Category Archives: Thought-Provoking

Things that made me think and would make you think too.

I'm losing you and it's effortless

Despite the Alvin and the Chipmunks movie thing with Grace and Jeb, I’m feeling quite down today. I blame it all on the introspection I did on the dorky email invite I sent last night, to what kind of leadership style I have to me not having someone to vent this all out on. Not that I mind being able to write in my journal; it’s just that I miss having someone to vent all the things out on. Not only any person, but a specific person.

So now I ask the question: Is a friend still a friend even if you hardly talk to each other? Let’s say you had a pretty good friendship, but then a lot of things happened to your individual lives — one of you got a relationship, both of you started working, or someone in the family goes away, or something like that — and because of all of this, you slowly lose contact. You still consider the other person as a friend, but you hardly see each other, let alone talk. You can’t wait to tell the other person about everything, but when you do, you get nothing back. You text, but you don’t get a reply because you’re from a different network. You plan something so you would see each other, but then the other person doesn’t show up. Or the other person shows up, but terribly late and everything’s over. You continue talking about time together, but nothing ever happens. You find out major things about the other person from someone else, and when you ask that person, that’s when you get to know what really happened. You feel like you’re giving everything to preserve the friendship you have and there’s nothing from the other end.

Who feels like that sometimes? How about right now? *raises hand*

Continue reading I'm losing you and it's effortless

Dysfunctional Friendships

I’m supposed to be writing some articles for this freelance gigs, but nooo, I’m obviously not. I have my sources ready, and the document templates, but I am not doing a thing. Argh. I still have two websites to set up which is supposed to be up today, but no, I’m not doing anything either. Argh. How’s that for starting the year right? Hay.

But that assignment is due Saturday so I still have time…right? I have twelve articles due on Saturday and I finished one (but it is very crappy), so that leaves me with…11 more to go for the next two days. Great.

Okay, I shall stop the sarcasm now and I will focus on something more serious.

New Year’s Eve, my high school classmate’s dad passed away. It was a very sad thing to happen at such time, I know, and silly old me, I only texted her a day after. I didn’t know if I should greet her a happy new year still. Last night, some friends and I went to the wake to pay our respects and as expected, we saw other high school batchmates there as well. After praying a bit at the coffin, we gathered outside to stay for a while and talk about how we were, and about other people in the batch.

Ah, high school.

Continue reading Dysfunctional Friendships

Proud to be Pinoy

I was never tagged to do this survey (and I was waiting for a tag, hmph!), but since the holiday’s fitting, I’ll have it up now, regardless of the nontag. Today is the 109th year of Philippine Independence, and yes, that is disregarding the fact that the Americans and the Japanese took over our country afterwards. This is a day that we all celebrate, for we are finally free of the 300+ years of Spanish rule.

And because of this holiday, I’ll be stealing the survey that some people has done for the past weeks, 3 reasons why I’m proud to be Pinoy. I don’t know if I can stick to three reasons only, because being a Filipino is something I am really proud of. :)

  1. Strong family values. I love how Filipinos have strong family values, about how one entire clan can live inside a single compound. It’s not only in the own family, but also in the way other people are treated — everyone of my parent’s friends are my Tito/Tita (Uncle/Aunt), and deep friendships are often compared to brotherhood/sisterhood. Filipino family values run deep, which is a really amazing trait that we have.
  2. Our ability to find laughter in any situation, even at ourselves. It’s not about making fun of people or the situation, but finding the brighter side of each circumstance. I love how even in the most dire situation, Filipinos can still crack a joke to lighten everyone’s moods. :)
  3. The Food. I know I’m an Italian food lover, but seriously, nothing beats Filipino food! Filipino meals are a different combination — the appetizer (soup) and main course are put together in one viand, and one can have as many servings as is permitted to him! The colors, the tastes — one cannot visit a Pinoy home without being full. And then dessert comes. :P Yum!
  4. Our color. I used to dislike my brown skin color, but I realized that this color is something that I should be proud of. For one thing, I am not that susceptible to skin cancer, plus when I go swimming or get exposed to the sun, my color goes darker, but then gradually lightens up. No redness, no peeling skin.
  5. The flexibility of the language. My friends and I were talking about this before, about how alive Filipino language is. It’s already amazing how many dialects there are in the country, and the other thing is that how the language can adapt to other languages. Like how most of our words are influenced by Spanish words — we got their words and made them our own. Or how we can mix Tagalog and English now without sounding really bad (I’m not talking about those who make tusok-tusok the fishball, that’s different :P). Another thing is how our language is not sexist, by having a gender-neutral pronoun to talk about something (i.e. kapatid = brother/sister, asawa = husband/wife).
  6. Flexibility of the people. Put a Filipino in any country and pretty soon, he’ll fit right in. I find it funny how some people I thought were locals or Fil-Ams in Saipan and Guam turn out to be Filipinos who can still speak the language. :) Filipinos are hardworking people who can do everything for the family, which is probably why a lot of people sacrifice for their families in other countries just to help. Mabuhay kayo!
  7. Beautiful, beautiful country. Despite all the traffic, pollution and whatnot, the Philippines is still a beautiful and colorful country.
  8. Bayanihan. It is only in the Philippines that we have this, bayanihan. The picture of people carrying a house to move it to another place is priceless — only Filipinos do this. :)
  9. GK houses in DingalanGawad Kalinga. And since we’re talking about Bayanihan, I could not fail to mention Gawad Kalinga. GK is started by a Filipino to rid of poverty in the country and also in the world, as GK is already present in Papua New Guinea. Being in a GK community is a really different experience. Even if the houses aren’t as grand as the ones in San Diego Real Estate, GK houses are still beautiful (and no doubt, colorful!) in their own way. :) GK is also not about building houses but also building homes. GK works, and I’m not saying that because I’m a volunteer, but because it is true. :) Don’t believe me? I’ll bring you to a GK site one time. ((Which reminds me, I told Pierre I’d plan a Blogger GK visit. Will get to that soon :P))

Well, I went three times the suggestion, but that’s because there is just so many things to be proud of in being a Pinoy. :) That’s why no matter how old and overplayed that Pinoy Big Brother song is, I still feel a kick of Filipino pride every time I hear it. :)

MABUHAY ANG PINOY! Happy Independence Day! :)

The 7 People of Lamentations

Here’s something I learned last Saturday at the SFC Metro Manila Leader’s Assembly (MMLA). The theme of our community for this year is “My portion is in the Lord, says my soul; therefore I will hope in Him.” (Lamentations 3:24) and everyone’s been talking about this ever since some big things happened in our community. Kuya Cocoi was the worship leader last Saturday, and in the middle of the worship, he talked about the book of Lamentations. Lamentations is a book in the Bible full of just that: lamentations. It’s a long list of complaints that the Israelites (God’s chosen people) to God. Inside this book, Kuya Cocoi gave a list of seven people of Lamentations, and they are:

The Seven People of Lamentations ((To read through the entire explanation, read this entry))
(From SFC MMLA, 5/19/2007)

  1. The Guiltless One
    – those who feel no need to repent
  2. The Stiff-Necked One
    – those who persist in their infidelity/sinfulness
    – they think that their sin is not that serious and fail to think that any sin, no matter how small, blocks God
  3. The Impatient One
    – they repent, but they do not pause to learn the lessons God wants to teach
  4. The Shallow One
    – takes repentance forgranted, keeps on repeating the same sin, undermining repentance
  5. The Comfortable One
    – no problem with obeying God, but cannot appreciate the need to be purified by fire through trials and even persecution
    – to lament is to have a posture where we reflect on the purpose of God.
  6. The Clueless One
    – those who do not understand the concept of command responsibility for collective guilt
    – we are one body in Christ, we are a part of one community and we should not be apathetic.
  7. The One of the Other Side
    – the attackers

What’s even more interesting about this is that even if it classifies the Israelites of the early time, this could very well fit these times. Each of us could be one or two of them. Sometimes we even shift from one kind of person to another.

Who are you among the seven people of Lamentations?

Continue reading The 7 People of Lamentations

Filipinos are Special

It’s not a hidden fact to everyone that I am a Pinoy Big Brother viewer. I don’t think I’m a fan yet since I haven’t subscribed to 24/7 or went to any eviction nights, so let’s just stick to viewer. :P

Anyway, in the light of the recent event that a member of Slovenian Big Brother visiting the Pinoy Big Brother household for the Big Brother Swap, here’s a little tribute to Filipinos that someone posted in the PBB Forum ((No, I am not registered; I just subscribed to feeds. :P)) about how Filipinos are special.

This entry also goes out to Mae, maybe as an affirmation of sorts for what she just posted. :) [Warning, long read! But really, worth it.]

Continue reading Filipinos are Special


I was thinking, over thinking
Cause there’s just many scenarios
To analyze, look in my eyes
Cause your my dream please come true.
Overthinking, Relient K

There’s no denying this fact — I overthink. Don’t we all? One of the things that feel so depressing to think of and realize is that when you realize that you really don’t know what you want. Or, when you think you know what you want, but when you get there or when you’re almost there, you wonder if that is what you really want.

Hmm. Yes, I’m overthinking again.

Continue reading Overthinking

Virginia Tech Massacre

Back when I was serving in YFC High School Based, our program head, Kuya Noli, told us the story of why YFC HS Based is very important. Kuya Noli often related to us the story of the Columbine High School Shooting, where after the event, a dad of one of the victims was present at some sort of conference about it discussing why it happened, and he spoke up: Because God has been taken out of the schools.

Hearing about the Virginia Tech Massacre reminded me of Columbine, and reading about what happened, seeing news about it brings tears to my eyes. There are many possible reasons why this happened; people could debate over the killer’s background, his attitudes and whatnot, but I think — and I know some of you might not agree with me — that the reason this happened is a God thing. Or lack of it. Not that God wasn’t there or He let this happen because He wasn’t looking or because He wants to punish people because no one is noticing Him, so He took the side of the killer in this event…rather, it was the lack of actually living out God’s love.

Continue reading Virginia Tech Massacre


Sometimes, no matter how much you want to protect your loved ones from being hurt, you can’t. You’ve got to let them get hurt. You’ve got to let them experience pain. [Or] else, nothing will happen.

Sometimes, no matter how much you want things to be okay, for things not to happen because you know it’s bad and hurtful…you can’t. Because it should be happen. It won’t be okay until it’s not. It has to be not fine first before it becomes fine. It has to be rough before it becomes smooth. You have to get hurt before you realize what’s right, what’s true [, what’s noble].

It’s never easy. Love, faith, relationships. If it’s too easy, it’s not true. It’s not real. For it to be real, it’s got to hurt. Not the shallow heartache, the one that just makes you rant but still have the strength to do other things. It’s got to hurt in a way that it pierces your soul and heart, where all you could think of is that thing, and you beg and plead for it not to hurt, but you know it will. You try to avoid it, try to keep it from happening, but it still does. You cry, wishing for your tears would be enough to stop it, but it doesn’t. It hurts. You hurt. Everyone hurts.

[BUT] IT HAS TO HAPPEN. IT MUST. To avoid it would mean darkness. Death. To face it had on, even without any clue of what will happen [except that it would hurt] will bring truth and life.

Hurt, truth, life. Ironic, but true. That’s what life really is. That’s how one really lives. To know that to live is to hurt, to avoid pain is to die.

– March 4, 2007, 1:20 am


As I was on my way home last night, I realized something.

I don’t hate my job. I don’t even dislike it.

Well, that’s good.


I don’t love it either.

Maybe I like it. But it’s not something I really like (see the emphasis). It’s like when you have a friend that you don’t hate or dislike…but you like that person but not like like. You get what I mean?

So why am I still here if I don’t love it?

Like I said, it’s not that I hate it. I’m doing pretty okay here actually, and I’m learning a lot. I’m making friends (I think). I’m being exposed to the industry (somewhat, but it’s kind of a different industry, actually)! I’m learning how to be professional! But…it doesn’t give me a thrill. Whenever people ask me how I’m doing with my job, I always say, “I’m learning a lot,” never “I love it!” Call it limbo. Somewhere in between.

I don’t feel the excitement you get in doing something you know you love. Like the feeling of a photographer when he sees his photos developed/printed, or when a writer gets hit by a new idea or sees his creation published, or heck, even when a shopper learns about an upcoming sale! That feeling, the feeling in your gut that no matter how difficult the task ahead may seem, it’s okay because you know that you’d love every step you’d be taking on the way and the victory is sweet because you know you loved it.

I think the word here is passion.

I think…that my staying here is influenced by the fact that I like the idea of being able to work. I like the idea of earning my own money and being busy. Of being able to do something productive with my time.

But what if that wears off?

I want to do what Anberlin sings in Time & Confusion: It’s not about the money we make / it’s about the passions that we ache for / what makes your heart beat faster? / tell me now what does your body long after? I want to do something I’m passionate about. Something that makes my heart beat faster whenever I think of it. Something that would make me look forward to waking up every Monday because I know I’m going to enjoy my day.

I wonder if maybe I’m not giving my current job a chance. I mean, I’ve only been there for four months…which is obviously very small amount of time. What do I know about the corporate world in four months? What if I’m feeling this only because of all the not-so-good things I heard, or because I find myself unknowingly comparing myself to other people? What if I’m allowing myself to be influenced, when in the first place I shouldn’t even listen to them? I feel like if I do a career move anytime soon, in anytime less than a year or two years, I am a quitter. And I am definitely not that.

But how do you qualify what quitting is? When can you say when one person is a quitter or not? What if you decide to follow your passion, and in following that you had to change careers in a short span of time, is that quitting?

What will I do now? Am You opening up doors of opportunity here, Lord, or am I thinking highly about myself? Should I go or take my time and see how things unfold before I make a move? (Well the answer to this question is obvious.)

Lord, I need help? Am I acting on my own here or is this really You behind everything I’m hearing and seeing?

Hay, why is growing up so complicated? *sigh*

On another note, because I want to be some sort of “Fairy Godmother” today, I’d make someone‘s wish come true. I’d like to plug Riz‘s pet project, Ituloy Angsulong. You go girl!

Off I go to finish reading The Martyr’s Song by Ted Dekker and cry. :P Oh, I’m crying because of the book okay? :)

Good night! :)

Never take friendship personal

Edit (011607, 11:03am): Instead of making a new entry, I’ve decided to just append the second one here. :D Space saver and it’s easier for me to go back. :) I’ll get this entry finished within the day, I promise!

Edit (011607, 7:18pm): Entry finished! :) Oh, and I’d like to warn you that this entry sounds a bit angry, but that’s just me venting. If ever you get offended by whatever I said, please contact me in private. I’d listen to you, but also remember that this is my blog and I am entitled to my own opinions. Thanks. :)

First off, congratulations to my friends Ryan and Arl who are now registered nurses! :) Congratulations to you two! And congrats to all those who passed the nursing board exams too. :)

Tonight, let’s talk about high school for a while. You know how in high school, there’s always this friendship/barkada drama? Like, there’s always some group against one group, one group against one person, one outcast member in the group, one person against one person, backstabbing one another in all its sad glory. Okay, not all high school friendships are like that, but you can’t deny the existence of all these high school drama. I should know, I’ve been part of it.

Most of my high school friendship drama happened during freshmen year, when everyone was trying to fit in. My problem at the start of the school year was that I don’t know who else is in my class. As far as I know, no one I was close with back in Grade 6 was also in the same section as I am in first year high school. Scary, especially when there are a lot of new students who want to fit in too.

Thank God I met some people who were nice, all because we liked to eat hash browns during recess. We eventually formed a group, and one of our favorite past times was to make fun of this other group of girls in class who write letters to each other everyday. As in every single school day.Take note, we are all classmates and we see each other everyday, yet they write to each other! With stationery and such! My friends and I joked that everytime they pass each other letters every morning, a tree gets cut down.

But because we’re such mature people then (yes, that’s sarcasm on mature), my friends and I eventually joined in with them. Weird, huh? But we did. And then they gave their group a name and we did too. We even formalized a membership by voting on the names we want our group to have. And we thought we were teh coolest, yo.

Continue reading Never take friendship personal