Changed and Changes

I just finished baking my New Year’s cake, a Chocolate Chip Sour Cream Cake (will post about this once I know how it tastes — crossing my fingers now!), and earlier, I just cooked another batch of Chocolate Revel Bars, so now I feel like I’m so full of flour and sugar. How’s about that for spending the last year of 2007?

The other day I met up with Diana, an old elementary schoolmate who moved to Canada back in high school. It was supposed to be a reunion of sorts, but as usual, as with my “gimmick jinx”, no one else made it. Except for Happy, who I was with during the afternoon after a failed movie thing (Pfft, goodbye P140 because of Enteng Kabisote 4!), and we ended up eating, walking around Eastwood, listening to Regine Velasquez sing and sitting in Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf until my brother arrived.

It was a nice day, actually, even if I was hoping for a bigger crowd. It was nice talking to old friends and current friends and having everyone get along. During the course of the night (and after), however, I got thinking with something Diana said: “You haven’t changed.

No, it wasn’t said in a deregatory way. What she meant was, I haven’t change since the last time we saw each other…which was six years ago. I find comfort in the fact that I am still the same person I was (okay, a bit more mature than before), but as for other things…I guess I am still the same. As we were accompanying Happy while she shopped, I realized that the way I look is more or less the same as the way I used to look, way back in high school (sans the braces, of course), and the way I dress is still the same way I used to dress. My hair is still wavy, I did not grow taller, and I guess I am fatter than I was before. If we used to know each other and then we lost contact and we saw each other again, you won’t have any trouble recognizing me because I look the same.

Not that it’s not bad. I am comfortable with the way I look, and I like myself (but yes, I could lose a few pounds and all). But everyone I know and used to know, everyone around me has changed even some bit as they went through some defining moments in their lives. While I…was still stuck wherever I am.

Like I said, it’s not bad. But maybe it’s time I do something to change myself, you know? Physically. I won’t be doing it for other people, not to attract guys or because I feel insecure with anyone, but because I want to do it for myself. You know, do something new with the way I look. Get my hair straightened again, finally lose some weight, get out of the shirt+jeans+sneakers outfit. Maybe even wear a bit of make-up (gasp!). Be a girl, for a change, you know? There’s nothing wrong with that, right?

So God help me, I will try to be more…er, fashionable this year. I will start fitting clothes I never thought I’d fit before, start exercising seriously (so I won’t have to wear a corsets when I wear some…fit clothes), and start paying a bit of attention with the way I look…even just a bit. And yes, shopping! I told myself that starting next year, I’ll be buying myself a top/pants/skirt/shoes every month next year, and I must buy myself a dress by my birthday. I know I’m not the kind of girl who turns heads with her beauty, but that does not mean I can’t be presentable, right? ;) As with what I said a few days back, 2008 is the year of Big, Fun and Scary Stuff, the year where I try new things for myself. And this is new. So…bring it on!

Less than six hours before we say goodbye to 2007! Have a safe New Year’s Eve, everyone! :) See you on 2008!