Tag Archives: God

Obey and Enjoy

“Tell all fearful souls, ‘Courage! Take heart! God is here, right here, on his way to put things right and redress all wrongs. He’s on His way! He’ll save you!'”
– Isaiah 35:4 (The Message)

It’s moments like these that I realize that I’m not as much as I think I am. I’m not as nice, as friendly, as “big shot” as I used to think I was. I’m not putting on any airs; but I admit that I used to think that I am, well, that much. Without being boastful, that is. I tend to keep it to myself, telling myself that I’m special, that people would love to have me as a friend and those who don’t…well, it’s their loss.

Okay, to myself, I’m full of pride, but I try not to show it to other people. That’s why when I get disappointed, it hurts twice as much because I hide a big ego. Because of that, I’ve lost something that I know is an important part of me.

See, I’m not really much of a big dreamer. I’d like it if someone dreams with me, because at the back of my mind, I know that I could at least rely on that person to dream the big dream while I work in the background. I’m somewhat of a control freak. I like it when things are under my control, when things are predictable. I don’t really jump into things unless I am about 75% sure that I can do it. My being a control freak stopped me from dreaming big dreams for myself. I guess you could say that the bigger the dream, the bigger the risk, and I don’t want that risk.

Lately…the control freak is panicking because the control freak can’t seem to take things under her control. I’ve tried to lose my being a control freak and live a bit spontaneously but it’s hard. I am not a spontaneous person. I try to be, but I end up looking silly. And big dreams tend to be spontaneous…and I’m afraid to look silly after dreaming big dreams. It’s not that I don’t think it’s useful to make them…it’s just that I can’t bear the possibility of not reaching it and disappointing myself. And that just sucks.

It’s funny how God chooses these moments to really get to your heart. I read an email before about how God keeps you in certain places just so He could get ahold of your attention. Holding patterns, as we call them. It’s like what God did to Jonah: Jonah was afraid to obey God’s command, so he ran away and he got so messed up that God had to bring him inside the belly of the whale just so He could talk to Jonah without any other distraction.

I believe God works in that way for everyone of us. Me included. Sometimes being in a holding pattern is hard because I don’t even recognize it. Right now, I feel that God is urging me to move forward, to take the risk. To really leave my comfort zone. To be more of the person that I used to think I am. To grow. Not to be afraid of the opportunities that are being presented in front of me for fear of looking silly or being disappointed. To trust Him fully in this part of my life. Not to give up. And most of all, to start dreaming BIG. Because like what Kuya Jomai said last night…God is a big time God.

After all, He has promised that He will take care of me. And if there’s anyone who has ever been true to His promise, it’s Him. God.

When we decide to obey God and follow His will, we shouldn’t forget one thing that obedience also entails: to enjoy. God won’t lead us to places where we would be asked to obey but end up being miserable. He wants us to OBEY AND ENJOY. I shouldn’t forget the enjoy part, because in this particular phase of my life, I should enjoy every bit of it.

Lord, I’m still scared. There are so many unsure things right now that I just feel like quitting this early. But I’ll follow You. I’ll obey AND enjoy this entire trip, because I know that You’re bringing me higher. Calm my heart Father, that I may stop fearing what tomorrow will bring, but be always trusting that You will never leave me alone. Help me to believe and to dream big dreams that You want to fulfill for me. Help me to take risks, knowing fully that You will never let me get hurt. I love You Lord. ♥

A Nugget of Wisdom from The Lion King

Well, last week wasn’t really a long week, as I predicted last Monday night. Things actually started looking up by Tuesday, and it’s funny how God surprises me by answering my prayers in the most unexpected way and at the most unexpected time. Basta, all I can say is God is good, and I know that I am in very safe hands. :)

I spent the rest of the week reading, and going out with my mom; by Friday, I went to school to support Tuesday on her defense and to meet up with some friends who I haven’t seen for a long time. My brother’s iPod went bye bye (the sad iPod picture showed…it’s cute, even if I know the iPod is dead), talked to friends and then went to the Elim Singles table talk with Happy. It was fun, and half the time Happy, Bea and I were laughing. :P Then I spent two lazy days at home, just reading and watching TV. What a life, eh?

I know this kind of bum life is going to end soon, and I am trying to prepare myself. Or, starting to prepare myself. Thing is, I don’t know how…and I have this thing of “crossing the bridge” when I get there. Tomorrow is a day that I know would change my life (I was thinking of something less drastic, but I realized that tomorrow would probably change my life) and the choice I would make tomorrow morning would determine where I will be for the next two years or so. I’ve been waiting for this, though, but I still can’t help but be kind of scared because it’s a major decision. As in MAJOR. I’m kind of nervous, but as I was praying earlier today, I just let God handle it. After all, it’s useless to worry about tomorrow today, when today has enough worries of its own.

I’ve learned in the past days that it’s more important to deal with what you have now than to worry about what is about to happen. Take note that it’s not wrong to prepare for tomorrow, but it is wrong to keep your eyes on tomorrow and forget to deal with today. So now what I’m learning is to totally banish worrying from my life. As Simba, Pumbaa and Timon said, Hakuna Matata. No worries, because God is in control. I should not worry because God is taking care of me. I shouldn’t worry because I know that God loves me and whatever happens to me is part of His will. I shouldn’t worry because that’s just going to make things worse. You know? Worrying breeds some kind of fear of tomorrow, and God does not want us to live with fear.

Of course, it’s hard, but what matters is I try. :) So why don’t you try it with me? Try removing the word “worry” in your vocabulary for a day. Whenever you find yourself worrying, turn away from it, look to God and remind yourself that God is big enough and He is in control. See what you feel afterward. :)

Altogether now, HAKUNA MATATA! :)