Earlier today, while doing some last-minute grocery shopping, my friend Isa retweeted this:
REMINDER: you don’t have to have 2016 all figured out by the time the ball drops tomorrow night. #fireandwindco
â€” Stephanie Kay Sharp (@stephkaysharp) Disyembre 31, 2015
And I thought,Â Yes, this.
I admit that I have been putting off this 2015 recap for the past few days and was intent on doing other things (like writing) because I wasn’t sure how to go about this. I mean, 15 is a pretty big number to fill (maybe I should quit doing this numbers thing for my recaps), and I guess a part of me is a bit in denial that this year is ending now.
And perhaps there’s a bit of dread coming in, unlike the previous years, and it felt a little disconcerting because I love the New Year. I love it because it meant so many things: new beginnings, new goals, new everything – even if really, not all of them are new. Everything’s fresh and just brimming with possibilities, and I like to make January 1 always awesome so I could carry it for the rest of the year.
But the ending of 2015 and the start of 2016 is a little bit different. I admit that it’s also probably because I’ve been on vacation, and I am loving the fact that I didn’t have much to do nor work to think of and the new year coming meant I’m closer to going back to the office again. Haha. I guess another factor is that I’m turningÂ thirty next year and how about that for some growing-up anxiety.
I mean,Â thirty.Â Friends who are already past that age tell me that it isn’t a big deal afterwards, but I bet you were also freaking out slightly when you were approaching that age. :P But really, I guess there’s that feeling that I should have a grasp of my life better now that I’m reaching a new decade. Like I should have this and that, like I should have a plan and an answer to some of the questions that I had back when I was 20, or 24, or something.
But you know what? Those areÂ lies.Â No one has all the answers and no one has things figured out right now. And Stephanie Kay Sharp’s tweet reminded me that it’s okay not toÂ be completely 100% ready for 2016 by the time this day ends, because who’s completely ready, anyway? I don’t think anyone really is. The best I can do now is reflect,Â be thankful, and pray for what 2016 has in store for me, for us.
Because 2015 is all aboutÂ FAITH:Â being assured of what is hoped for; being certain of what we cannot see.Â
Now that I’ve got that word vomit out (I just watchedÂ Mean GirlsÂ the other night, haha), I’ve decided not to the 15 things, because really, 15 is not enough, and also already daunting for this Tita to remember everything. ;) I think I’m the only one pressuring myself to do the same thingsÂ I didÂ in the past years. So, instead, an unnumbered list.