I’ve been wanting to make a graduation post for the past month already but I keep on stopping myself for the fear of jinxing the graduation by blabbing about it so much. Of course, that is just silly because the victory has been won already even before I started college (thank You for that!), but there’s just more drama when I write something nearer to the actual date. :P
Once again, I proved that the college I chose four years ago is really indeed so far away from where I live. My feet still ached from walking all day in heels yesterday. I am not a heels person. However, I should start getting used to it, right? When I start working, that is. Anyway, yesterday was our mandatory pre-graduation meet up in the school. It was the day when we pick up our graduation attire (as can be seen by the previous post), get class pictures taken, attend baccalaureate mass and rehearse for graduation. Talk about a tiring day — as Marvs mentioned in his blog, it was (almost) chaos. It was nice seeing my batchmates again, but it was just too tiring especially after my body got used to all the bumming I’ve been doing here.
So this is it. Well, almost it. Graduation ceremonies aren’t until Saturday, and though I am not really looking forward to wearing heeled shoes again, I am quite excited to get the feel of the ceremonies myself, as well as get this over with. I don’t know if I will shed some tears then — I feel like I won’t, but who knows? I could be a crybaby if I want to. But I bet, if I do shed some tears, it wouldn’t be mostly because of sadness but more of joy. Joy because it’s finally and truly over.
Let me say it again because I love saying it: It’s over. :)
Ah, there they are, the emotions that I’ve been looking for for the past minutes while blogging. The overwhelming sense of being thrown into the real world is now surfacing, together with the lost feeling that makes insert a thought bubble over my head that says, “What now?”
I’d spare you the details of all the thoughts that run into my mind — like me being scared, wanting to run around like a headless chicken, at the same time overwhelmed at all the choices and decisions that I have to make and just wanting everything to go back to where it was before, snuggling back into my comfort zones where I knew every nook and cranny and nothing will ever surprise me. That kind of thing, you know?
Wait, I just shared what I said I wouldn’t, didn’t I? Ooops.
But yes, I do feel those, and I guess every graduate feels that way too. Suddenly I feel like I’m so…ignorant, you know? Inadequate. Like no company would ever accept me for a job. It’s like a voice inside my head is telling me that I should have tried harder the past four years so I would have made better marks than I have now, so I would have something to put in my resume once I start applying. Of course, I know grades aren’t everything, but who am I to say that in the world of things I don’t know about yet?
Maybe a few months later, I would be reading this post again and laugh at how insecure and unsure I sound. Hopefully, I do. Because if I look at this post again after a few months and still feel the same…then that means I haven’t been doing anything to make myself better. And that’s just sad.
Okay, I’ll stop pouting and worrying now. Why worry? I have a Big God who I know is taking care of me and will never ever leave me. The knowledge of that alone is enough for me to stop worrying. :)
Anyway. Today, I got my hair straightened again after two years of not having it treated that way. I was supposed to get bangs and all, but I realized that if I get bangs and then get my hair blow-dried, it would look good at first. I might even pass for “cute”. Haha. But when I take a bath and wet my hair…how would I look? Semi-wavy/frizzy hair with bangs. Huh. I can’t imagine.
Or maybe it’s because of my lack of creativity and fashion sense that made me go back to my frosh year hairstyle.
Nevertheless, I don’t mind. Straight hair still looks nice on me as far as I can say. Though I have to admit (again) that I grew heavier and pudgier for the past months. That I should find a way to lose.
While my hair was being treated and my toenails being pedicured, I got myself a list of things to do/work on while I’m frictionally unemployed:
- Be a bit more girly. I shall wear heels a bit more often so my feet would get used to them. I will start looking for styles that look good on me other than jeans-shirt-sneaks combo.
- Practice driving more. By November I should be able to drive in EDSA without feeling like I’d get into a car crash any moment. :P
- Learn to cook actual dishes. Prito-queen no more.
- Practice programming in PHP. And learn other programming languages. Okay, at least read about them. (geek!)
- Be updated about news in my field (Computers, Technology, Education, Multimedia). (geek!)
- Get in touch with old friends and catch up on old times.
- Learn how to iron clothes properly. Not counting handkerchiefs.
- Lose weight and acquire a healthier lifestyle (i.e. stop consuming too much sugar and MSG, refrain from fastfood and stop eating snacks at any time of the day). I don’t really want to resort to using thermogenic fat burners to lose all these flabs, unless it’s absolutely necessary. So healthier lifestyle, it is!
One final realization before I end this long post: I love tuna sandwich. Someday I will make my own recipe of tuna salad spread and that will be what I will pass down the generations. Haha. :P
Good night. :)