Faith

On November 23, I wrote this post that started with this:

Sometime around last week, I started to feel this tiny little worry because my word for 2015 hasn’t found me yet.

What I didn’t write after that blog entry was that my 2015 word found me soon after posting that.

I can’t remember how I found it, or how it found me. The thing is, the word has been with me ever since I started writing my second book, but I didn’t really notice it because I was too worried with too many things, and I was struggling too much with Delight. I was torn between wanting to find my next word and thinking that maybe I should focus on the word that I have now before moving onto the next. I figured that my word will find me, or I will find it; I just needed to give it time.

But like I said, soon after I wrote that post, before December rolled around, I found my word for 2015.

Faith.

By “finding it,” the word has been sort-of literally staring me in the face all this time, in the form of my next book‘s title, Keep the Faith. I just had that moment: why can’t FAITH be my word for 2015?

And then all the struggles I was having at the end of the 2014 started to make sense. With how I was being asked to wait, and how there were some things that were totally out of control that was driving me nuts…all through that, God was asking me not just to choose His joy, but also, to have faith.

I haven’t completely figured it out yet, but soon as 2014 ended and 2015 came in, I kept on holding onto that: to have faith. In the midst of the struggles, the confusion, the chaos. In the midst of the feeling that I am disappointing people, or in the midst of all the little inconveniences. In the midst of happiness, and the fatalistic feeling that comes after that asks, What if this doesn’t last? In the midst of the anxiety of the new year, and the things I will say goodbye to and the things that will start, and the moments in between that I am desperately wishing wouldn’t be so hard. In the midst of good people and difficult people. In the midst of these thoughts of what people will think, or what they will say or do about certain decisions I will make. In the midst of uncertainties and certainties, I always come back to these words:

Have faith.

I knew from the moment I found this word that this isn’t about me finding out what I believe in, or looking for faith that I have lost. This faith is about realizing and recognizing God’s faithfulness in my life – every second, every minute, every hour, every day.

Faith is about trusting this faithfulness that I have known and experienced, knowing that He has got this covered, and He will not let me fall.

Faith is also me being faithful to Him just as He is faithful to me. It is about me being faithful not just in the big things, but also (and especially) in the small things, because these are all gifts from Him, and I should be a good steward of them.

Faith is about bringing my current faith into a new level, because He wants to take me deeper, and He wants to make it richer. There is so much more I don’t know about my faith, and this is the year to learn about it, and experience it.

If I could be totally honest, I’m a little bit scared of this word. Somehow, Faith reminds me of Courage, and I am feeling the things that I felt when I declared the Year of the Brave.

But we know how all that turned out, right? So there’s no need to be scared.

Perhaps this scared, apprehensive feeling is already a lesson on trusting God’s faithfulness. Because when was He ever not faithful to me?

So 2015 is my year of Faith. I don’t have quotes from blogs or authors about this word, which is just as well, because I think the best thing to go about this is to go to His Word, which has more than enough stories of faith than I could ask for. :)

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” – Hebrews 11:1 (NASB)

I like that word, conviction.

Have a great 2015, everyone! May we all see, recognize, and experience more of God’s faithfulness in our lives this year. :)

2014 Mixtape

So I meant to write this annual mix tape post last 12-13-14, but again, work and other things ate up my time. That has been my constant excuse in the latter half of the year, but I hope that that will change as the year turns. Since I do not want to break tradition, I told myself I’d write a post during the holiday break, so I wrote some songs in my notebook…

…and found that I actually had a hard time filling up the 14 slots for this year.

It’s not that I had so many songs. It’s really more that I didn’t really have a lot of songs to choose from because I realized that I didn’t listen to so many songs this year because I was so busy. Too busy.

So annoying.

But I still made it, anyway – much thanks to my last.fm account for keeping track of all my music. Then I realized how different this year’s mixtape will be from 2013 and 2012…but it’s okay. It’s the good kind of different. :)

1. Delight by Robin Nievera

Things could change or rearrange
But I will delight in Your song

I wanted to include this in my half-year soundtrack, but I realized this fits better at the end of the year because the title of the song is my word of the year. :) I heard this during the Jars of Clay concert last year and I liked it a lot, and I listened to it over and over again back then, especially during the hard moments. I realized that I didn’t really listen to this recently, so I played it again as I was writing this and I smiled because yeah, I will delight in Your song. :)

2. Sink My Feet by Jillian Edwards

I wanna sink my feet down in security
Unmoved by changing tides and
Shadow shifting lines
Then I’d see the stars, see the sun
And I’d see all that has been done

This song, like Audrey Assad’s Good to Me, came at the right time this year. It was the time when I was experiencing several changes in my life, coming from the things that happened in the previous year. There were so many things at this time in this year that was hard that I knew all I had to do was to sink my feet in His grace, because of all that He has done. :) This song still calms me down whenever I hear it.

Continue reading 2014 Mixtape

take delight

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