Tag Archives: Oswald Chambers

Dear Diary, In His Steps

Last Day of 2008

Even after spending up to midnight yesterday cleaning up this site, setting up Wordplay (for 2009!) and my brother’s website, I woke up almost in time today, off by an hour on my alarm. Heh, snooze buttons are evil, I tell you! But at least I don’t feel like my day is going to be wasted. :) I hope I can keep this up for the next year.

It turns out I won’t be spending New Year at home but at the condo, where we’ll be able to watch fireworks and such at the rooftop. This means I can go to the gym tomorrow morning (yeeees I’m turning over a new leaf — start early!), but it also means the midnight introspection and long prayer/journal times that I do literally at the start of the new year (as in 12 midnight) won’t be done in the privacy of my bedroom. But it’s okay. That only means I have to get creative.

Honestly, I feel kind of bad because I did not get to finish everything I listed here. I might be able to cross out two more from the list there…but the others will just have to be finished by next year, or at least, before I go back to work on Monday. And speaking of which…I still don’t feel like going back to work on Monday. Who’s with me? But, like everyone always say at the end of vacations: time to face reality. Then again, not yet. ;)

I’m rambling, I know. I may not be able to post again until tomorrow, where the year officially ends in 9 (at least in my timezone that is), and a new year and month will be added in my archives down there…so let me share the last reflection from Oswald Chambers’ My Utmost For His Highest. I hardly read this one this year, but I always liked the reading for the last year. No matter how blah and apprehensive I feel about the upcoming year because of all its challenges, somehow this brings me comfort because of the truth it carries. So I leave you with this reflection as the last hours of 2008 tick by (did I say that right?).

YESTERDAY
December 31
My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers

“You shall not go out with haste…for the Lord will go before you, and the God of Israel will be your rear guard.” (Isaiah 52:12)

Security from Yesterday. “…God requires an account of what is past” (Ecclesiastes 3:15). At the end of the year we turn with eagerness to all that God has for the future and yet anxiety is apt to arise when we remember our yesterdays. Our present enjoyment of God’s grace tends to be lessened by the memory of yesterday’s sins and blunders. But God is the God of our yesterdays, and He allows the memory of them to turn the past into a ministry of spiritual growth for our future. God reminds us of the past to protect us from a very shallow security in the present.

Security for Tomorrow. “…the Lord will go before you…” This is a gracious revelation — that God will send His forces out where we have failed to do so. He will keep watch so that we will not be tripped up again by the same failures, as would undoubtedly happen if He were not our “rear guard.” And God’s hand reaches back to the past, settling all the claims against our conscience.

Security for Today. “You shall not go out with haste…” As we go forth into the coming year, let it not be in the haste of impetuous, forgetful delight, nor with the quickness of impulsive thoughtlessness. But let us go out with the patient power of knowing that the God of Israel will go before us. Our yesterdays hold broken and irreversible things for us. It is true tha we have lost opportunities that will never return, but God can transform this destructive anxiety into a constructive thoughtfulness for the future. Let the past res, but let it rest in the sweet embrace of Christ.

Leave the broken, irreversible past in His hands, and step out into the invincible future with Him.

Goodbye soon, 2008. Hello, 2009. I hope I’m ready for you. :)

Big, Fun and Scary Things

Goals for 2008

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Blogging is more fun if you have a new layout, yes?

Just like last year, I spent the first hour of 2008 in reflection and prayer. I admit my prayer time is very different from last year’s (sometimes even non-existent…hay), but this year’s first ever prayer time is still a prayer nonetheless.

I re-read my journal from last year and I just have to laugh at my old goals. I won’t list them down anymore since I hardly fulfilled any (see, 2007 was a difficult year), but this year, I want it to be different. As what Bo Sanchez said in today’s Didache reflection: Friend, write your dreams! So…here we go!

2008 Goals (The Year of Big, Fun and Scary Stuff):

  • Go to Sydney for World Youth Day 2008. The thought of this scares and excites me, and a part of me feels like I should not push through. Sometimes I feel too lazy to save up or plan…but this is the first BIG trip I’m planning for myself. I want this. And by God’s grace, I will get to Sydney…with friends, of course. :) I heard the screening for Philippine delegates (the sponsored ones, I think?) is over, but I can still go! This just means I’m going to have to be stricter with my budget (say goodbye to any plans of getting anything big and expensive, like plasma tv lifts) and do a lot of planning. Hmm.
  • And speaking of traveling…visit at least two other places in the Philippines. 2007 was a year without beaches, or special trips out of town, except for Naga and Singapore. This year, I want to be able to go to out of town trips around the country. Not necessarily the beach, but at least somewhere outside Manila. Oh, and properly document it.
  • Drive on my own. This has been on my goals list since I learned how to drive, and I haven’t done it. Ehehe. The only driving I do lately is take out the car from the garage. I just keep on having visions of myself crashing whenever I drive. Or bumping someone. Bah. This year, I promise to practice driving whenever I can and to get rid of all the bad visions and trust that I would not get into a car crash nor scratch the car or be the cause of traffic.
  • Lose at least 20 lbs and/or 3 inches. I’d say 50 lbs, but I figured I should start slow. I will eat healthier: more fruits and veggies, less meat. I will stop eating too many sweets and fast food, drink more water and juice instead of soda. And I will exercise. Time to get those boxing gloves out again!
  • Learn how to jumprope. My coordination skills are so blah. This year, I promise to master the jumprope!
  • Finish my 2006 NaNoWriMo novel. Because I missed writing chicklit last year and I really want to finish Rain’s story.
  • Establish the PinoyWrimo community and bring attendance to events to at least 20 people. After the success of last year’s events, this year should be better, right? :)
  • Read at least 50 books in one year, and review at least half of it. Hello, 50 book challenge! This means I’ll be reviewing more books come 2008.
  • Reward myself with new clothes/shoes every month. This is in connection with what I elaborated with in this post. Yes, this is a goal, because I am not a “shopper”, even if I am a girl. I’d rather spend my money on food or books, instead of this one, really.
  • Revive Godchicks. The group of girls are okay, but the website is dying. ^^;
  • Start my own blog hosting/hosting business. I did not sign up for Dreamhost for nothing. :)
  • Bake any one of the following: apple pie, double-layered cake or cheesecake. It’s time to expand my baking abilities, yes?
  • Try/learn something new. What “something” is, it’s yet to be determined. New food, new sport, new place, new anything. I’ll have to make a list of this after this year’s over. :P
  • Give time for Gawad Kalinga. I read the company’s report on GK for last year and I got psyched again. This year, I’ll volunteer for Gawad Kalinga again, and bring some teammates as well. :)
  • Renew my prayer time and grow in my faith. In what way I will accomplish that, I have no idea. But I will do my best to attend first Wednesday and first Friday mass and confess at least every two months.

And in an attempt to watch over these goals (which I bet will still grow), I created a new category just for this one to keep track of my goals. Oh wait, one more goal:

  • Document everything. Bring my camera everywhere to “capture moments” and write about everything I can (online and offline).

There you go. Like I said, this list will most probably grow and I will favorite this so I can keep track. Also, feel free to bug me about these goals every now and then, especially if I’m not posting anything about them. :D

Before the first day of 2008 ends, I’d like to share something from Pareng Oswald (Chambers), in his My Utmost for His Highest devotional. I wrote this in my journal last year, and I wrote it again this year because it’s beautiful:

It is true that we have lost opportunities that will never return, but God can transform this destructive anxiety into a constructive thoughtfulness for the future. Let the past rest, but let it rest in the sweet embrace of God. Leave the broken, irreversible past in His hands and step out into the invincible future with Him.

Good night everyone!

Dear Diary, In His Steps

Skimming the Surface

Observation is a more powerful force than you could possibly reckon: the invisible, the overlooked, and the unobserved are those that are most in danger of reaching the end of the spectrum. They lose the last of their light. From there, anything can happen…Lives altered forever by you, by the simple effect of being present…by entering the light, by joining the dance.
– Mrs. Landing God, Joan of Arcadia (source: Television without Pity)

Can I just say that I’m sick of this layout already? I look forward to the upcoming Holy Week break to get working on a newer (and less pink) layout. Something that will last longer, yes?

The quote up there is from one of my favorite Joan of Arcadia episodes, the one where God told Joan to ask Ramsay the bully to the dance which put her life in danger but saved a lot more people even if it meant Ramsay had to go to jail. Joan thought she failed, but God told her otherwise, saying that she did exactly what He wanted her to do: to be present. To observe. To see things and notice the unnoticed. In this episode, viewers are taught how valuable our presence is.

Something hit me last Friday, hence the semi-emotional cryptic entry. ((Which wasn’t so cryptic according to some of my friends)) Yes, it’s about work and it basically made me want to get out of here — and I mean ASAP. What I mean with “here,” well, it’s for me to know and for you to find out. Ask me, I might just tell. Might. :p

Continue reading Skimming the Surface →

In His Steps

MUfHH: Are You Ready to Be Offered?

My Utmost for His Highest (abbreviated to MUfHH by yours truly) by Oswald Chambers is one of the devotionals I read every morning during my prayer time. I love it how Mr. Chambers (or as I like to call him, Pareng Oswald ;p) can be so profound and direct at the same time. Sometimes his reflections can be a bit deep and most of the times they pierce straight into the heart and soul, but they are great insights nonetheless.

Anyway, from time to time, I’d be sharing some of the reflections that can be found in this book in this blog because the messages I got there are just too valuable not to share. :) They’re the kind of things you read that you want to highlight all over because hit you straight on. In common language, swak na swak. :P And here’s today’s reflection, which definitely hits the spot.

ARE YOU READY TO BE OFFERED?

“I am already being poured out as a drink offering.” 2 Timothy 4:6 (R. V. Marg.)

“I am ready to be offered.” It is a transaction of will, not of sentiment. Tell God you are ready to be offered; then let the consequences be what they may, there is no strand of complaint now, no matter what God chooses. God puts you through the crisis in private, no one person can help an other. Externally the life may be the same; the difference is in will. Go through the crisis in will, then when it comes externally there will be no thought of the cost. If you do not transact in will with God along this line, you will end in awakening sympathy for yourself.

“Bind the sacrifice with cords, even unto the horns of the altar.” The altar means fire – burning and purification and insulation for one purpose only, the destruction of every affinity that God has not started and of every attachment that is not an attachment in God. You do not destroy it, God does; you bind the sacrifice to the horns of the altar; and see that you do not give way to self-pity when the fire begins. After this way of fire, there is nothing that oppresses or depresses. When the crisis arises, you realize that things cannot touch you as they used to do. What is your way of fire?

Tell God you are ready to be offered, and God will prove Himself to be all you ever dreamed He would be.

* February 6, 2007 reflection from My Utmost for His Highest, emphasis mine.

This particular reflection reminds me of God.com by Alexander Langteoux, and Elijah’s sacrifice on Mt. Carmel (more to this on another post). This reflection obviously does not give a picture of a happy kind of faith, where one gets what he/she asks for in prayer. At first, our spiritual life would start like that, until God tells you it’s time to mature. And that’s where the struggle, the confusion and the sacrifices come in.

I think this is what most people avoid in their spiritual life, the one that comes after the initial wonder of discovering who God is. After a period of “bliss”, God brings our faith into a deeper level. This is the time when God asks one to do two things that I think are the hardest things to do: to let go and to trust. You may say that it’s easy to do that, like the way you let go of a top that doesn’t fit you anymore or the way you trust a friend by telling him a secret. But what if you have to let go of someone you loved for a long time because the relationship isn’t working out? Would you be able to let go? Or what if you had to tell your friend something about your past that you are so ashamed of, one that could potentially destroy your friendship? Would you be able to trust your friend even if he urges you to do so?

For the past few weeks, I’ve been learning that faith is hardly comfortable at all. It’s easy to tell God that you have faith in Him but to really put it into action is hard. To let go of yourself and to trust in Him fully is never comfortable. We tend to think that when we put our lives in God’s hands, our lives would become easier and it would be smooth sailing all the way. But it’s not. One of the major things we have to learn about believing in God is that it requires sacrifices. Although God loves just just the way we are, if we really want to follow Him, it would require sacrifice on our part. We cannot follow Him and our selfish desires at the same time. As we grow in our faith, we have to let go of our other baggages and learn to trust in Him. We have to let go of our former selves and trust that God is in control, that He won’t let anything harm us.

It may sound easy as I write it and you read it, but actually trying to live that out is, well, hard. I’m still struggling with this, and just as when I thought all my selfish parts have been “burned”, as Oswald Chambers said, I find out there’s more. The more you truly believe in Him, the more you — the selfish, conceited and nasty you — are destroyed to make room for the new person He is making you to be. This is the fire that comes to our lives once we decide to truly follow Him, the fire that burns not us, but the selfishness that lives within us.

I know this sounds all negative and all, but look at the last line of the reflection: Tell God you are ready to be offered, and God will prove Himself to be all you ever dreamed He would be. Think of your deepest, greatest and most wished-for dream, the one that makes you sigh and say, “Someday.” Think of your sincerest hopes, the ones where you say, “I promise to be good if only this would happen to me/if only I could get this.” Now think of that, and think of what you will do when you fulfill those dreams, those hopes. Think of the joy you felt on Christmas morning as a kid, and multiply that a thousand fold. That is just a taste of what God has in store for you, for me, for us. The pain that you and I experienced, am experiencing and will experience as the fire refines us is nothing compared to what He has in store for us after.

Letting go. Trust. Sacrifice. JOY. Are you ready to be offered?

Have a nice day, everyone. :)