Also known as: More birthday realizations
So it’s the last day of March. I always feel sad when my favorite month is ending because…well, it’s my favorite month. But I also feel hopeful, because the end of March means it’s April, and April means summer, at least where I live. And despite the heat in Manila, I love summer. So yeah, March then summer? Not too bad.
Ever since that conversation with my college friends early in January, turning twenty-five has become somewhat of a big deal for me. The age itself is already a big thing, I know, but hearing from a trusted friend that major decisions in life usually come at that age…well, it’s become even more. I wish I could have prepared more for turning 25, but unfortunately, I didn’t. By prepare, I mean write journal entries, reflect and all that, but as always, work got in the way. What’s new?
My 24th year, in retrospect
It’s strange, because like my 2010, it’s kind of hard to remember. This is strange for me, because people know me as the human calendar when I was younger. But maybe, growing up stopped me from doing that — remembering every single detail. Instead, the moments blend together, moving from minutes to days to months that they just look like one big and beautiful mess. Not that I mind — life’s messy, anyway, and I know it’s not over yet.
I’d like to believe that my 24th year served to be a year where I learned how to accept changes and work with them instead of hiding from them. I had to laugh at my birthday entry last year — I was so optimistic. Not that I’m more negative this year, but you know, it’s just nice to know that what I wrote last year still rings pretty true to how I felt at the turn of my year.
So it was changes. I said I would be more open to them. In a way, I guess I am, and I’d like to believe I know more about myself and what I want (well, sort of). I know I have a great family and I have awesome friends. I know what I need to do to be okay and bounce back in the face of something bad happening.
I have been humbled so many times, and I realize again and again that I have a good God. He is good. Sometimes, even if I believe in Him, I forget that He is good. Remembering that, learning that again, taught me to trust in Him more. I still fail so many times, but I’m trying. And that’s the point, right?
My 24th year wasn’t that loud, just like my 2010 was. It went by quietly, but still beautiful in its own way. And I can’t really ask for more. :)
My 24th year’s theme song was obviously, Twenty Four by Switchfoot. As I turned 25 this year, I was thinking of what song I could use for this year. It’s not a requirement, but it’s always nice to have one, you know?
And I got it. Another one from Switchfoot.
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be?
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose
Let’s face it: I’m not getting younger. I think the thing I stress about being 25 is the fact that I’m in my mid-20’s. It’s still young, but it’s not really that young anymore. It’s not like being 21 or 22, or 23, even. Being 25 means I’m close to being included in the “late-20’s” group. I’m an adult, and there’s no turning back.
Furthermore, like what my friend says, 25 is usually the year of major decisions. I don’t really know what major decision I need to make in my life, but I want to be ready. I know being ready is highly subjective, but I want to be in that state where I can be ready. Whatever it is, whatever I need to do, I’m ready.
This year, I want to be able to answer YES to that question Switchfoot poses: Are you who you want to be? Is it everything you dreamed that it would be?
I don’t know how hard that would be. But I know God is good. And I know He’s on my side. And really, that’s enough.
The lesson on asking
But wait, there’s more.
I find it funny that the Gospel on my birthday had this verse:
â€œAsk and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” (Matthew 7:7-8)
Funny, because I was just thinking about the Law of Attraction a few weeks before the birthday. As if God’s confirming/affirming my thoughts, that was the message for the day. I am amazed at how personal He can be with something that so many people read everyday.
I’ve never been too comfortable with asking, because sometimes I feel like I’m interfering with God’s plans. Sometimes I feel like I’m pressing on the wrong things to Him, and I should always pray for His will.
But going back a few years, I know that God’s will is my deepest desires. And God takes pleasure in my asking. So…why not ask, right? There’s nothing wrong in asking, and I’d like to believe that God also takes pleasure in making me happy. (He takes pleasure in making you happy, too, so don’t worry :) ).
And besides, remember what Pope John Paul II said? It is Jesus that you seek when you dream of happiness. I dream of happiness, I ask for happiness. I will ask God, boldly, this time, and pray that in the process of asking, I get to know Him more, and I get to serve Him better. God is good and God is love. Who can go wrong with a God like that?
So, Twenty Five
I don’t know what’s in store for me this year. I don’t know what’s going to happen. But I refuse to go through life blindly. This is my life, and I’m going to be who I want to be. It is going to be everything I dreamed that it would be. By God’s grace, I claim that my 25th year will be
just as even more awesome than the last. :)