Tag Archives: Valentine’s Day

Dear Diary, In His Steps

All by Myself and Happy

Twenty minutes till today ends. I should be sleeping, but I couldn’t let the day end without blogging today, so hello.

And yeah, it’s still Valentine’s Day. Or Chinese New Year, if you’d prefer that.

I’ve always exerted extra effort to be cheerful during Valentine’s Day for the past years, mostly because I’m tired of being bitter. I know I haven’t really got a lot to be bitter about, but when everyone else makes plans with their special someones during the 14th of February, it’s hard to stay happy while I wish for the same thing to happen to me.

I’ve been feeling some kind of angst for the past few days for some reason. I have an idea why, but since this blog is a bit too public, I’d really rather not divulge the reasons. But let me talk about something I learned in the past few days.

I have always tried to convince myself to be happy at the state of my heart, and my love life, or lack thereof. I’ve always tried to be happy about my singlehood, but I know I fail at it a lot. As much as I don’t want to admit it, I find myself wishing that there’s someone who I can always talk to, someone who can be a constant companion and all that. Like every single girl out there, I dream of having a prince charming who will sweep me off my feet and bring me to happily ever after. I feel envious of people who seem to get their own princes so easily, while I always get into “almost there”s and suffer the “what-ifs” and “what-could-have-beens.” It’s frustrating, and when I get hit by those emo spells, it’s hard to get out of the rut. Why can’t I find someone to watch a movie with? Why do I eat alone? Why do I settle for being a third wheel? Sigh. I find myself praying, asking, even begging God to give me the guy now, because I’m lonely and I don’t know if I can wait any longer.

But you know what’s really, really funny? Whenever I try to think about it, as in really think about it, I’m not even ready to settle down. When my friends and I talk about getting married and having kids, I always say, “Ask me again in five years.” I can’t imagine myself saying “forever” just yet, and yet, I am looking for forever, too. How inconsistent can I be?

I guess it just goes to show how much I can be a hypocrite with what I say. Single life rocks? Yeah, right. It’s easier to find a job than to find a good guy in my world.

A couple of weeks ago, I listened to the newest episode of Lifeteen’s Love Life podcast (you should listen to this too, seriously), and they were talking about how to get noticed. One of them said something about being confident, and one thing stuck me the most: “Be okay with being alone by yourself.” Be okay with being alone — that’s something new. How is that supposed to be okay? And I think I already had enough practice of that, so it’s really not new advice, you know? I have that down, pat.

But…how many times have I complained that I wanted a guy who can drive me anywhere when I’m being inconvenienced by commuting. How many times have I complained that I have no movie buddy to watch a movie anytime? How many times have I looked at other people in the mall and wish that I had the same relationship as they have with others? How many times have I envied my friends who have blooming love lives?

Maybe…I’m not really used to me being alone and being okay with me being alone. I just tolerated it, but I never really took the time to appreciate my being alone.

As a Valentine’s Day resolution (yes, I invented this term), I’m going to learn to be okay with being by myself. Having someone is a plus, but I believe it’s not a requirement for me to have fun and enjoy myself. :) I think I need to learn to be my own person before whoever that is comes along.

I leave you with this quote I got from Lifeteen.com again — there’s a lot of truth in this. :)

…remember that you have a God who is madly in love with you. You have a God who knows you intimately and will never leave you. You have a God whose love makes you someone.

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone. ♥

Randomnities, Thought-Provoking

Single on Heart's Day

I’m a bit too busy to actually write something for Valentine’s Day right now so I’ll reserve that this weekend. For now, I’ll share with you an article I co-wrote with a couple of friends at work, so here! :D Enjoy reading!

Single on Heart’s Day?

It’s that time of the year again. Love songs play on the radio, flower and chocolate sales are at an all time high, and red is the color of the season.

Yes, friends, it’s time for Valentine’s Day.

Every year, more and more singles dread the month of February, especially when it comes to the middle of the month. Even if the 14th means payday, it also means that everyone who’s got someone is out on a date with their significant others, while singles are at a loss to look for what to do on that night.

It’s time to change that notion. You can have fun on Valentine’s Day, even if you have no significant other. Here are some suggestions for you to enjoy the 14th of February and not be sad or bitter (or both), because yes, it is possible to enjoy the day even without a date.

Continue reading Single on Heart's Day →

Dear Diary

February, February

Oh dear, where did January go?

Hello, February. We’re officially 2/12 into 2010, and how have you been?

I spent the last weekend of my January in Baguio — the first time I got back there since…wait, let me count…okay, 11 YEARS AGO. Wow. A lot has changed but I can’t remember what since my memory of my first visit in Baguio is fuzzy already. But it’s definitely very cold there, and it’s a feat to take a bath without a heater in the morning there. The food was amazing, and I’m happily eating strawberries everyday because of my stash. Yum.

On another note, February means another thing. And yes, I dare to write about it (even if my friends and I are saying that the only event on February 14 is Chinese New Year — and I’m not even Chinese), because…well, it’s my blog, and I can write what I want.

So there.

Wait, where was I?

Okay, again. February means another thing: VALENTINE’S DAY.

Valentine's Day

Ah. Valentine’s Day. Let me count the ways that this “holiday” means to me.

Or not.

Okay, perfectly honest moment? I’m not too excited about this coming February 14. Okay, I’ve never really been excited for Valentine’s Day ever, except maybe two years ago when we had an activity for that day. This year, aside from some plans with friends on the day before, there’s nothing. But then again, it’s not different from last year’s anyway.

I guess the real reason why I’m not too keen about February 14 because I have some leftover hang-ups/angst about…some stuff. I can’t really elaborate, but you probably know what I mean already, right?

It’s just hard to be happy-happy over Valentine’s when you don’t really feel like being happy. Especially when media is pressing it more to you — with TV shows, messages (no auto insurance quotes), gifts and anything to commercialize the holiday. It can get disheartening, especially when you know there’s nothing coming for you over the horizon.

Oh wait, that sounded bitter over there.

Sigh. But you probably know what I mean, right? I hate whining about my lack of love life because I believe it’s not something to whine about. Sometimes it’s just hard to keep on waiting.

Sigh (#2). But I will try. I told Cors that I’m still working on these leftover angst, and hopefully they’re gone by the 14th. I think there’s one thing I should do, and I really, really need to do that. Lord, I need to talk to You, soon. I need to stop being lazy with prayer and actually pray.

But right now…sigh.

Dear Diary

Of Roses and Changes

So, belated Happy Valetine’s Day! ♥ How was your V-day?

Mine was pretty lazy. The day before Valentine’s Day was kind of interesting, though. Interesting only because I was having a semi-relaxed day at work. It was a far different cry from last year’s Valentine’s Week where my stress levels were at an all time high because of all the activities we had. But the Friday was interesting too — Subway with officemates, then Coffee Bean with club friends and Something Fishy at night. Oh, and I did get flowers, thanks to my friends. :) So it was a fairly nice day.

It just occurred to me that I’ve received flowers for Valentine’s Day for three consecutive years already. How about that. Thanks, God. :)

But my weekend was just lazy. Talk about sitting on my butt for two whole days watching TV. I would’ve gone and watched a movie today but I was too comfortable on our couch, even if they’re not home theater furniture. I don’t know why I didn’t go out, save for the fact that crowds were everywhere last Saturday. I dunno, I guess I just wanted to stay put for a change. Does this mean I’m going out next weekend? Probably. Or maybe mid-shift is just taking its toll on me.

On other news, there’s change coming in the horizon, career-wise, and I can’t help but feel a bit apprehensive about how fast things are going. You know me, I’d really rather have things done gradually, so I can give a proper goodbye to the things I used to do and have some time to get used to the new things, but life doesn’t work like that, unfortunately. It’s not that the new thing is bad…in fact, it’s a very desirable career growth. Of course with growth comes more responsibilities, and I have been trying to step up, so it’s just right. But there’s just so many changes that will happen with this that I don’t know if I’m really ready for it. And if I’m really ready to give up what I have right now for something else. The shift, the holidays, the time I have…I don’t know.

I wish I could say it’s scary and exciting, but right now it’s just plain scary.

I’m trying not to think too much about it until it is actually right in front of me and I have nothing else to do but jump. That’s kind of extreme, I know, but it’s all I could think about doing. I guess I can just take a bit of comfort in the little thing I learned a couple of weeks back during one meeting I attended: saying Yes. As scared as I am right now, I have a feeling that this is one of the things I should say YES to, even if I have no idea what’s in store for me. Who knows what will happen, right? And it’s got to be good, even if it’s probably hard at first.

Yes, I’m trying to convince myself.

And no, I haven’t watched Yes Man. I should, though.

Hay hay. Growing up, you are so hard and challenging. But I know I’m not alone, so that’s comforting enough.

Every opportunity to fear is also an opportunity to TRUST GOD.

Please include me in your prayers? :)

Have a great week ahead everyone!

Dear Diary

Bitter, Bitter

Aaaand it’s Valentine’s Week. I couldn’t let this week pass up without making somewhat of a Valentine’s post. So I take a pause on book, music and Phentermine reviews to write something just for this day. ;)

One of the questions in Dave Barnes’ website talked about bitterness during Valentine’s Day. Specifically, What do bitter people do on Valentine’s Day?

Ah, let me count the ways. :>

Haha, okay, seriously now. It’s no secret that I’m still single, and it doesn’t help that Valentine’s Day is so commercialized that it tends to amplify the fact that yes, I am single, and change in that status can hardly be seen over the horizon.

Ah bitterness. Curse whoever thought Valentine’s Day should be celebrated with flowers to their loved ones. Worry over the fact that all your friends who are in a relationship would be going out on dates on the 14th and lament over the fact that you are not one of them. Wonder if the guy/girl you like would respond to any “moves” for that day. Eat tons of chocolates (that you bought for yourself), watch sappy chick flicks and romantic comedies and laugh, but inside wonder when those things will ever happen to you. Wear black on the 14th and stock up on anti-Valentine’s day quotes. Or even start Valentine’s day groups, like MAMS: Mabuhay ang mga Single or something similar.

Ah bitterness. Just like coffee with no sugar. :P

So yes, I did succumb to bitterness. Still do, more often than not. I remember back in college, we used to wear black during Valentine’s Day. It wasn’t until I got back to YFC and told myself there’s no reason to be bitter on that day that I actually stopped being bitter over it. Well, a little.

I don’t know if it’s because of my upbringing in YFC or because of all the books about singlehood I’ve read, but I realized that bitterness over Valentine’s Day is just a state of mind. It’s something you choose to be or to be not whenever February rolls around. Just as how someone chooses to wear red like the rest of the world does on the 14th instead of wearing black to make a statement. It’s appreciating the idea — no matter how selfish it seems — that you won’t be spending so much for anyone or you won’t be stuck with the crowds all over the Metro on the 14th to go on a date.

Really, there’s no reason to be bitter. No matter how dismal or how single you are on V-Day (take it from me, haha), in the end the 14th is really just a day. And don’t tell me it’s love day, because love day can be everyday, not just February. :P

Right?

So this 14th of February, I’ll have fun. I don’t know what I’ll do yet, but I’ll definitely do my best to enjoy the day, no matter how very single I am. :P Really, it’s more worth it. :)