So…Australia. Sydney, specifically.

No, I’m not planning to migrate there or anything. But it’s no secret that I’ve been planning to go to the World Youth Day 2008 since last year. And I’ve been planning to go to Sydney since November of 2006. It’s a tall dream, which I think (like…50/50) I can afford on my own and something I’ve been wanting to do for the longest time but is only having the courage to do so now. At least, start something.

But the thing is…I don’t know who I’ll be going with. See, I heard last month that the screening for Philippine delegates was finished last November. There were no announcements, no nothing. I have no idea if anyone is planning to go from SFC, I have no idea if there are any other groups planning to go. My friend from Singapore offered me a spot at their group, which means I’d be going to Singapore first, but then I think it fell through since it would be easier if I come from here since I’ll be getting my visa here too.

So here’s the question: should I go through with it?

It’s weird that I’m suddenly having doubts like this all of a sudden. It just feels like such a big thing that I have to tackle on my own. I mean, my parents are not going with me (although my dad did say he might be able to go to Sydney at the same time so we could see each other), and yes, some people expressed their interest. I think I can afford it…I’ve got enough money saved for registration, which means I only have to save money for airfare (which, when I checked, could go as high as Php80,000!!!) and pocket money. I have no problem with taking a leave too. But that’s just…me. How about the people I’m planning to go with? I know I shouldn’t worry too much about it, but I can’t help it. Going to Australia is expensive. It’s not as cheap as buying a pair of cufflinks, you know? What if they back out all of a sudden? I’ve contemplated on doing this thing alone…which is scary, of course, but it is an adventure. Kind of like, backpacking in another country…which is really extreme for someone like me.

Plus, I feel like it’s such a huge burden to think of and save for for the next six months, and the people who expressed their interest are relying on me to get the ball rolling…and it’s such a huge responsibility, you know?

This is a small thing (hence the small text), but also, all the people who expressed their interest are mostly guy friends…not that I mind, but can I have some female company, please? Anyone?

So should I go through? I told myself I’d register as a pilgrim before this month ends, so I can at least start fixing my papers for my visa before my birthday. I’m just afraid that I might do all these planning but end up not going and be disappointed and all. That, and I’m afraid I might end up being in debt after all the travel costs if I do get to go.

Hay. But I want to. Sydney will always be there, I know, but it’s not every year that the World Youth Day will be celebrated there. Although there would be other World Youth Day celebrations which I can still go to, but this is…my dream.

I’d be happy even if I could just get to hear Pope Benedict XVI’s mass on the last day.

Hay. I’ve got to take Erwin Raphael McManus’ advice and take initiative instead of waiting for something to happen. Nothing’s gonna happen if I don’t start doing something, right? So first thing to do when I get free time tomorrow is to compile all information I can get (events at WYD 2008, papers for Visa and financial stuff) and send it to friends who are interested.

Pray for me, please? :) Thank you. :)