simply means that they are being purified. Every hope or dream of the human mind will be fulfilled if it is noble and it is of God. But one of the greatest stresses of life is the stress of waiting for God. He brings fulfillment, ‘because you have kept my commandment to persevere.’ (Revelation 3:10)
– Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest (February 22, 2007)

Why me? Why not me? Why am I here? Why am I not here? Why am I doing this? Why am I not doing this?

I wait because it’s the only thing I could do. I’m still waiting. How long must I wait, Lord?

Let God send you through His storm and don’t go until He does. If you select your own spot to be planted, you will prove yourself to be an unproductive, empty pod. However, if you allow God to plant you, you will “bear much fruit.” (John 15:8)
Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest (March 11, 2007)

Why does this have to mean so many things? Why can’t it mean only one thing so I won’t have to wonder if I did the right thing or not?

Why is it so hard to wait? Why is it so hard to believe?

Am I too wise to recognize that everything uncertain is certainly a possibility? Help me believe because I don’t want to miss any miracle…Could You, would You show Yourself to me…?

Hello, 2007

Where was I for the past first five days of 2007? Let me list them down:

  • January 1: I spent the first two hours in prayer. *blissful smile* I was hit by a big realization the day before while having my hair cut, and that was then I decided that I will spend the first hour of 2007 in prayer. I ended up spending two because the first one was with my family while the second was for my own prayer time. I figured out that I concentrate better in my prayer when I write while I pray so now I write it down. :) I slept, then we went to Tagaytay after lunch for kicks. We visited the lot we have there, then ate at Josephine and went home. My brother and I were supposed to go to the gym but it was traffic so off home we go!
  • January 2: Back to work. It was still kinda relaxed since most people are still on leave. Oh yeah, this was also my first day of gym! Cardio workout for 30 minutes since we got there kind of late. :D
  • January 3: Workout again in the morning, and then work!
  • January 4: Workout again, lots of work and then dinner with the parents at Wendy’s. ♥
  • January 5 (Today): Workout again, then work and now home. HELLO WEEKEND!

Kinda boring if you list it like that. :P The only interesting day I had was New Year’s. Interesting in a way that it didn’t involve work. Although work can be a bit interesting; I’m just not allowed to talk about what exactly I am doing at work here. So there.

Although, I can definitely say that 2007 has been proving to be quite a challenging year so far. And yes, it’s mostly because of work. But let’s not talk about that. ;) It’s times like these that I wonder if I might really have the gift of prophecy (as in the gifts of the Holy Spirit). It’s not that I predict things that will happen (although sometimes, the things I say actually happen, but that’s for another post). Anyway, let’s see…2004 was a year where a lot of things happened, 2005 was the quiet year and 2006 was the year where I learned of God’s faithfulness. Before 2007 started, I was quite apprehensive because I can feel like this year is going to be a year of challenges. I feel like God is going to send me challenges here and there — things that will challenge my beliefs, my faith, my relationship with Him. I don’t know what these challenges are (except work? Haha okay I shall shut up now), but it’s enough for me to balk.

New Year’s Eve, I was praying for God to still my heart, that I may be ready for the coming year. I didn’t pray for it to pass, because I know I’d have to go through something like this sometime, and what better time than now?

Scary? You bet.

But then again, maybe that’s just me. You know, being negative for a change. Who knows? Only God knows.

Though…you know what? Last year is the year where I discovered God’s faithfulness which was deeper than I ever imagined…and this year is also an extension of that. Although maybe this year, God will bring me to another level, to have a real kind of faith, not the one that relies on feelings and experiences alone, but is solidly rooted in His saving love.

As I got out of the office earlier, I was thinking of a lot of things that involved our discussion in the office, as well as battling with this feeling of wanting to quit. But thing is, I’m not a quitter. Although sometimes it feels like I’m wasting my time, and I’ve been hearing so many stories that’s enough to scare me and make me want to retreat.

But then I don’t want to do anything that isn’t in God’s will. As I was walking towards the EDSA Shrine, I got thinking…about work, and the load that’s coming in the next few weeks, the challenges that I will have to face there…and I got scared. But then a word got to me: endurance.

I read it somewhere that we are put in places that isn’t necessarily what we want, and at times we kind of want to leave it because it’s not what we want, and it doesn’t make us happy. I know we should follow our hearts, whatever makes us happy…but do we even know what it is immediately? Yes, God’s will is our deepest desire, and God wouldn’t put us wherever we are miserable…but do we really know what our heart’s desire, just like that?

I’m not saying that God would make us do things we don’t like. God cares more about the journey rather than the destination. We may see that Thing A is good for us, but God sees that Thing B is the best, which is what He wants for us. And the journey to Thing B, is not always easy, but in the long run, it’s worth it because not only did we get the best, but we also became a different person through the journey. Only God knows what our Thing B is, which makes the adventure all the more interesting, albeit terrifying at times.
And through the journey? We endure. I looked up endurance in the Bible and I got this, which spoke to me immediately:

Be assured that from the first day we heard of you, we haven’t stopped praying for you, asking God to give you wise minds and spirits attuned to his will, and so acquire a thorough understanding of the ways in which God works. We pray that you’ll live well for the Master, making him proud of you as you work hard in his orchard. As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work. We pray that you’ll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us.
– Colossians 1:10-12, The Message, emphasis mine

So this 2007, it may be a year full of challenges, but I know God is faithful. And God is definitely bigger than any of the challenges that will come. :)

Here’s to 2007. *cheers*

It's coming around again

Hello, it’s the last year of 2006 and I still can’t connect through FTP so the layout will really just have to wait. Perhaps there’s other things God wants me to put in the layout so it’s waiting. Just be surprised when I have it up. :P

Anyway, I’ll be out later to go to my aunts’ house in QC for a pre-New Year visit, so I’ll be doing this 2006 look back now. I’d upload pictures, but it seems like I won’t be able to…so I’ll just link lots of stuff and re-post pictures I have lying around the site.

So…2006 was a year of fulfilled (and still being fulfilled) promises. 2004 eventful, 2005 was quiet, and 2006 was a year where I believed in God’s promises for me and the people I love; and also a year where I learned to branch out a little bit. Without further a do…here’s the monthly look-back I love doing. :P

Oh, and before you click that, I warn you this is going to be a long entry. :P

Continue reading It's coming around again

Caught in suspension

I still can’t connect to my FTP, so the layout would have to wait. Another pending layout must be finished this weekend, but it’s late, so I have to go because I have some serious journalling and praying to do before I lose these realizations. I’ll share them next time, but in the meantime, here’s some things I’ve been using to reflect on things…and life, in general.

[God] often takes us aside every other source of comfort so that He alone can have our heart’s attention.
Captivating, John & Stasi Elredge

That quote has been on my Livejournal for months, and only now did it really strike me. Next, a song:

[Mae, The Everglow]

Love, it’s the wave I ride
That won’t ever reach the shore
Overwhelmed by the tide
but wanting nothing more..tonight
Than to take this time and make it all mine
It’s coming around again

Every now and again sometimes
I get lost on the wind of a dream
The air gets clean and the seas get wide
and I can do anything
The pain it won’t even cross my mind
There’s wonder in everything
The rope gets loose and the chains unbind
and I can do anything

Hope, it’s the light that strikes
that burns inside of me
It’s a blinding light but somehow I can see…again
When I’ve lost my way
It’s becoming very clear
And it’s coming around again

Every now and again sometimes
I get lost on the wind of a dream
The air gets clean and the seas get wide
and I can do anything
The pain it won’t even cross my mind
There is wonder in everything
The ropes get loose and the chains unbind
and I can do anything

Somewhere between the darkness and the light
My spirit takes to fly
The colors fill the sky
And I’m free

It’s coming around again
It’s coming around again
It’s coming around again

[Chorus] 2x

I’ve been playing Mae’s songs nonstop since yesterday. Gotta love their music. Anyway, I’m off to write. :D Good night everyone!

Rants and Encouragements

My novel still feels flat. X( *kills internal editor*

Yes, friends, no Thursday Thirteen this week or for the next few weeks until November ends because my brain is too wired to focus on anything else but NaNoWriMo (or work). So T13 on will return on December. :)

Anyway. MAN. I haven’t budged in my novel. I might have overworked myself yesterday, but I believe in getting a good headstart. Now I still feel some kind of annoyance at how flat my main character seems even after all the planning. :( Rain is still too talkative, and I can’t find a good situation to show and not tell. Argh.

[pep talk] I can do this. I can do this. [/pep talk]

*kills internal editor who resurrected and internal critic who joined him*

Novels are not written by novelists. Novels are written by everyday people who give themselves permission to write novels. Whatever your writing experience, you have a book in you that only you can write. And November is a beautiful month to get it written.
– Chris Baty, NaNoWriMo director

I can do this! I can do this! :)

How many times…

…can God say “Go and sin no more”? Just a thought.

It’s true that the moment we let our guard down, the devil pounces on us. He tempts us at the moment we feel satisfied at how good and at right we are with God. At one moment we are walking all proud and upright, then all of a sudden, we trip and fall face first in the mud otherwise known as “sin”. And because we are embarrassed of our fall, we stay in that mud instead of trying to get out of it. When we do try to rise, we realize that we don’t have anything to clean ourselves with. But it is also true that the moment we fall, the moment we see and realize and admit how filthy we are and cry out to God in sincerity, He immediately runs to us and wipes away the dirt from our faces with His own pure white robes. He doesn’t mind the stain; all He cares about is to get us clean.

Anything that makes me feel comfort with God’s moral standard, anything that makes me feel, “At last I have arrived,” is a cruel deception…anything that makes me feel discomfort with God’s forgiving love is also a cruel deception.
The Jesus I Never Knew, Philip Yancey