Twenty Four

day sixteen.

Twenty four oceans
Twenty four skies
Twenty four failures
Twenty four tries
Twenty four finds me
In twenty-fourth place
Twenty four drop outs
At the end of the day
Life is not what I thought it was
Twenty four hours ago

And, happy birthday!

The thing with all the different happenings in the past few days is that it made me feel that I’ve been celebrating my birthday for so long already, starting Saturday, that finally getting to my actual birthday felt…well, like it’s not new anymore. Yes, I’m still excited, but it’s kind of winding down, and well…in a way, I’m glad, even if I do feel a bit sad.

My phone has been ringing with messages all day, friends are buzzing me on YM and my Facebook wall is filled with messages that I have yet to reply to. I just had lunch with my teammates, got a cake and a cute gift from my goddaughter, and it’s a relatively nice day. I look forward to tonight when I have dinner with my family and get one of the shoes I’ve been wanting to get since last month. This year’s birthday has been all about shoes, I wonder what that means. :)

I wore a dress today, too. And although it isn’t a new dress, it’s probably the most comfortable I’ve felt wearing something girly in the longest time. Even if I ate a lot during lunch (Shakey’s! ♥), I still feel pretty. Beautiful, even. :) Again, I love wearing dresses. And I’m still looking for more clothes. The reward of losing weight. :)

Earlier today, I got to talk to an old friend, who finally remembered my birthday on time. It’s a nice way to start the new year, and somehow it gives me hope that all is not lost between the two of us. She asked me what I feel now that I’m a year older, and as I thought about it, I realized that I don’t feel as lost, as opposed to how I felt a couple of years ago. I can’t say that I’m already rooted or in Maslow’s terms, I’ve reached self-actualization…but I guess it’s safe to say that I’ve gotten rid of some of my struggles and baggage from last year.

Still I’m singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And I’m not who I thought I was twenty four hours ago
Still I’m singing Spirit take me up in arms with You

Twenty four reasons to admit that I’m wrong
With all my excuses still twenty four strong

See I’m not copping out not copping out not copping out
When You’re raising the dead in me

So what’s it going to be on my 24th? I’m seeing changes, lots of it. My brother’s wedding, for one. And renovation of our house. And I’m betting there’s more, because life likes throwing curve balls…but I’d like to believe that I can react faster this time. :)

And You’re raising these twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts
But I want to be one today
Centered and true

I’m not afraid of these changes. At least, not as much as I used to be. The thought kind of makes me uneasy…but my God is bigger. And I have been blessed with great family and awesome friends, and I know that they’ll always be there and God will always be there, and there’s nothing that can separate me from His love. No calamity, tragedy, guy, loneliness, even happiness can ever separate me from His love. Ever.

I want to see miracles, see the world change
Wrestled the angel, for more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause
I’m singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And You’re raising the dead in me
Twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts.

This year, I’m going to be open to opportunities. I’m going to stay positive and see the good thing in every situation. I’m going to believe that my 24th year in this life is going to be an awesome year. Yes?

Thanks to everyone who made this day special. ♥ You guys are equally awesome. Now I’m off to hear mass. :)

Edited to add: To celebrate my birthday online…I created a account! Ask me anything!