Last night, while I was busy waiting for HoMM5 to finish downloading, I decided to drop by this old LiveJournal community I used to be a part of last 2006 just for kicks, since I did not join it on purpose this year because I know I would forget about it and I wouldn’t be able to do it. What is it, exactly?
The LJ community is named Embodiment, a year-long project to write one journal entry a day for the entire year. It’s a really cool project which I totally failed when I first joined. Heh. People post ideas for posts, and these lovely photos of their journals, where I suddenly feel insecure of because I couldn’t be as artistic as they are. I loved seeing the photos, reading some of their entries and seeing how they decorate it all, using all kinds of things from receipts to rub ons to stickers to newspapers, drawing with various mediums such as pencils, bic pens, colored pencils, crayons, watercolor…basically anything that writes. There was one journal entry there that spoke of heartache, and it was just a green page with a heart in the middle, which looked like it was bleeding and the words, “It still hurts.” Ah, so painful, yet so beautiful. They made artsy pages about finding themselves, their family, letting go, dating a guy named Neil, school, new beginnings, and…so many things.
It’s too late to join the project (sadly), but I just checked my offline journal and I realized I’ve managed to write one entry per day for the past twenty-eight days. Interesting. Most of them are prayers/quotes, while some are actual entries which talk about…well, personal stuff.
As I read the entries on the Embodiment LJ community, it strikes me again how…bright and sunshiney I can be. I swear. I can’t remember ever writing any angsty entries in my journal (lovesick ones, yes, but not that angsty or emo…I cringe whenever I write anything emo –;)…most are positive stuff. Like there’s a better day tomorrow and things will be okay and all that. Not that that isn’t okay…it’s just…I don’t know, nice, I guess. Nice how I can still write in my journal even if I’m reallY okay — more okay than the other journals I read online, at least.
I used to ask myself before, when the main reason of my journaling was because of some heartache, if I would still journal if life is all okay. If I don’t have some boy I’m pining for, if my heart doesn’t feel like it’s about to be crushed anytime by my own expectations. What if I actually had a love life…would I even write at all?
I stopped writing regularly in my journal for about half a year, especially when I started my new job. I was more concentrated into blogging, and it was only lately I started writing again. It made me realize that it’s not always about love lives. I admit that I end up writing a bit more in my journal when there’s someone tugging at my heartstrings, but I have a feeling that even if that specific part of my life is okay, something else will come up. And it will be worth writing about…especially when I need to unload. Because everyone needs something to vent out on, and this is one of the best ways, yes?
So I guess we could call this journal (and the next few blanks I have in my drawer waiting to be filled) a mini Embodiment-like project for myself. I’ve always loved reading through old journals (even if it makes me cringe so much!), and it would be really cool to have journals to chronicle the entire year, right? Especially this Big, Fun and Scary Year, right? :D It may not be as artsy…but still, it’s my journal, and that should count for something. :)