Tag Archives: 30 days

Wanted: Nike's Tessa

September 15, 2009 Tina

Day 15 I interrupt the seriousness of yesterday’s post to make room for something…less serious.

I am totally in love with this bag:

I spotted this bag a month ago when I was looking for a bag and a pair of rubber shoes I could use to go to the gym. I decided to forego buying this bag when I got my shoes because I couldn’t afford it yet. I figured no one would buy this one yet because it’s on display, and who buys expensive bags in Nike anyway?

When I returned a couple of days ago, I saw that they only have the smaller version of the bag on display. I could have bought that one instead, but I wanted a bigger bag, one that I could use for out of town overnight trips, you know?

I checked the Nike Park branch near my office again and asked if they have the bigger version but they don’t! And now I’m quite depressed because I really, really want that bag. Really, really want.

Do I need it? Let me try and justify.

Haha seriously. I don’t really, really need it, but it would be a good kind of comfort for me to have a bag like this so I won’t be carrying Teo over my shoulder and instead bring it in my backpack that hardly feels heavy at all.

Plus it’s so pretty. It has pink interiors too! I want!!!

Now if only I can find one. I’ve got a couple of stores in mind to check out for this one, and I swear, the next time I see it, I will definitely buy it already. Itr couldn’t be harder to find than breeches, right? I’ve got a 10% discount (on selected stores) already because of my Fitness First membership…but if I can get a better deal, why not?

If you find this one in any Nike branch, will you please let me know? Please please please?

After this, it will be my last bag purchase for a long time. I promise. After this, I’ll start buying clothes. Harhar. :P

A more serious post tomorrow, promise!

15/30.

Big, Fun and Scary Things, Dear Diary

Stranger than my Apathy

September 14, 2009 Tina

Day 14 One of the reasons I think that my blog isn’t a household name (haha dream on, Tina!) is because of my apathy. I’m probably one of the most apathetic person when it comes to blogging except for things I care about of course. I mean, I hardly blog about current events, or what’s up with showbiz or whatever unless it’s directly related to me. This is why I hardly post in my “opinion” category, and whenever I post about things related to artists I like, it’s not about what’s up with them, unless I absolutely love them enough to post a lot about them. But for any other thing, I can honestly say that I couldn’t care less.

funny-pictures-care-o-meter-cat — Sometimes I think I am like this.

It’s not a good thing, I know. Back in high school, I used to pride myself in being the “abstainer”. I never used to make an opinion, in fear of getting into arguments. I hated debates, and the most terrifying moment of my life back in high school was when we had to have a debate for English class. I used to think choosing sides is not a way to win anything, and abstaining is always the best way.

And then I came across this quote:

The hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who remain neutral in times of great moral conflict. (Martin Luther King Jr)

Talk about…very shaking. Heh.

Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating, because I don’t really need to give any opinion on everything, and it’s not always a time of great moral conflict (did that sentence make sense?). But for other things, it’s not that I don’t really and truly care…sometimes I’m just too busy to care.

It’s still not a valid excuse. Sometimes A lot of times I feel guilty for not taking a stand on the important things that are happening around us. Sometimes I don’t even take a huge stand on some faith issues. When I do make a stand, I end up trying to be “safe”, which is just the same as the non-confrontational me back then.

I’m going around and around in this post. The point is, I’m the worst person to ask for an opinion. I do have them, but I tend to keep them to myself, and sometimes I don’t bother making one because I feel like its such a bother, and it doesn’t affect me directly.

A good friend once told me that a mature Christian is one who holds a Bible in one hand and a newspaper on the other hand. Most of the times I feel like I’d rather pick up other things than the newspaper. I envy a lot of people who are solid in their opinions and convictions, and I really want to be like that. I try to make myself care, but sometimes it feels like such a lost cause that I end up just focusing on other things that require less opinions, like whetherÂ 4396710 is a type of water filter or what.

I want to change that. I want to get rid of this apathy.

And I have a feeling it will change, soon.

14/30.

Big, Fun and Scary Things, Dear Diary, Thought-Provoking

Regrets

September 13, 2009 Tina

Ah technology. Our landline conked out today for some reason so there’s also no Internet, but I’m thankful for Smart 3G for letting me connect. Connection is a bit fragile though, and not as stable as when I’m at the condo, but I’m not complaining.

Anyway. Today was an adrenaline-rushed filled day. Lately I noticed that I’ve always been the one having to adjust to other people’s schedules, especially when it comes to my gym schedule. I’m all for adjusting for other people to pick the least hassle of all roads…but sometimes it sucks because it ends up being a hassle to me.

Hay. I did survive all the adrenaline rush (leaving me almost knocked out earlier), thank God, but I can’t help but feel a bit disappointed over something that happened…or didn’t happen, rather.

I’d really rather not elaborate on what happened/didn’t happen, but on the feeling. The biggest feeling I have right now is probably regret. You know when you want something and you know you can get it, but certain circumstances just stopped you from getting that thing? That feeling. I can’t help but think of other things that I could have done to make things right, to help me get what I wanted. To change things so it would be different.

But changing it would probably mean the loss of the other good things that happened this day too…so it’s kind of a lose-lose situation. Sort of.

Hay. I may not be making any sense here, but I’m really just trying to sort my feelings out. It sucks, really. Because I can’t do anything about it…except feel sad about it. And then feel a bit annoyed at myself for being sad about it when I shouldn’t.

But if there’s anything I learned early this year…it’s that it’s okay to wallow. At least for a while. So…tonight I’ll wallow. Then tomorrow I’ll stop.

Earlier at mass today, the priest said something that really struck me during the homily: Pain is a gift that nobody wants. How true. There are a lot of necessary pains that should happen for us to grow…and I’m hoping this teensy pain here right now would make me grow too.

I’ll be okay. :) I always am. :)

13/30.

Big, Fun and Scary Things, Dear Diary

Best Friends

September 12, 2009 Tina

Day 12 I was intending to post about my current weight loss achievement, but WordPress in Macy ate my entry, so I’ll post about that another time, when I feel like it again. Or when I reach another significant milestone (hopefully soon!).

So for the past few weeks/months, I’ve been having “gimmick merges”. Meaning, I go out with a friend and then we meet up with another friend and then we meet up with another friend and all of us would end up going out in one gimmick with only me as their common link. It’s fun because my friends all get along and then I can go out with all of them and not worry about leaving other people out or something like that.

This kind of set up made me think a lot, though. One of the things that my teammates tell me when I tell stories about my childhood or high school or college is that I seem to have a lot of best friends. Which is kind of true: I have a best friend back in elementary who is now in Vegas, I have a best friend in high school, I have a best friend in college. I may even have a work best friend but I don’t really label it now.

Sometimes I wonder if the people I call best friends are actually still my best friends, and the people I don’t, are the ones who are my best friends. It’s not about being mean, or giving up the friendship. But you know, people change. I change, they change. Maybe at this particular moment of my life, they’re the ones who were always there, that’s why they were my best friends. But now that some of us have drifted apart, or at least, not in contact so much, we hardly know each other at all.

I’m not sure if I’m making much sense. But wait, what is a best friend anyway? Is it someone who you’re always with? Is it just someone who you can’t imagine your life without? Is it someone who would cry with you and laugh with you and go with you through hell if needed be?

Sometimes I wonder if because I have so many best friends that the term has lost its meaning on me. Maybe I used the term too loosely. You know? Sometimes I feel guilty when another friend calls me his/her best friend when I don’t exactly call him/her that. Except that maybe we really do hang out a lot together, and I know that he/she is one who will stay.

Maybe I’m just overthinking, you know.

Or maybe, it’s okay to have a lot of best friends. :)

12/30.

Big, Fun and Scary Things, Dear Diary, Yum Factor

Pan De .

September 11, 2009 Tina

First: thanks to Marvs for the topic of today’s entry.

Second: If you’re kind of squeamish, feel free to skip this entry.

So today my boss brought some bread from the nearby bakery for us at work. He lives in Marikina, and there’s an abundance of bakeries where they live. He even used to bring us this gigantic pan de sal that looked like the kind of bread that Jesus and his disciples ate back in Jerusalem. Seriously. One time when he brings one again I’ll take a picture.

So anyway, he bought us this bread:

I know everyone who grew up in the 90’s or 80’s (or even earlier) knows this bread. I’m sure you’ve seen this at one point at your small bakeries, and has eaten them at some point, too.

Anyway (again), my boss brought some of this earlier at the request of Earl (I think) and that got all of us munching happily on the bread. I wondered if the red part has some flavor, and apparently there was, but because I’m not much of a cook, I can’t explain that.

But that’s not the point. The point was, at some point during the afternoon, some of us got wondering what this bread was called. I knew it was called something weird, true to the Pinoy style, but I couldn’t remember what it is. Apparently, my teammate Grace knows, but she was keeping mum because it’s really not someone with a queasy stomach would want to know.

Then I asked Marvs and Cors, who I was chatting with earlier, and then Marvs gave me the answer:

Pan de regla.

To those who don’t know what regla means (and again, I warn those people who have queasy stomachs, because you may be grossed out after this), it’s menstrual blood. As in period (hence the title of the post, in case you didn’t get it). To quote (from the source of the photo):

Why Pan de Regla, you asked? Look closely. Red coloring right smack in the middle of bread that looks like a female sanitary napkin.

Trust Filipinos to have a weird sense of humor and call it like this. The real name of this bread is kalihim (loose translation: secretary). The bread is sweet and the red part is moist and sweet, almost like monggo, but not quite (told you I’m bad with flavors).

…I just realized my choice of words may not be right.

Oh. I think that’s the reason why I’ve been wanting to throw up ever since this afternoon. :-& Ugh.

But don’t get me wrong, this bread is good. Classic Pinoy afternoon snack, up in the line of spanish bread (yum yum). But I think I’ll try to forget the name of this one the next time I eat it. Maybe I dwelt on it too much.

11/30.

Big, Fun and Scary Things, Entertaining Angels

Happy Switchyear!

September 10, 2009 Tina

Day 10 This night two years ago, I was in Cuneta Astrodome, screaming/singing my lungs out as Switchfoot rocked the house. :D I was also very tired that day, from lack of sleep and lack of food, because we had to arrange everything for the concert. Wait, let me correct that — I was tired for almost an entire month because of all the ticket selling too! But then again, I don’t think I felt the exhaustion until after the concert.

Switchfoot in Manila (Photo by Andy Barron)

So. Where were you last September 10, 2007? :)

* * *

It’s been two years and that night still ranks as one of my favorite nights. There’s something about the rush of the event, the excitement and the busy-ness of a concert night, not to mention really nice and humble and awesome artists to make a night memorable, you know?

I’m listening to their albums right now, and I have to say — I missed them! Their stay here two years ago was just too short, plus I haven’t been listening to their albums for a while, so this is the right night to listen to them again, me thinks.

And what do you know, they’re releasing a new album soon! Â Hello Hurricane, out November 10, 2009! :)

As a treat, Switchfoot has been hiding copies of their first single, Mess Of Me around the world. I was wondering how it would get to the Philippine shores so I tweeted to them…and what do you know, they’re giving away the single on Twitter, too!

But, there’s a catch. Once they send you the track, you should burn it in a CD and hide it in your area for other people to find and do the same thing too. Kind of like a modern scavenger hunt, only with one item. :)

I was thrilled to get a direct message from Switchfoot, but it took me a few days before I actually got to burn CDs and hide them. Sorry, it’s been a long time since I last burned CDs, and work was horrendous. Anyway, I finally got to burn some CDs before the long weekend. And I only got to find it a hide all of them today (yeah, I know):

Left to right, top to bottom, the CDs are:

In the back issue magazine stand in a small Booksale branch in Sta Lucia East Grand Mall — look for the Jonas Brothers. :P
In between two Stargirl books in National Bookstore Cybermall, in Eastwood, Libis.
Near the beverage area in the Fitness First lounge in Robinson’s Metro East (you’d have to be a member to get in, though).
In the Bearista basket in Starbucks, Eastwood Mall.

I wish I could’ve gone to more places to hide the CDs, because I really wanted to have more people have them, but alas, I am challenged with the transportation. Oh well. But I know more people has them, so keep your eyes peeled, you might just get a free CD. :)

But if you can’t find them, fear not. The guys have made a video for the song and you can watch it here:

[youtube]y9lg7Utdnyk[/youtube]

Told you they’re awesome. :)

Manila misses you already Switchfoot! Come back soon! :)

10/30.

Big, Fun and Scary Things, Entertaining Angels, Randomnities

09-09-09

September 9, 2009 Tina

Day 9 I really planned to do something special today, just because it’s 09/09/09…but I can’t find anything special in my day at all. Except maybe taking another route on the way to work. Or eating at Jollibee again after…what, a month and a half? Or…hiding another CD of Switchfoot’s Mess of Me (more on this tomorrow :D).

I don’t know…I guess my lack of spontaneity makes me suck at things like this. Or, maybe it’s really just the rain that makes me too lazy to think of things to do.

These days are what digital cameras are made for, you know to document the days. But if there’s nothing special happening on that day…what do you do?

Ho-hum. This Tina, whattabore.

Then again last year’s 08-08-08 entry was kind of a bore, too. But at least I had pictures…except I didn’t have any pictures of me.

I swear, 10-10-10 will be different.

But anyway. In the spirit of it being 09-09-09, here are 9 things that…well…just 9 things:

Noynoy to run for president in 2010. This is something I kind of expected already (even if something inside of me is wishing he’d say no…just so it would be more interesting, I guess). I’ll reserve whatever opinions I have for another post. I’m not always apathetic, you know. Which reminds me, I still plan to write more about my being a registered voter.
I Has A Hotdog and friends declared this day as “A Day Without Cats“. I Can Has Cheezburger is not hearing of it though. ;) I’m more of a cat Â person, really, but I’d choose another path today and go for…foxes. Sorry, this image is just too hilarious not to share:
The salad I’m supposed to have for dinner is wilting, I think. I’ve switched to eating salads for dinner because I tend to eat a lot at dinner, and my nutritionist advised me to focus on veggies and fruits for my last meal of the day. I’ve done good so far…I think. I’ll know my results tomorrow. Hopefully, I’ll break the 10-lbs weight loss goal by tomorrow. Wish me luck. :)I should eat this salad now, I think.
This is probably the funniest discovery for the day: The Drama Button. We’ve been playing this randomly for the day — what a way to spice up conversations. :P
Bethany Dillon, one of my favorite female singers, released a new album today! It’s been a while since her Waking Up album, and I can’t wait to hear what she has for this one. Another album I’m looking forward to being released this month is Paramore‘s Brand New Eyes.Â Â I’m in dire need of new music. It’s been a while since I loaded some new songs in my iPod. What albums are you waiting for to be released now? Any recommendations? :)
Speaking of songs…here’s a song suggestion from my friend Cors. Talk about complimenting my waiting posts. Hah.
[youtube]xyzuMqNwJoQ[/youtube]

Lyrics here. But, I will choose to not feel sorry for myself, even if I can relate to the song. In God’s perfect time. Amen.
Speaking of hope, and something like that…here’s a happy little image from icanread. :) It is a happy thought, don’t you think?
Happy Thought :)
I just remembered, there’s something else to look forward to during September: Manila International Book Fair! Wohoo! Bookworm’s dreams! Strangely enough, I don’t really have any to-buy Â books. I’m just planning to go to MIBF this year to scout stuff and see if I can get good deals on some books that I don’t really have to have. Did that make sense? Anyway, while we’re at it…any book recommendations? :) Post away!
Wow, we’re at the ninth item. I didn’t know it was that hard to think of 9 things. :P Since it’s been raining so much lately, here’s a little quote for everyone — I heard it from Lifeteen.com‘s Sunday Sunday Sunday podcast (which you should subscribe to, because it’s awesome :D):

Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass…it’s learning how to dance in the rain.

True. :)

And…that’s nine things. :) There’s only two hours of 09/09/09 left in the Philippines, but I know other parts of the world are just starting their 09/09/09. Wherever you are, I hope you had an interesting one. :)

9/30.

Dear Diary, In His Steps

Memorare

September 8, 2009 Tina

Day 8 Okay, I have another confession to make.

I’m not really big on Marian devotions.

For other people this may not be a big thing, but being a Roman Catholic, I feel like it is. All the Catholics I admire always seems to have a personal devotion to Mary. They’re the people who pray the rosary everyday, who always asks for her intercession, and trust that she brings their petitions to Jesus.

A little sidenote before I continue. Catholics are often criticized for “praying to Mary”, like putting her in the same level as God the Father or Jesus or the Holy Spirit. If you believe that Catholics do that, well you’re in for a surprise: we don’t. Catholics have never prayed to Mary or any of the saints, but prayed with them. Big difference, yes. It’s just like…well, praying with a friend or a family member. You can read more about that here and here. If you have something to say about that, I’d only entertain respectful questions and nothing of the bashing type — because I’m not here for religious debates (and I will never be a part of another one, thankyouverymuch).

Back to topic. So I’m not really big on Marian devotion, even if I grew up reciting the rosary and knowing and learning about Mary’s life. Believe me, I’ve been saturated about it — and I didn’t even study in a Marian school. Even so, after all that, I still didn’t develop a devotion to her, unlike my Mom.

It’s not that I don’t believe in the power of her intercession. I do. It’s just that…well, I guess I’m just more comfortable praying directly to God and Jesus.

Maybe it’s because I still don’t understand how her intercession works miracles. And that argument doesn’t really make sense because (1) I know things like this isn’t something I can understand fully and (2) I ask my friends and family to pray for me every time I need prayers, so this should be just as easy/easier, right?

It’s something that I admit I have to learn. Not because it’s right and it’s something every Catholic should do, but because I believe that God wouldn’t call her to be Jesus’ mother if she wasn’t set apart. And I believe that because she was set apart, she’s someone who can help me in my earthly needs. She may not provide like God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit does, but I’d like to believe she can help in making me grow in God. Right?

I’m not sure if I made a lot of sense in this post…but then again I just want to let some thoughts out. Today is Mary’s birthday, and I thought it’s just right to reflect on the significance of the mother of Jesus in my life, right?

Oh but wait. There’s something else. Back when I was still looking for a new job, I found myself praying a lot because I really, really wanted to get into the company where I am right now. Let me tell you, the week before I was given the job offer was probably the longest and most difficult week ever. Waiting for the interview call was excruciating.

One day during the week when I was waiting to be called for my next interview, I was talking to my friend Tuesday who told me she was praying for me. She was struggling with her prayer time then, but she still tried to pray for me when she can. I remember her saying, “When I got your message, all I could say wasÂ Mama Mary, please take care of her.” Then she told me to pray the Memorare.

I found a copy of the Memorare online and started adding it to my prayers. I stored it in my cellphone’s notes, so I always have it in hand. Suffice to say, I got the job, but I never deleted the Memorare from my phone. There’s something comforting about that prayer, and every now and then I still find myself going back to that prayer and somehow it reminds me that I have another mother who always has my back and would help me knock on heaven’s doors.

Maybe what I really need are open eyes and an open heart to see how Mary can help me in my walk with her Son, Jesus.

Happy birthday, Mama Mary. :)

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided.

Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me.

Amen.

8/30.

Big, Fun and Scary Things, Dear Diary, In His Steps

Praying for Patience

September 7, 2009 Tina

Day 7 Okay, after yesterday’s very emotional entry…I think I’m better now. Nothing thatÂ Strawberry Oreos can’t fix. Or not.

I’ve got half the mind to post about comfort food…but that will just make me hungry, so let’s skip that.

I know. I’ll post more about what really transpired yesterday. In a more positive note this time.

Early this morning, I prayed again. It’s not that I don’t pray at all…I just don’t pray as much as I used to and need to and want to. I’m not proud to admit that, but I admit it because it’s better to admit that I struggle rather than pretend everything is fine, right?

So this morning I prayed again, and I prayed for my heart. It’s not that I don’t pray for my heart either…it just somehow gets pushed to the end of the “Things I Pray For” list. Maybe it’s just because I was brought up to not prioritize my love life first, but focus on the “more important” things: school, career, family, other things. I have never spoken it out loud, but I’ve always found the topic of love life to be some sort of a taboo: it’s something that I really shouldn’t talk about, or focus on too much, or else other people will think that I’m (a) bitter or (b) desperate. Or both.

But of course, I can’t stop talking about it. It’s like a drug, or at least, very hot gossip: whenever someone asks me how I am, the first thing that pops into my mind is the state of my love life. Or lack thereof.

And that’s the thing: there’s nothing happening. Nothing of substance, everything is damn circumstantial, that I’m not even supposed to talk about it. Or, talking about it really just intensifies whatever infatuation there is, and then everything blows over and I’m left with crushed expectations. Then again, crushes are crushing, so I shouldn’t expect more, right?

What’s very frustrating with this fact is when it seems like everyone else around me is in their own happy relationship worlds. I don’t resent them for that, really, and I am also happy for them, but it doesn’t change the fact that it sucks to be the third, fourth, fifth wheel. It doesn’t change the fact that at one point during the day, they will all choose to be with their significant others rather than with me. I don’t blame them for that, and honestly, I think I’d probably do the same. But it doesn’t change the fact that it sucks for the single people.

Where was I? Oh yeah.

Thing is, I prayed for my heart for the first time in I don’t know, months? I asked for forgiveness for allowing myself to succumb to bitterness and envy with other people’s relationships. I asked for the courage and strength to be patient. I asked for the grace to be contented with what I have, and to trust in God’s timing. Because, really, what else can I do?

The word patience suddenly takes on a whole new meaning. I mean, back in college I used to pray for patience too, but I never really understood it as well as I do now. Back then I used to pray for patience because I wanted to be in a relationship even if I’m not supposed to be in one yet (not like there was anyone who was interested in that way, anyway harhar). Now that I am “legal”, I need to pray for patience once again because…well, like I said, I see no sign of anyone interested in the horizon. Y’know?

Depressing? Sometimes it is, especially when I happen to think about that while it’s raining cats and dogs and/or when it’s almost the time of the month. But I could choose to wallow in it (which I did yesterday), or I could choose to think positively, and surrender my loneliness to God who can satisfy me more than anyone else can, and can do more with what I have than I can ever do.

If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? (Evan Almighty)

7/30.

Big, Fun and Scary Things, Dear Diary, In His Steps

The Sacrament of Waiting

September 6, 2009 Tina

Day 6 So I was really intending to write something about bitterness, about how hard it is to wait for whoever it is who will sweep me off my feet. This is one of days when I’m tired of all my “Single Life Rocks!” mantra, when all that I have learned from the past years does nothing to comfort me. I’m just tired of waiting, of having to come second place when it comes to priorities, tired of being the third wheel, tired of guessing how it feels to be in a romantic relationship. Just. Tired.

Okay, that paragraph above is brought to you by my hormones and the rain. Bad combination, I tell you.

*deep breath*

There are a lot of people who tell me that I’m lucky to be single because I won’t be having heartaches, that I shouldn’t look, that whoever he is will come in time, that I’m not ready, that I should pray more, that patience is a virtue, that I shouldn’t worry about things like this but instead make myself better in other ways, yadda yadda yadda blah blah blah…but right now I have one word: phooey. Not working! No comfort, especially when all I can think about is “Poor me.”

And it doesn’t help that Maalaala Mo Kaya‘s episode last night is all about an NBSB.

*another deep breath*

Okay, enough bitterness (I actually have a post draft here titled The Bitterness Factor, hahaha!). I will still try to make this post positive, if only to still try and comfort myself. So let me repost this article that a colleague posted in Multiply, all about waiting. I’d really like to believe in this one…and honestly I think I know I believe in this one. Right now I’m just kind of having a hard time finding comfort in it. But I believe in it. You don’t always have to find comfort in that, right?

Like I said. Rain + hormones = not a good combination.

So, enjoy the article below. Emphasis mine, by the way. I’ll be back with a hopefully more cheerful post tomorrow. :)

Continue reading The Sacrament of Waiting →

The Refine Me Vault (tinamats.com)