Where was I for the past first five days of 2007? Let me list them down:
- January 1: I spent the first two hours in prayer. *blissful smile* I was hit by a big realization the day before while having my hair cut, and that was then I decided that I will spend the first hour of 2007 in prayer. I ended up spending two because the first one was with my family while the second was for my own prayer time. I figured out that I concentrate better in my prayer when I write while I pray so now I write it down. :) I slept, then we went to Tagaytay after lunch for kicks. We visited the lot we have there, then ate at Josephine and went home. My brother and I were supposed to go to the gym but it was traffic so off home we go!
- January 2: Back to work. It was still kinda relaxed since most people are still on leave. Oh yeah, this was also my first day of gym! Cardio workout for 30 minutes since we got there kind of late. :D
- January 3: Workout again in the morning, and then work!
- January 4: Workout again, lots of work and then dinner with the parents at Wendy’s. ♥
- January 5 (Today): Workout again, then work and now home. HELLO WEEKEND!
Kinda boring if you list it like that. :P The only interesting day I had was New Year’s. Interesting in a way that it didn’t involve work. Although work can be a bit interesting; I’m just not allowed to talk about what exactly I am doing at work here. So there.
Although, I can definitely say that 2007 has been proving to be quite a challenging year so far. And yes, it’s mostly because of work. But let’s not talk about that. ;) It’s times like these that I wonder if I might really have the gift of prophecy (as in the gifts of the Holy Spirit). It’s not that I predict things that will happen (although sometimes, the things I say actually happen, but that’s for another post). Anyway, let’s see…2004 was a year where a lot of things happened, 2005 was the quiet year and 2006 was the year where I learned of God’s faithfulness. Before 2007 started, I was quite apprehensive because I can feel like this year is going to be a year of challenges. I feel like God is going to send me challenges here and there — things that will challenge my beliefs, my faith, my relationship with Him. I don’t know what these challenges are (except work? Haha okay I shall shut up now), but it’s enough for me to balk.
New Year’s Eve, I was praying for God to still my heart, that I may be ready for the coming year. I didn’t pray for it to pass, because I know I’d have to go through something like this sometime, and what better time than now?
Scary? You bet.
But then again, maybe that’s just me. You know, being negative for a change. Who knows? Only God knows.
Though…you know what? Last year is the year where I discovered God’s faithfulness which was deeper than I ever imagined…and this year is also an extension of that. Although maybe this year, God will bring me to another level, to have a real kind of faith, not the one that relies on feelings and experiences alone, but is solidly rooted in His saving love.
As I got out of the office earlier, I was thinking of a lot of things that involved our discussion in the office, as well as battling with this feeling of wanting to quit. But thing is, I’m not a quitter. Although sometimes it feels like I’m wasting my time, and I’ve been hearing so many stories that’s enough to scare me and make me want to retreat.
But then I don’t want to do anything that isn’t in God’s will. As I was walking towards the EDSA Shrine, I got thinking…about work, and the load that’s coming in the next few weeks, the challenges that I will have to face there…and I got scared. But then a word got to me: endurance.
I read it somewhere that we are put in places that isn’t necessarily what we want, and at times we kind of want to leave it because it’s not what we want, and it doesn’t make us happy. I know we should follow our hearts, whatever makes us happy…but do we even know what it is immediately? Yes, God’s will is our deepest desire, and God wouldn’t put us wherever we are miserable…but do we really know what our heart’s desire, just like that?
I’m not saying that God would make us do things we don’t like. God cares more about the journey rather than the destination. We may see that Thing A is good for us, but God sees that Thing B is the best, which is what He wants for us. And the journey to Thing B, is not always easy, but in the long run, it’s worth it because not only did we get the best, but we also became a different person through the journey. Only God knows what our Thing B is, which makes the adventure all the more interesting, albeit terrifying at times.
And through the journey? We endure. I looked up endurance in the Bible and I got this, which spoke to me immediately:
Be assured that from the first day we heard of you, we haven’t stopped praying for you, asking God to give you wise minds and spirits attuned to his will, and so acquire a thorough understanding of the ways in which God works. We pray that you’ll live well for the Master, making him proud of you as you work hard in his orchard. As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work. We pray that you’ll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us.
– Colossians 1:10-12, The Message, emphasis mine
So this 2007, it may be a year full of challenges, but I know God is faithful. And God is definitely bigger than any of the challenges that will come. :)
Here’s to 2007. *cheers*