Yesterday was a mixed emotions day. I was happy it was Friday, and I was excited for our quarterly Townhall. I felt bad for someone because of something I did, was excited for receiving something totally unexpected. But what kind of disturbed me the most for myself, was how I didn’t really feel anything about what happened in Glorietta 2.
Okay, I didn’t really feel nothing. I have this defense mechanism where when something really big happens, be it positive or negative, I tend to push the emotions away for a while and then feel it when I’m ready. I store them all up somewhere inside, then digest it when I know it’s “safe” to do so. That is why it takes a while for me to feel really happy or really sad about some things, because I choose not to feel it immediately.
When I heard about the Glorietta 2 explosion yesterday, my guy teammate was more worried than I am about it. Then again, maybe I wasn’t that worried because as far as I know, there was no one I know in that area — only a few people, that is. My brother works in Galleria, I’m in Eastwood, my mom’s at home, my best friend works in Shaw, my other friend is in Bacolod, the other one is in school. So my first initial thought was, Thank God I don’t work in Makati.
But after some time (like today), I felt selfish for that thought. Here I am again, thinking about myself in a time where other people are hurt, other people lost their loved ones and other people are in trauma for having to witness such event. I am relieved that I wasn’t there, that no one I know got hurt…but I can’t help but feel like I should be feeling something else for the people affected other than sympathy.
I know that might not make any sense, but forgive me for thinking aloud. This thing made me realize again how short life can be — how a person can be alive one day and gone the next. While I still believe that a person will not die unless it’s his time to die (and God only knows when that is), I now feel sad for the people who had to go in a way like this. :(
All I can do right now is pray. My prayers are with all the people and families affected by this tragedy. Keep safe everyone.