On Crushes

Well this week has certainly been more stressful, but a lot more interesting than the usual. Why it’s interesting? I’d rather not divulge. Haha. :P But it was nice getting to meet more people and realizing that I can be friends with some people at work and finally starting to get out of my shell and start making hirits to people in the office. In a totally non-offensive way of course; just for fun. And it’s nice being able to feel normal again. As normal as I would be.

Anyway, I have a very important lesson taught to me this week. It’s not work related, for a change. :) It’s actually quite nice to be able to see how things I usually get sad about is something that would teach me a new lesson.

So let’s talk about crushes. Okay, I saw your ears (or eyes?) perk up! This should be interesting. :)

The thing about crushes is that…well, they are crushing. Emotionally crushing. It’s fun to have crushes — to watch him/her from far away, to see him/her everyday, to have him/her smile at you and talk to you and exchange jokes with you and all that…there’s nothing more “giggle-inducing” than a crush. Agree? In case you’re curious, I still get all “kilig” about any crush…and you know what I do? I actually curl up in a ball on my bed and laugh like mad. Haha. My roommates know this!

But, as I said…it’s crushing. Crushing because having crushes can make you have expectations and assumptions that would end up with you hurting…and crying and in result…crushed by a crush. Of course, in most scenarios, your crush doesn’t know anything, so that makes it harder since you can’t blame him/her for hurting/crushing you since he/she basically has no idea that he/she holds you affections. Correct? This of course, doesn’t count out of reach crushes such as Nick Carter, BJ Manalo or Hugh Jackman. :P I can feel all giggly with them without being guilty and afraid of getting hurt because they’re so far away. But when I meet someone who’s really nice (emphasis on the really), and I can talk to easily…well, there’s another crush.

You see, when the guy is “reachable”, I see it as something more “dangerous”. Dangerous in the sense that I might end up getting hurt over him and wondering if he even saw me the same way I saw him…and all those crush hullabaloos. I almost always have this “tug-of-war” inside me whenever I deal with a crush…because as much as I want to feel giggly-girly and all that, I also do not want to get hurt.

Yes, I do take the fun out of crushes. I’m neurotic that way. But anyway, the thing I also realized this week is that…crushes are born early. Crushes develop in a short span of time…a day, a week. If you’re a neurotic single girl like me, every crush that comes your way makes you think of the possibilities of “what if”? What if he’s The One? What if?

In the Christian and most practical point of view…that thinking is silly. Just plain silly. Knowing a person for a week is not enough time for one to consider if he/she is The One. Lifetime relationships start out not in a week, obviously.

And that’s where I go wrong. Because lately, whenever I meet a new guy, there’s this thought in my head going, “Hm…what if?” Then I nurse the crush and then I find out something about that person (like, say, he’s taken already) and I get crushed. Silly, silly Tina. The guy has no fault in this because it’s my fault why I got hurt — I thought of the guy as a “prospect”, not as a friend or a brother, which is what they are really. Friend. Brother. Nothing else, at least for now. I won’t get to meet my GG (God’s gift, as we call it in YFC) within a week, that’s for sure!

And that, my friends, is the lesson for the week. Guys are brothers, not prospects. In the same way, Girls are sisters, not prospects. :) Prospects come in time, but not when you just met the person. :) If we treat each other this way, there would be less heartbreaks caused by crushes, don’t you think?

4 thoughts on “On Crushes”

  1. my gosh, anak ‘ata taLaga kita. ‘coz i’m in that crush phase with someone in my department. i’ve been giggLing Like a high-schooL girl instead of being a no-nonsense corporate woman Lady. but, as you’ve pointed out in your post, yeah, they are our brothers. i’d Like to get to know who he is, actuaLLy. not ‘coz i’m hoping that it’LL be a great start for a Love story, but ‘coz i know he’LL be such a good friend to me.

    miss you na, anak! hope we’d get together sometime. how about dinner or something? i’LL teLL Louie rin.. =)

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