Our annual physical exam for work is scheduled a little bit earlier so now we’re supposed to go do our physicals this week. I was expecting it to be on January, but it’s not like we can do anything to have it rescheduled.

I know I’ve turned into somewhat of a health buff in the last year, but I’ve loosened up on all the health stuff I’ve been doing late this year, so I’m sort of kind of scared of the upcoming exam. Weird, right? I mean, I usually go through these exams and not worry about anything because I know there’s nothing to worry about, but this year, I feel extra anxious for some reason. There is nothing to be worried about, right?

I guess the idea that blood chemistry is added in our annual physical exam added to my anxiety. It used to be only complete blood count but they added blood chemistry, so now we’re supposed to fast before the exam, which means I have to put that in schedule, too. Meh. That’s 10-12 hours of no food or liquid…how will I give my urine sample, then? Ack.
I worry too much.

I guess anything health related is kind of worrying. Well, I know I shouldn’t, but sometimes I feel like I hardly take care of myself, even if I’ve been taking the time to exercise and all that. Still, you never know what could hit you even if you’ve taken care of your health and all. I’ve heard stories of some healthy people who suddenly get sick with serious diseases and stuff. And I’m afraid to know that I am sick, or if I would require some kind of operation or something.

And I don’t want to be sick. Who wants to be?

But isn’t it scarier if I find out when it’s all too late? When I could have prevented everything if I did what I had to do at this age and not push it all for later?

You know what, I think all this anxiety is also because I haven’t been really okay spiritually. As usual. I always falter. I’ve stopped struggling for the past few months already that sometimes I wonder how far gone I am. And if I could ever get back where I used to be.

Ah well. This is one fact of life that I can’t skip, and I know that I must face, and pray that everything will be okay. It will be okay, right? I’m just being paranoid, right?

*deep breath* Dear God, even if I keep on forgetting You lately, please don’t forget me.  Lord help me remember that You’re bigger than any of this. Please let everything be okay.