Tag Archives: work

Dear Diary

Long Weekend # 2

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After a series of two long weekends, it makes me wonder if those two long weekends were worth it. Interestingly, right after last week’s four-day weekend (which I enjoyed very much), I got back to work and saw…there’s more work. :| And I really wouldn’t be surprised that I would be faced with even more work when I get back on Tuesday.

I wouldn’t sound this sarcastic and stressed if I was only dealing with normal work. But for some reason, life started wooshing in after this (sort of kind of) big choice I made last week, life suddenly started wooshing in. Hay life, so ironic. On top of work, there’s a presentation I need to work on and deliver next week, meetings to attend to, extracurricular things, and personal stuff I need to plan and go to — dinners, trips, etc. And I know that a few weeks ago, I’d sacrifice all the personal stuff, such as Vegas vacations and going home early, so I can finish work. But ever since I told myself I’d give time for myself after the weeks of busy-ness, I’m so ready to put my personal stuff first before anything else, yes, including work.

Talk about change. :P

But I must strike balance. Yes, balance. Work-life balance, oh yeah.

But just take a look at this calendar:

August Schedule

Crazy huh? And there’s still more coming, I can feel it.

But I will not think about it too much, especially since I have one more day of weekend left for tomorrow. :) I’ll get through this last week of August with flying colors. By God’s grace. :) And come September, I’ll be able to start sort of a new. :D Happy Sunday, everyone!

Dear Diary, Say Cheese!

End of Difficult Weeks, I Hope

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Ah, Saturday!

It’s no news that the past days/weeks has been a bit of hectic for me, because of all the things I’ve signed myself up to do. The past weeks has been difficult — physically, mentally and emotionally. But I think I’m finally done with everything…okay, almost everything. I think I still have some leftover stuff I need to do, but most of the pending stuff are done. :)

Admittedly the past week has been better than the last few ones, probably because I’m not worrying about Australia anymore.  I guess it really is a blessing in disguise that I didn’t push through because if I was, I probably be wouldn’t blogging right now, plus I’d probably be going crazy right now with preparing. Not to mention bankrupt with all the things I need to buy for my trip. No regrets. :)

Townhall Team - Photo by Sam YaokasinLast night was our company’s townhall ((A company-wide meeting where the bosses give updates about the company and its initiatives)), and I was a part of the townhall committee. It was a month-long preparation, and I’m really glad I survived it. :D I got to head the creatives team, which I chose to be a part of mostly because of what I do for the club I am a part of at work — make email announcements. Turns out there’s so much more stuff to do for the team — from the program concept to the script to the sounds! ACK! Thank God I was with a great team! It was stressful, yes, but it was all a great learning experience. In the span of two weeks, I learned how to animate in Flash ((Yes, I know Flash, but I’m more of an Action Script person than animation)) and edit sounds in Garageband (overnight!). I also made a simple Flash presentation in the span of an hour. That’s a personal record. :D

The townhall was a success, at least in my point of view. It may not be as grand as the kick-off early this year, but I know we gave all our best here. There’s still one more townhall on Monday which I have to sit out on since I really need to rest. But that’s one thing off my Big Rocks list for the next week. :) Yay.

Oh, but there was a surprising moment yesterday! On the second part of the awarding ceremony at the townhall, they were showing some videos about employees who have embodied one of the company’s values. On the fourth video, there was a news report of sorts by none other than our club president and other friends, and then all of a sudden, I saw my face (and four other friends’ faces) onscreen. Haha, turns out, we were being honored for being dedicated to the club! Surprise galore? So that’s why MM said something about everything being worth it in the end. Haha. So again, even if I said this in the email last Friday, let me say it once again: THANK YOU! :)

After last night’s second run, I met up with my successor in the project team I’ve been heading for the past two quarters, and I’m really glad that my term for being lead is over. :) I like what I do, but it’s kind of tiring being the lead. Plus, it’s time for someone else to take over. :)

I went home and slept like a log until almost noon. I watched Horton Hears a Who on DVD and then some TV and finally went to Galleria to go online. Obviously I’m still here, and I’m still deciding if I should get a pedicure later to treat myself. But maybe after I finish accounting my funds.

So it’s a relatively slow Saturday. I’ve got some little stuff I need to do, but like I said, it’s little. I want to spend some time alone for a while because I’ve been surrounded by people lately. Me time, me time.

I just realized how…novel-ish this situation is. I’m sitting at a coffee shop with my laptop, iPod plugged into my ear, cellphone beside me and a book waiting to be read. Plus I’ll be going home to the condo later, and for a few hours I’d be sitting there alone because my brother’s going home late. How…grown-up. Ha, I feel like I’m Rain.:P

Here’s to a relatively quiet weekend. :) Starting next week I’ll be going back home to our house because condo living is expensive. Sure, it feels more posh to live in a condo but it’s definitely cheaper to just go home. I guess…here’s to a relatively quiet week ahead. :D

Happy weekend everyone!

Dear Diary

For now

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Hah, weekend. And I’m actually at home, instead of sitting in the condo, using Smart 3G at an attempt to be online. Yes, home sweet home.

Last week…was another difficult week. Interestingly, I’ve had three straight difficult and stressful weeks and it feels like it’s been going on forever. Hay. I can’t elaborate on things (yet), but suffice to say, I’m just glad it’s over. It was challenging, tear-inducing and very disappointing, and somehow I think all that happened has made me jaded. :|

Although, I just received some good news today, and fortunately I am seeing brighter skies (and lighter load, praise God) ahead. Next week’s going to be insanely busy with the company townhall and all that I am a part of, but I’m glad to say that after that, I will be more or less free. :) Thank You Lord. :D

But, if there’s one thing I learned the past weeks, it’s that all is temporary. Meaning, it’s all part of life. Things outside our circle of influence happen, and all we can do is try to make the right choices and never regret the decisions we make, and adjust to how things happen. Yes, that makes life complicated, but, as my friend says, “An uncomplicated life is not a life at all; it’s a routine.” I agree. :)

It hit me just now that I haven’t been paying attention to any of my 2008 Goals. :| Eeep. And we’re already at the second half of the year! Must pick them up again! I’ve got places to go (unfortunately one has been temporarily removed from the list, erm), things to do, recipes to try and bake (I haven’t baked in the longest time!), and goals to accomplish! Yeahbah. Bring it on. :)

Dear Diary, Greetings

Bords!

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Happy Anniversary!

So…it’s been another year. :) Today, I celebrate my first year in my current company. That’s us, around September, during our photo shoot for the newsletter of our account. And no, that’s not what was shown in the newsletter, but it’s one of our wacky poses, which just goes to show how wacky we really are in real life.

Our team has gone through a lot for the past year. From the orientation, to trainings, to successful transition, to having difficult and hard to understand clients. There’s also when we were tapped for projects outside of our process that we can work on — video editing, posters, full color printing, etc. There were the awards that the team got that shocked everyone, that put us in a new status within the company, sort of. There was our almost monthly dinner every after payday, the videoke nights, the free dinners care of our team lead. There were also the sad times, where we shared in the loss of a teammate’s family, where we prayed for a teammate’s health when she was hospitalized. And there was also the struggles within the team — the misunderstandings, the unmet expectations and lack of professionalism. And then there’s the goodbyes of two teammates, and changes happening inside and outside the team that we all try to adjust to as much as we can.

That’s our team. We’re not perfect, and there were times I really want to strangle all of them because of me being the only girl left…but it’s also like family. We are friends as well as teammates, and it’s always a pleasure to be working with these guys (and hopefully another girl whoever the new hire is).

So…here’s to a year with these crazy guys. :D Happy anniversary! Best team na ‘to!

And as for me? How was my past year in the company been so far? :) It’s been one heck of a ride, and it’s far from over. :) Even if things aren’t as good as it seems to be with all the changes happening, I think I’m going to be in here for the long run. :D Great adventure!

Thank You Lord. :)

Dear Diary

Sort of Independent Living

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So this is how it feels to “live independently.”

I’ve been staying at our condo unit for the past nights together with my brother just for kicks. Okay, first it was just for kicks when we all slept over here last Wednesday, and then I was only supposed to be here until Friday. But no, I ended up staying until today, Sunday, because of a lot of reasons.

Some things I realized:

  • It can get very boring when you’re alone. Really. I mean, when I’m alone at home, I can just turn on the TV and be logged on all day online, but since there’s no cable here yet, and my main source of Internet is Smart 3G (which means it’s on my bill), I can’t really be online 24/7.
  • It’s hard to run out of clothes. Since I was supposed to stay only until Friday, the clothes I brought were only up to then. But since I extended, I ended up buying a new pair of pants, 2 tops and underwear just so I can have clothes for the additional two days. Of course, I can always go to the laundry, but there’s no laundry service in the condo yet. So…hello Bench.
  • It’s kind of hard when there’s not much things yet. We have yet to buy plates, and shelves and stuff from furniture stores.
  • It’s so tempting and easy to just buy stuff at the nearby mall — food, clothes, and all other things! It’s also so tempting to just stay at the mall and hang out…which I sort of plan on doing in a while.

It’s fun and interesting, but at the same time it gets sad and boring. For some reason, it’s a lot different than when I was staying at a dorm — maybe it’s because school’s just there and my friends are just there and my roommates are always there…or maybe it’s because I’m really sort of independent already, with me doing some of the cleaning and spending for myself. I miss eating home-cooked meals already. :( Although I have to admit it’s kind of easier to get to work from here (even easier than from home), I still miss being in my bed and in a more spacious place than this.

The good news is, I’m going home earlier. I don’t know if I will stay here next week, or just ask my brother to bring my stuff, but I can see it’s another packed week for me next week, so it might be easier if I stay here. Hm. Let’s see.

But today…I will work on the stuff I need to work on (so. many!) and then watch Kung Fu Panda (FINALLY). Happy Sunday!

Dear Diary

Rain rain on my face

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Okay, so there was actually no rain on my face, but it kind of sucks when rain destroys all your weekend plans of pampering yourself and and all the “pampering” you did was catch up on sleep. Bah. Not that I don’t mind sleeping in…but my pampering! :)) I didn’t get to watch a movie last week because of…lots of things, and I was planning to get a haircut today since my hair’s starting to get unruly, and split ends abound, and I want to have it cut before I get it straightened.

Oh well. The pampering shall wait, I guess. And it’s no use if my hair gets wet after it has been blow-dried. :P It is nice to snuggle under the covers and sleep, or write in my journal after days of not catching up (which reminds me, I need to get back to it). And I’m so glad electricity is back — every geek’s nightmare is when there’s no electricity and the gadgets are not charged. :-B Hee.

Anyway. I’ve had a long week. The last time I had something like this was last February, but that was just physically tiring. This week was physically, emotionally and mentally exhausting, that I still feel the effects of it until now. I’m just glad it’s over and I wouldn’t have survived if it weren’t for my friends, both inside and outside of work. Thank you.

The next week’s going to be just as busy as the last, but I’ve heeded my teammate’s advice and listed down the things I need to do so I can prioritize. I’m done writing down my “Big Rocks” ((A 7 Habits for Highly Effective People term which refers to the big things you have to accomplish every week depending on your role which you schedule first and are not supposed to be moved. The other things that come during the week are “Little Rocks”, which you schedule around the big rocks)) and placed them on my planner. I’m kind of nervous about the turnout of these things I will be doing, but…God is faithful. Be with me Lord.

I can’t wait till June is over. After this month I’m going to let go of a couple of responsibilities which I should have let go of since March. But this time, I’m putting me first, and focus on other commitments. Not even free CAT5e products can change my mind.

It’s still raining a bit outside, but I really hope the flood at our village gate subsides soon because I need to get to work tomorrow. I have to be at an important presentation in the afternoon and the presentation is not yet even started, plus I have tons of emails to send, which I really need to send tomorrow to get things rolling.

See, I’m thinking about it already. Bah. RELAX. Breathe.

Stay safe, everyone!

Dear Diary, In His Steps

Stressed much?

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Yes I’m stressed.

The moment I woke up today, I knew I wasn’t in my normal chipper mood. I have been feeling quite lethargic since yesterday and today was just…blah. The only thought that is running through my head is, “I’m so tired.” And believe me, as many things that I do and deal with, I hardly ever say that I am tired. I actually thrive on being busy, because it keeps things so interesting.

But this week has felt like such a chore. There are two ways for me to deal with stress. The ideal way is to be focused and keep moving forward, finishing all the things I have to do in the best time possible. Then there’s the other way, where I squirm out of commitments, where I try to ignore my responsibilities and just try to get away from everything. Thankfully, I’ve been doing the former, but lately it’s been so tempting to do the latter — I just want to disappear and then go back when everything’s over. Preferably done by someone else.

Hay.

So anyway, I was browsing around a new website I discovered through Sarah, The Boundless Webzine. It’s kind of like Lifeteen, only it caters to people in the college and post-college people. Ah, it’s kind of like Bustedhalo. :D There you go. Anyway, so I was browsing it earlier while eating breakfast in my workstation, and I was looking for articles about faith, about being weary just to refresh myself in some way and I came across an article called Venting and Losing. I read it, and right from the start I knew it was for me. :)) Here’s some parts:

I’ve always been a glass-half-full kind of girl. My friends will tell you I’m quick to look for the bright side of most situations. I’m not a complainer. At least that’s what I like to think.

A couple weeks ago, I found myself in a depressing cycle. It started with my dissatisfaction with a certain relationship. The person was failing to meet my expectations, which disappointed me. That disappointment led to anger, which led to grumpiness.

Feeling the need to “process,” I vented my frustration to my exercise buddy. Although she tried to console me, my venting caused my self-righteousness to rise and made me even grumpier.

Over the next few days, I stewed over the situation and “vented” to several other people. As I griped about my unfair situation, I found myself not only being frustrated with the initial relationship but being critical of others as well. Soon it seemed as if everyone was letting me down.

My dissatisfaction grew until I reached a breaking point. Tearfully, I took it out on a friend who happened to call at the wrong moment. When I hung up the phone, I realized something had gone terribly wrong. Instead of helping my situation, venting had blown it out of proportion…

…My complaints, on the other hand, are trivial: Perceived mistreatment by another person. Less than ideal circumstances in my personal life. Not getting things I believe I deserve. OK, so I may not be wandering in the desert, but these things can still seem unfair…

…Our world is marked by complaint. Complaint against our government. Complaint against the educational system. Complaint against those who bring us food, bag our groceries, let their cell phones go off during movies. Our freedom of speech is the freedom to complain. And we take that freedom very seriously.

A person who doesn’t criticize something is a novelty. He makes you wonder why he’s satisfied. As believers, we have a compelling reason to not complain. We have been shown undeserved grace and given unfathomable riches through Jesus Christ. In light of this, complaining about anything seems — well, silly.

I say I trust an all-powerful, good, loving God, but when that trust is put to the test through less-than-ideal circumstances, I often fail. Instead of acknowledging that God controls the details of my life, I moan and groan about how unacceptable they are. A life where grumbling is absent, however, speaks volumes about a person’s trust in God.

[Read entire article here]

Ouch! How about that. But thank You, Lord. You always know where to hit me.

I’m still tired, yes, and I still feel stressed and somehow I feel like I’m going to spontaneously combust (thanks Yam for the term) anytime…but I’m going to do my best to follow Philippians 2:14-15 : “Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe.”

By God’s grace, God and I will go through this. :) One of my favorite Bible verses back in high school, during my stressful times was: “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:12-13). This is even better than any venting session or the best diet pill or even the new Starbucks Dark Mocha Frappuccino (which I really, really love). I will hold onto this, and to the promise that God is with me every step of the way. :) Great adventure!

Are you stressed? :)

Dear Diary, Thought-Provoking

Separation Anxiety

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Yahoo! Messenger works wonders, especially if you’re feeling sad and you kind of want everyone in your contact list to notice, even if you pretend you don’t. Hah. My YM status last night was from one of my new favorite artist’s songs, Jon McLaughlin’s Human: Is there any other reason why we stay instead of leaving?

See? Feel the drama! Because of that, I ended up talking to more than 5 people last night. Heh.

People leaving in the workplace isn’t a new thing for me. In my first job, it came to a point where someone says goodbye every single week. It was a serious morale downer, and I have to admit that it’s one of the things that made me entertain the thought of leaving and actually doing so. It was hard, but in a way it was kind of an accepted fact in my last job. Not even better offers inside the company or free wine racks can make them stay. What goes through my mind every time someone leaves is not “Why are they leaving” but “When will it be my turn?” It’s that bad, in my opinion.

Moving into my new job is one of the best things that happened last year, and I know I mentioned it here more than once. Compared to my first one, this place is heaven. My salary isn’t as high as what my other friends in other companies have, and it’s not really hardcore IT, but compared to my old job, this is really so much better. On top of doing the job that I love (web related), I get to meet lots of new people because of my extra-curriculars (I love that I get to do extracurriculars here), and I can see a lot of career possibilities for me. It feels like I’m in school with a huge monthly allowance, which I really like. It’s not perfect, yes, but it’s so much better than in other places. So I guess I am a happy camper here.

Which is probably why it’s kind of hard for me to accept and hear that other people who I’ve met and are getting to know and became friends with are all planning to leave or thinking about leaving or is not satisfied here. I know it’s different for every person, and the environment is not the same in every account (and I’m really lucky to be in my domain and account right now), and other people aren’t fulfilled with what they are doing or are tired with what they are doing, compared to me who feels like it’s just starting.

Continue reading Separation Anxiety →

Dear Diary

Some Life Updates

A lot has been happening in my life lately, most especially at work. Here are the things that has happened, which I’ve tried my best to put in order:

  • Hillsong United in Manila
  • Grace’s last day (Which I have yet to post about…but for now, I miss you dear!)
  • Battling sore throat and colds so I won’t get sick (Orofar-L for the win!)
  • Celebration dinner at Italianni’s with a whopping bill (as in!)
  • More news which I really don’t want to talk about yet. :|
  • Meeting up with Street Team friends for World Pyro Olympics and bonding until midnight with my best friend who I haven’t seen for the loooongest time
  • Shopping with my mom and seeing our new (but bare) condo.
  • Getting a Sun SIM card and a phone due to popular demand (especially the Street Team. Hah).
  • Work annoyances which I don’t know if I should talk about here.

In fairness, I’m not really busy right now, which is kind of unusual. I still have some email blasts to do for the club, plus the normal work. I am ashamed to admit that I’ve snapped one too many times at work. :( Some things I realized about myself though:

  • I don’t look stressed, but my stress comes out in bursts of anger. And I believe I’m not yet done having short tempers. :( Ack, I’m so sorry.
  • Changes are really unnerving. I know it’s normal and all, but still, it’s hard when people decide to leave all of a sudden. Their changes vary, of course, and I can’t blame them for choosing that way. It’s just hard when the people around you who make you happy aren’t happy with what they have or where they are. Or are forced to choose other things over you. I know it’s very selfish to only think of what makes me happy, so I try my best to understand. It’s just hard and uncomfortable and sad, mostly on my side. Hay. How I wish adjusting to change and my feelings could be changed as quickly as car parts, but no. Life isn’t like that.
  • I miss hearing mass everyday, like the way I did in college. I’m glad that God has given me the chance to revive that; even if I am doing it for a specific intention. I’m thinking of still going to mass everyday, no matter what the outcome of the Sydney waiting game is.
  • I am truly a work in progress, as I find myself coming face to face with some old challenges (as if God is giving me another chance to really apply what I’ve learned) and some new challenges (where He seems to be asking me to be a better person…and it’s hard :| ).

Life’s good. Not always easy, yes, but as Ayiesha Woods sings, If everyday was an easy day, you’d never be able to say that Jesus brought you through. Amen. God is good, no matter how hard life can be.

And now I am off to mass. :) Have a great Tuesday everyone.

Dear Diary

If my life were a TV show, this is where the flashbacks come in

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I’ve had a really, really long week. Stayed late at work almost all week, had meetings, rejoiced over David Cook winning American Idol, had a terribly embarrassing moment, had really painful realizations, and had a despedida dinner for someone at work. If it weren’t for the daily mass, I’d probably be crazy right now. And it’s not over because of some big things happening this weekend, which I want to be excited for, but for some reason, I am not. This is weird, yes, but I’m guessing this is just an oppression…so….

Anyway. Long week it was. Lots of changes, things happening at work and my life that sometimes I just want to ask God to pause all of it for a while, and let me breathe. You know the feeling? This is definitely one of the moments I want a remote control where I could pause life for a while when it’s getting too suffocating with everything that’s happening, ala Click. Or, have a pensieve (sp?) like Albus Dumbledore where I could just dump my thoughts and memories there and go back to them when I’m ready.

I was telling Alvin and Grace earlier while the three of us hung out at Starbucks: if this were a TV show, this is the moment where the flashbacks come in. You know, the episode where everyone recalls what happened to them in the past? That one. We had Grace‘s despedida dinner earlier at work, and it hit me more today that Grace is really leaving. I’m happy for her, really, that her dream to go to Japan is now coming true…but there’s the sad feeling of her leaving the company. I know it’s a fact of life, that people come and go into your life, especially at work. It just feels sad that one my closest friends at work is leaving. :( I know we’ll still be friends, but it’s just…different. We didn’t even get to wear funny t-shirts together. Awww.

So earlier, we were talking about our first days in the company and how much fun we used to have as a team…we still have fun, yes, but a lot of things have changed now. I can’t go into detail, but it is very different. A few days ago, I was listening to one of the songs I kept on playing when I was first in the night shift and I remembered how simple everything seemed then. How easy it is to love my job, how easy it is to love my team. I still love my job and my team, but…like I said, things are changing and it’s not really comfortable.

Truth be told, I miss the old days. I miss how it was before.

But…we’ve got to face the music. I’ve got to adjust.

Hay.

So…if you could spare some time for me, friends, please pray for me. The next few days are bound to be physically and emotionally taxing, I’m going to need all the prayers I can get.

In the meantime…enjoy your weekend friends. To those going to the Hillsong United worship on Monday, see you! :) And pray for us too. :D