December, December

christmastreeAh…December. How excited I am to see you.

Seriously. November has got to be one of the most difficult months I’ve had this year for some weird reason. I hate that NaNoWriMo was involved, but sadly, it was one of the things that kind of made me want to scream too.

I hate that I’m complaining, but I mean how was it, that my office laptop and ID would just break down one after the other? What’s up, world, why are you picking on me all at one time?

And I hate that I’m complaining about the little things that I’m complaining about are just small petty things — little inconveniences! Why am I complaining about this when I didn’t even complain (as much as I would have) about what happened to us in the flood? Is it the perspective thing?

I don’t know. But still, I’m really glad November is over. It really felt like the month had it in for me. Today I woke up feeling strangely optimistic. I got a pretty good workout done, my laptop is now working fine and I will get an ID replacement by tomorrow. And the weather is just perfect, too.

So maybe it’s just one of those months?

I’ll post about NaNoWriMo again after the TGIO party this Saturday. And if you could spare us some time, please, can you pray that we get the venue? I’m getting zero response from our contact and it’s already on Saturday and I’m panicking already and…

Breathe. Breathe. You’ll get the venue. If you don’t, you’ll find another one.

But Lord, please give us that venue. Please? :D

Yes, prayers. We need that.

I need prayers. I hate to admit that I haven’t been praying that much again. :( I hate that the flood got me praying almost all the time but when I have recovered (I think), I stopped again. I hate this inconsistency. I hate that I am too lazy to pray when I am not too lazy to go to the gym or do other things. I hate that I am afraid to hear what God has to say to me, because I’m afraid that I might not like it. Talk about being disconnected. What I hate the most is that I seem to be getting used to this kind of lifestyle, the one that isn’t rooted in prayer. :(

I can see how messed up my life has been in the past month, all of a sudden.

So December, I really am excited for you. Maybe this month I can take it slow (sort of) and focus on the things that are important. Like rebuilding my spiritual life and my prayer time. And spending time with family and friends. Going on vacation (Coron in two weeks! I need to shop — but no Dansko for now, I don’t think I can bring that to the beach!). And taking care of myself. And enjoying Christmas.

Maybe this month I’ll find a way to appreciate 2009. But that’s for another post.

ETA: Okay, I just realized that I don’t know why I added that Charlie Brown Christmas tree image. I guess I just want to have a picture in this post. Which reminds me — I resume designing next year. Wish me luck. :)