Yes I’m stressed.

The moment I woke up today, I knew I wasn’t in my normal chipper mood. I have been feeling quite lethargic since yesterday and today was just…blah. The only thought that is running through my head is, “I’m so tired.” And believe me, as many things that I do and deal with, I hardly ever say that I am tired. I actually thrive on being busy, because it keeps things so interesting.

But this week has felt like such a chore. There are two ways for me to deal with stress. The ideal way is to be focused and keep moving forward, finishing all the things I have to do in the best time possible. Then there’s the other way, where I squirm out of commitments, where I try to ignore my responsibilities and just try to get away from everything. Thankfully, I’ve been doing the former, but lately it’s been so tempting to do the latter — I just want to disappear and then go back when everything’s over. Preferably done by someone else.

Hay.

So anyway, I was browsing around a new website I discovered through Sarah, The Boundless Webzine. It’s kind of like Lifeteen, only it caters to people in the college and post-college people. Ah, it’s kind of like Bustedhalo. :D There you go. Anyway, so I was browsing it earlier while eating breakfast in my workstation, and I was looking for articles about faith, about being weary just to refresh myself in some way and I came across an article called Venting and Losing. I read it, and right from the start I knew it was for me. :)) Here’s some parts:

I’ve always been a glass-half-full kind of girl. My friends will tell you I’m quick to look for the bright side of most situations. I’m not a complainer. At least that’s what I like to think.

A couple weeks ago, I found myself in a depressing cycle. It started with my dissatisfaction with a certain relationship. The person was failing to meet my expectations, which disappointed me. That disappointment led to anger, which led to grumpiness.

Feeling the need to “process,” I vented my frustration to my exercise buddy. Although she tried to console me, my venting caused my self-righteousness to rise and made me even grumpier.

Over the next few days, I stewed over the situation and “vented” to several other people. As I griped about my unfair situation, I found myself not only being frustrated with the initial relationship but being critical of others as well. Soon it seemed as if everyone was letting me down.

My dissatisfaction grew until I reached a breaking point. Tearfully, I took it out on a friend who happened to call at the wrong moment. When I hung up the phone, I realized something had gone terribly wrong. Instead of helping my situation, venting had blown it out of proportion…

…My complaints, on the other hand, are trivial: Perceived mistreatment by another person. Less than ideal circumstances in my personal life. Not getting things I believe I deserve. OK, so I may not be wandering in the desert, but these things can still seem unfair…

…Our world is marked by complaint. Complaint against our government. Complaint against the educational system. Complaint against those who bring us food, bag our groceries, let their cell phones go off during movies. Our freedom of speech is the freedom to complain. And we take that freedom very seriously.

A person who doesn’t criticize something is a novelty. He makes you wonder why he’s satisfied. As believers, we have a compelling reason to not complain. We have been shown undeserved grace and given unfathomable riches through Jesus Christ. In light of this, complaining about anything seems — well, silly.

I say I trust an all-powerful, good, loving God, but when that trust is put to the test through less-than-ideal circumstances, I often fail. Instead of acknowledging that God controls the details of my life, I moan and groan about how unacceptable they are. A life where grumbling is absent, however, speaks volumes about a person’s trust in God.

[Read entire article here]

Ouch! How about that. But thank You, Lord. You always know where to hit me.

I’m still tired, yes, and I still feel stressed and somehow I feel like I’m going to spontaneously combust (thanks Yam for the term) anytime…but I’m going to do my best to follow Philippians 2:14-15 : “Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe.”

By God’s grace, God and I will go through this. :) One of my favorite Bible verses back in high school, during my stressful times was: “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:12-13). This is even better than any venting session or the best diet pill or even the new Starbucks Dark Mocha Frappuccino (which I really, really love). I will hold onto this, and to the promise that God is with me every step of the way. :) Great adventure!

Are you stressed? :)