Tag Archives: relationships

Dear Diary, In His Steps

Antagonism

My friend Gel and I were talking yesterday after she said something about Facebook delivering bad news to her about some friends. After learning the news, I felt sad too because they were also my friends. :( Then we got to discussing other situations, which ended up with us talking about how we are as friends and how we were as Christians.

Sometimes I can’t help but feel like I’m an antagonist, especially when it comes to other people’s relationships. Like, say, if a friend got into a relationship too hastily. Or if a friend is leaving other people for a guy or a girl. Or if a friend is too focused on something that he/she is missing other things in the process. I hope I’m not being selfish, but sometimes I just get this gut feel that something isn’t right, or something will not turn out right. Ever had that feeling? Sometimes I’d like to think I’m prophetic. It’s not exact science like Phentermine 37.5; sometimes I think I just happen to have good instincts.

Anyway, I can’t help but feel bad about feeling those things though. I feel those things because I am concerned, but I never had the guts to say them out loud, in fear of being labeled as jealous, or again, an antagonist. Kontra bida. Sometimes I wonder if I feel those things because I am just envious of their situation (especially when it comes to love related matters), or if there is really sound reason to why I am feeling that way. Still, I never had the guts to voice those concerns out loud. More often than not, I end up hiding, because I don’t know if I can talk to the person without saying anything wrong. When things fall apart, I am always there to help my friend…but sometimes I wonder if that is too late. If I had said something before, would it have lessened the blow to my friend?

I don’t think I’ll ever know the answer. But the thing I always, always have to remember is it’s better to be loving than to be right. I think I just have to remember and discern which is the more loving thing to do than what is right. If there’s anything that I should do first, it’s to love. Doesn’t matter if I’m wrong or the other person is wrong, or whatever. I must always, always choose to love.

Because in the long run, whatever they are going through, whatever junk they have stored, I know I have something in me, too, that is junk. Maybe even bigger than theirs. So I really have no right whatsoever to say what is right; I can only just love.

Reposting a quote from an old post, because it fits:

“And remember this…the junk in your life and the junk in [his] life aren’t really all that different when you compare them to the holiness of the One who forgives them both. They’re both just pretty much junk.”
– Jake Phillips to his daughter Savannah, Savannah by the Sea, p. 256

Have a blessed Wednesday, everyone.

In His Steps

Taking Responsibility

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“That’s what the right person does. But they don’t create it. Only the Creator can create…You’ve got to deal with your heart. Because until you can be trusted with your own heart, you can’t be trusted with someone else’s.”
– Savannah Philips, to her best friend Paige Long, Savannah by the Sea, p.300

The past couple of days, a friend and I have been talking about something we have stopped talking about for a while now: our love lives. Or lack thereof. :P Note that we stopped talking about it. Sure, we teased each other about it, but it has been a long time since we talked about it in a serious sense.

Let me give you a background of our little group. Out of the four of us, only one of us is currently in a relationship. One is still not allowed to have a relationship, while two of us are already “legal” but alas, we’re still NBSB (No Boyfriend Since Birth). And there’s still no one in sight who will take that status away.

I’m not complaining about that, really. Ever since I graduated, I more or less decided that I’m not ready for any relationship yet. I feel and know that I still have a lot of growing up to do before I can get into one. Of course, I want whoever that is to be the one I’m going to end up with forever, right? So I know I gotta be prepared for this, mehn. Like know how to cook a complete meal, clean the house from top to bottom, travel, travel, travel and all that.

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Dear Diary, In His Steps

Skimming the Surface

Observation is a more powerful force than you could possibly reckon: the invisible, the overlooked, and the unobserved are those that are most in danger of reaching the end of the spectrum. They lose the last of their light. From there, anything can happen…Lives altered forever by you, by the simple effect of being present…by entering the light, by joining the dance.
– Mrs. Landing God, Joan of Arcadia (source: Television without Pity)

Can I just say that I’m sick of this layout already? I look forward to the upcoming Holy Week break to get working on a newer (and less pink) layout. Something that will last longer, yes?

The quote up there is from one of my favorite Joan of Arcadia episodes, the one where God told Joan to ask Ramsay the bully to the dance which put her life in danger but saved a lot more people even if it meant Ramsay had to go to jail. Joan thought she failed, but God told her otherwise, saying that she did exactly what He wanted her to do: to be present. To observe. To see things and notice the unnoticed. In this episode, viewers are taught how valuable our presence is.

Something hit me last Friday, hence the semi-emotional cryptic entry. ((Which wasn’t so cryptic according to some of my friends)) Yes, it’s about work and it basically made me want to get out of here — and I mean ASAP. What I mean with “here,” well, it’s for me to know and for you to find out. Ask me, I might just tell. Might. :p

Continue reading Skimming the Surface →