10.10.10

Of course I can’t let this day pass without blogging.

The past few days have been grueling for me, with lack of sleep, family errands and work stress all coming down on me all at the same time. I have never felt so tired, so giddy, so pissed and so stressed in one week, so much that I wanted to cry as Friday ends. I’ve been trying not to make it such a big deal and not stress over stuff, but sometimes you just can’t help but feel it.

Suffice to say that I’m sort of dreading tomorrow because I do not want to be stressed again. At least, not in the same level as I was last Friday. I mean, I’m all for taking responsibility, but don’t you hate it when you have to take responsibility for other things other people committed to do when you weren’t even involved in it in the first place? And you’re put into tremendous pressure because no one else can pick up the slack? UGH. Seriously, give me a break.

BUT. I must stop. No more stressing out.

I wanted to write something fun about 10.10.10..but honestly, I’m out. I’m sort of just waiting for this year to end, which kind of sucks because that’s not how it’s supposed to be. I should be enjoying 2010, I should be thankful because on the overall, it’s not such a bad year. I think I’m just resisting the changes coming, somewhat, or maybe I’ve bitten off more than I can really chew and I’m close to choking.

I really, really hope not.

Let’s see. What are the other stuff that’s coming up anyway?

  • Brother’s wedding
  • Adidas King of the Road
  • NaNoWriMo 2010
  • Runrio leg 3
  • Christmas

Why does it feel like I’m running out of time again?

I’m pretty sure I need to take a step back and figure out what else I can set to accomplish before this year ends. I’m sure I won’t meet all my goals anymore, but I sure want to say that I tried meeting some of them. I need to stop being chicken (about drivingĀ  — learning about car insurance quotes included — and getting checked up), to stop being lazy (writing, baking, getting to my ideal weight). I need to start doing something…I don’t know, worthwhile?

Yes, I’m having a growing up crisis today. Oh hormones, would this be you? Please be you.

I think one of the important things I’ve learned — or I’m starting to learn — lately is to stop sweating the small stuff. I musn’t stress over the things I can’t really control, or stress over the things that I shouldn’t really be stressing about. And I have a feeling I’m doing that now with this semi-growing-up crisis I’m having.

Focus. Focus. And prayer. I haven’t been praying for a while now. Must get back. There is no excuse for me not to pray. I’m not holding my end of the relationship well — I’m sorry, God.

Okay breathe. That’s it. It will be okay. By God’s grace, I’ll be okay, and I’ll snap out of this funk and I’ll be able to enjoy the good stress that my life brings and enjoy it at every moment, no matter what.

Dear Jesus, please be with me. I know I haven’t been the best daughter lately, I’m sorry. Please help me get back on track.

10.10.10 seems like a good place and time to start.